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 Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 1:13 am
With a FULL ON ATHEIST???
I'm really frustrated. My boyfriend is atheist and he gets really upset when I try to talk to him about my path through wicca or paganism or whateverr.. he thinks its pointless and I'm looking for some sort of "excuse" or reason to act the way I am.
He says that religion is for people who need something to believe in when all else fails and their life is falling apart. Its not how I feel about wicca..he doesn't understand this pull I have towards (and always have since I was around 9 years old) wicca.
I'm sad because I love him, and he doesn't support me. Or believe me when I say that its not a religion for me. . . at least not in the way he defined it. But maybe it is?? More in my Gaia Journal.
There is plenty more personal stuff on this in my journal. Ranting really, so not very interesting. But if you are interested, then you'll have to add me as a friend to view it. Thank you for reading, and please no bashing me for being vulnerable and open to his hurtful words.
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 4:12 am
Hmm. When you talk to him about your path, do you start the conversation or does he?
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 8:07 am
My husband is an agnostic who leans towards atheism. He's skeptical about everything I do.
That's ok. Skepticism is healthy. I'm also skeptical. It keeps you grounded in reality. My husband doesn't have to believe or practice what I do, simply because we're together.
I was raised by an atheist and an agnostic.It gave me a clean slate to explore religion from, but it also taught me that the value of keeping some things to yourself. They did not and were not going to understand what I was experiencing, so I didn't need to share it with them.
What you're experiencing may not be something you can share with your husband. And that's ok. It's your journey, not his. It's important to learn how to keep things to yourself. 'To Keep Silent' is a part of the Witch's Pyramid for a reason.
I want to redirect the conversation here slightly, so forgive me.
What is it about Wicca that pulls you? Why Wicca?
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:41 am
My boyfriend is atheist...more on the line of anti-theist atheist. We make it work. We understand eachothers views only support each other because that is what makes us happy. I don't talk about my religion unless he asks about it or if I warn him about a certain holiday coming up that might weird him out so he has time to get used to it and the things I have to do.
But we make sure to not put down each others beliefs.
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:41 am
Your spiritual path isn't something that you necessarily have to share with your partner. So long as they respect that it's your choice what to believe and you two can get along without agreeing on the meaning or importance of it, you're fine. See what happens if you leave it at that. If he instigates conversations and can't be respectful of it, or makes constant snide comments about it then no, this relationship probably won't work. However, relationships between religious and non-religious people are most certainly possible.
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Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:44 am
I think, as with almost anything in a relationship, it depends heavily on both parties. Some people advise here not to speak with your partner about your path, however for me while I do not expect my partner to be on the same path that i am, being able to communicate with her about things that are important and hold deep meaning to me is essential, and my partner while not a terribly religious person has always been supportive of me. I believe to answer your question, it is possible, but I think in your particular case, it sounds as though your path is too important to you not to want to talk about and he is quite dismissive, one of these things would have to change to make it work.
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:42 am
Quote: What is it about Wicca that pulls you? Why Wicca? I'm not sure really. I was introduced to it at an early age. Elementary with an OLD friend of mine in the same grade. No idea what she's been up to these days cause after she moved out of town, we lost touch. Anyway, she had a few really cool books on wicca and witchcraft, and the occult. No idea HOW she got them, but I read a couple and skimmed through a few. We played around in her room a lot, reading, and drawing little.. and got into Ouja Boards hardcore. I thought it was so much fun, and a thrill too! Lol. I know people can move the little thingy themselves, but I didn't know that back then. Embarrassed thinking about it. I was so pure and honest back then, I had no idea what I was doing or what everyone else using the ouji board might have done. Pushing the arrow or pulling it, and purposely being eerie and scary at some points. Ugh! Damn innocence, I should have seen it coming, but believed everything that happened to me back then. Nothing too crazy, but during those years I felt a connection. I believed it. Later on, Kim (my old friend's name) and I got my sisters and one cousin into magic and ouja boards. We loved the movie The Craft. That was when we really believed in this stuff. x///D Found a book and notes and tried a few things with our inexperience, mostly fun and games outside in my granny's backyard or Kim's yard. I honestly believed that in the wind and change in weather, that we did altar or called a spirit to us. But lyke I said nothing too crazy happened, just subtle things. But I felt something, in my heart and soul. Its still there, a deep longing or need for something more. Understanding? Spiritual Connection? I don't know, but I'm so glad that one day I ran into again after ALL these years.
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 2:07 am
Do you live somewhere rural? If not, you should see if there are any parent groups around where you live. Some cinemas do "mummy matinee" things where you take your young kids along, and I don't know if your country has Plunket or anything, but there may be mother meetups and so on you can ask your kids' doctor for more info about. Even your local church might have some ideas - just ask if they know of any mothers' groups that aren't faith-specific. A local coffee spot might have fliers and stuff for local community events, and there's meetup.com and so on.
Do your kids go to kindy or pre-school? See if you can strike up a friendship with the parents of one of their friends. Next time one of them has a birthday, invite a bunch of kids to the park or something, and you'll have a bunch of potential friends to chat to for a few hours.
Parent meet-up or coffee groups tend to be good places for SAHs with young kids to look for friends, because often they are the same, and bored, and need adult conversation, plus they won't get annoyed by your sprogs. And you'll both want to meet somewhere kid-friendly, and your children can play together while you catch up, and you'll have something in common in that you both have young children.
I think what Morg was asking is: why Wicca specifically?
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 8:05 am
Manifest Doom Anyway, she had a few really cool books on wicca and witchcraft, and the occult. No idea HOW she got them, but I read a couple and skimmed through a few. We played around in her room a lot, reading, and drawing little.. and got into Ouja Boards hardcore. I thought it was so much fun, and a thrill too! Lol. I know people can move the little thingy themselves, but I didn't know that back then. Embarrassed thinking about it. I was so pure and honest back then, I had no idea what I was doing or what everyone else using the ouji board might have done. Pushing the arrow or pulling it, and purposely being eerie and scary at some points. Ugh! Damn innocence, I should have seen it coming, but believed everything that happened to me back then. Nothing too crazy, but during those years I felt a connection. I believed it. Later on, Kim (my old friend's name) and I got my sisters and one cousin into magic and ouja boards. We loved the movie The Craft. That was when we really believed in this stuff. x///D Found a book and notes and tried a few things with our inexperience, mostly fun and games outside in my granny's backyard or Kim's yard. I honestly believed that in the wind and change in weather, that we did altar or called a spirit to us. But lyke I said nothing too crazy happened, just subtle things. But I felt something, in my heart and soul. Its still there, a deep longing or need for something more. Understanding? Spiritual Connection? I don't know, but I'm so glad that one day I ran into again after ALL these years. I really hate to burst your bubble, but nothing you list here is specifically Wiccan in nature. You are attracted by pagan religions, by nature spirits, by magic and by spiritual connections and ouija board games. But none of this is Wicca in and of itself. Wicca is oathbound. It is not published in books or on websites, where the public can access it. It is not given to those not initiated into a lineaged coven. What's out there as such is usually someone's best guess, or worse, someone's totally fake, made-up idea of what Wicca is. You may honestly feel a connection, a pull towards pagan religions and other spiritual practices. But at this point I wouldn't be quick to call it a pull to Wicca. Wicca is a -very- specific thing, and you've had no contact with even the outer edges of Wiccan practice. It very well may be that Wicca isn't what you think it is, and thus isn't going to work for you at all. I'm not trying to discourage you. But you really need to slow down and look at things with clarity. We have a What is Wicca? thread that's absolutely worth the read.
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 8:10 am
Okay. Manifest - I tried to reply to your post. Gaia glitched and it ended up as an edit, not as a separate post. And in doing that, it also ate all of the upper half of your reply. I have tried, but I can't get it back.
I can't seem to unglitch it. emotion_donotwant
I am about to exorcise my desktop computer because it's been stupid like this for weeks. emotion_facepalm
Mea culpa. Apologies all around. Imma go away from this thing now.
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:37 am
Morg, I do that all the time. xd
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