Sentences are concise when they contain only the words they need. To get rid of wordiness, leave out unnecessary words and phrases or substitute simple, clear words for them.
Examples:
Just as he got the fish off the hook, it slipped and fell back into the water. (wordy sentence)
As he unhooked the fish, it slipped and fell into the water. (Concise)
His model airplane, it broke its wing. (wordy)
The wing on his model airplane broke. (concise)
His model airplane had a broken wing. (concise)
Not very long after that happened, Eli knew he had won. (wordy)
Soon after that, Eli knew he had won. (concise)
To add, try and challenge yourself to shrink a paragraph to half of its size. It takes time, but it very rewarding especially when trying to stay within a 100,000 word limit of a book.
Included in this is another worksheet you can use to challenge yourself. Try and shrink the three paragraphs into a concise one or two paragraph explanation. The worksheet and problems are as follows (click for a bigger picture):
