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 Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:51 pm
This is my latest and most developed story. Unfortunatly the drafting of this novel is a slow and gruling progress. As you may have seen, i am not the best of spellers and need some kind souls to help me edit this.
Angelus Everto
Forward
Millions of years ago a prophecy was foreseen. Boen of angel and of demon, an offspring would become the savior of humanity and a channel for both light and darkness. A force greater than God and Lucifer coudl imagine. But with strength comes great responsiblity, tedious training, and realization of potentail. His determination, fuled by the love of a mortal, to find his biological parents will lead him to his true pupose in this world.
Chapter I: The Trials of Love
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Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 6:43 am
101Angelus~Everto101
Millions of years ago a prophecy was foreseen. Boen of angel and of demon, an offspring would become the savior of humanity and a channel for both light and darkness. A force greater than God and Lucifer coudl imagine. But with strength comes great responsiblity, tedious training, and realization of potentail. His determination, fuled by the love of a mortal, to find his biological parents will lead him to his true pupose in this world.Alright, here are the corrections you want... boen= born coudl= could potentail= potential fuled= fueled or fuelled (depends on how you want to spell it I think) pupose= purpose It's a very interesting beginning. I hope you post the first chapter soon!
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:12 pm
Isn't the fuled supposed to be filled?
It sounds better like that in my opinion.
Anyways, good luck with the rest. Just remember to spell check.
What you can do is paste it on Microsoft Word or some other program that edits grammar, spelling and punctuation. Be sure to re-read it afterwards as well.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:58 am
I like it, though I would like to see more...so when is the first chapter coming out? xp
Very original thinking smile
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Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 5:48 pm
hypocrite.
How dare you insult MY story and then turn around and join the writer's guild? At leats be fair w/ the criticism.
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:20 pm
KirbyVictorious hypocrite. How dare you insult MY story and then turn around and join the writer's guild? At leats be fair w/ the criticism. Eh, I guess that counts as a critique... but I don't think you should talk to someone that way... Should I even ask? confused Well, bottom line is please try to make your critiques more.... valid in the future please.
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 3:47 pm
Hmm, I'm undecided about this one:
Pro: I liked the differences you have added by throwing in the only way this character can be stronger then both God and Lucifer is if he trains hard. (And hard he will!)
Con: Angel and devil type stories where the poor child is on the search for answers as such... I'm a hypocrite because I have my fair share, but it's not very original. I'll bear in mind you've only given... a few lines... that's why I'm undecided.
neutral
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