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| What do you think? |
| Horrible. You should be banned from writing ever again. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| ...It was alright I guess... |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Good |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
| Great |
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42% |
[ 3 ] |
| I loved it! you have great talent! |
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14% |
[ 1 ] |
| Other. Please state. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
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| Total Votes : 7 |
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 Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 6:20 am
This was a story I made up from a writing prompt >shudders< in a book full of pictures with a first line. Then you had to make the rest of the story up. (I'm not sure of the guy's name, but the guy that wrote the book was the same guy that wrote the Polar Express. It just had a lot of publicity so some of you might know who it is from that.)
Mr. Linden's Library
He had warned her about the book. Now it was too late. Anita had found it in Mr. Linden's library that morning.
"Put that book down, Anit. That one's off limits," Mr. Linden had said to her.
The book was dark green with shiny gold letters spelling out, "The Deadly Vine." Mr. Linden telling her not to read it only made it more appealing, and twice as mysterious. Anita just had to read that book.
After Mr. Linden had gone to sleep, ANita crept down to the library of the old house and found The Deadly Vine. It seemed to glow as she lifted it off of the shelf. She gently stroked the bright gold lettering. It sparkled and shone. Her fingertips tingled with excitment and anticipation. Quietly, Anita crept back to the room she was staying in.
Anita flipped the switch to the light on her nightstand and her room exploded with a yellow light. She walked to her bed and climbed in. Gingerly, Anita set the book down on the nightstand and pulled her covers up to her waist.
After she was settled into bed, she looked eagerly at The Deadly Vine. She reached for it, and picked it up. Her hands trembled slightly as she lay it down on her bed and opened the cover. A light seemed to shine from the book's very pages.
Anita turned to the first page with real writing on it.
Ye who opens this book beware.
Perils await you who do not close it.
Every hour the covers must shut,
Not to be opened until the next.
Diobeyers beware
Punishments unimaginable will come on you.
Anita was slightly shaken, but disregaurded the threat as nothing more then that; a threat. She turned the page and began reading Chapter 1, A Mysterious Growth. It was about 10:00 pm.
At 10:30, Anita had reached page 50 and was on Chapter 3, The Spreading Vine. Her eyelids drooped. The glow from the book was making her drowsy. She couldn't keep her eyes open. She fell asleep.
10:45 came, the 10:50, then 10:55. ANita was still asleep. The minutes crept by, then seconds. Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one...11:00 pm.
The book shot out a ray of golden light from the pages left open when Anita fell asleep. A rustling sound was heard, like the leaves in the wind. The window to the room flew open. It blew the pages of the book.
Suddenly, the wind became calm. The books pages stopped moving on page 238.
The room became very still and quiet. A dull green light was now creating an aura around the book. The rustling sound became louder. Something was causing the book to move. Long, thin, bendable branches covered with leaves were growing out of the binding of The Deadly Vine.
They grew longer and longer; entwining their way around Anita's arm, growing so long they reached the bed posts. All night they grew, covering Anita, her bed, her entire room. The unsuspecting Anita slept through the entire thing.
Luckily, the vines couldn't get through Anita's closed door to the rest of the house.
When Mr. Linden, in the next room, heard the muffled coughs and groans, he chuckled to himself. He knew that niece of his all too well.
In the mornign, he went to her room and found the book, laying closed on Anita's empty bed. She had been pulled inside that book, just like three of his other nieces, and one of his nephews before her. Every one of his favorite children had taken that book out of his library. The vines came ouot, surrounded them, and then they would take them back into the book. It wasn't that bad of a book. It wasn't a bad place to have to live either. Mr. Linden knew this of course. He had written it. There were some new parts; parts he didn't know. The children being there had created more characters. If you add characters to a story, it's going to change. That was okay with Mr. Linden. HE always had something new to read about. Someday, he would visit them and take them back out to the real world, if they wanted to come.
Mr. Linden's library is full of mysteries. Anita learned one the hard way. As Mr. Linden took The Deadly Vine back to his library, he though, "No one will ever know them all."
Comments? Constructive critizism? This may seem unfair, you don't have to do it...but...if you post, could you rate it from 1-10? Please.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 6:28 am
That was cool. I really liked it, and know how you feel about writing prompts. But this was really good. I liked reading it. It was short but still gave a story. Kind of one of those do want your elders tell you kind of things, but it was very good. I'm now a little tempted to pick up a prompt for the heck of it.
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 6:33 am
Thanks for posting. Even though this one was a writing prompt, I actually enjoyed writing it. If I had been bored with it, and not wanted to write it, it would have sucked. That book had several others that might be cool. I should try another one. I just can't remember what the book was. Do you have any critizism for it? Anything at all?
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:05 am
wow, amazing! I like it! Out of 10, I'll give you a 9^^ (there's some little errors/ typos, but that's it) heart
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:14 am
Thanks for replying to me. I really do appriciate it when people take the time out of their days to read my stuff. I'm glad you like it biggrin
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:56 pm
Oh my gosh! Did you write this for any writing contest? We had one at my school and I picked this one! Wow, that was cool.
I think you did a really good job with it. You did a great job of staying true to the picture also! I'd give it an 8 or 9- it was a very enjoyable read, but it seemed rushed at the end, as if you had a word limit and needed to finish quickly. Other than that, I thought it was great!
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 6:36 am
I didn't write it for a contest; it was an English assignment. Thanks for replying. I don't know about the end. It's been the same way for a while and it would be kind of wierd to change it. There wasn't a limit or anything, I just made it stop...I don't know....
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:14 pm
eek surprised Hey, I did that for an English assignment. Very strange... sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:42 pm
I really liked that ^.^ In a way, it reminded me of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe o_O Dunno why. It was good, though.
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 2:13 pm
I loved it! Very creative! You should write more chapters, increase the story! Nice to see you active again, Merry, nice to see you...
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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:23 pm
Woah. Very good. Creative and definatly not cliched. I always like it when you get a urprise ending! xd
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 1:48 pm
I've just reread this and realized that it sounds a bit like Inkheart. Just a bit, but a bit at that. I hadn't read that book when I wrote this piece. Very interesting . . .
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:00 pm
I like the concept and idea of the story, but I think it's a bit lacking in some places. 8/10 [Ten being the best, I'm taking it. If one is the best, then you have a two. >< Yeah.]
Such as description - this peice would reallyreally be enhanced with the proper desciption, giving us detail on the vines, more so on the book, the glow, and so on. Or the characters. Esspecially the characters. They could reallyreally use a full body detail on them.
Also, you have justa few grammatical errors.
Other then that, it's an amazing peice. <3
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 10:19 pm
As far as technicalities go, you only have a few minor ones to brush up on. One case of "Double Capping" ("ANita"), and a few tweaks of grammer. Though those minor typographical mistakes did not do anything to hamper the over-all story....
Which, I'll have to agree with 20 Shades of Crazy on. This introduction paves the grounds to what would look like a very interesting surrealist fantasy piece, and something that would add alot of dimension to it would be more of a vivid elaboration on....everything. I felt as if there weren't enough details being described to everything - no clear mental image came up onto what Mr. Linden or Anita. Adding more visual description to the characters, and to the actions that happen within the story, will add an over-all more depth to the piece. Which, in my humble opinion, is a characteristic of a good fantasy story.
Draw the reader in to a whole new world that they could never have imagined before. Detail vivid descriptions to allow the reader to imagine as if they could be in such a surreal fantastic setting, dissolving the boundaries of both dream and reality. That would be my advice to you.
As it stands right now, on a numerical score, I give it 7 / 10.
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 9:39 am
I liked it. It was short, but that is why they're called "short stories", I guess. There were a few typos, and personally I would've preferred a bit of character discription, but all in all it had a good story line and kept me interested.
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