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 Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 2:45 am
WARNING! Please be advised, the contents of this thread may be unsuitable or offensive to some readers.
The views expressed in this thread are those of Ixus Naugus, and are not neccesarily shared by A Cup Of Tea: THE GUILDokay, i declare this my offical rant room...if i got a rant, i'll put it here from now on... also, i'm thinking of making a webcomic...but i have no idea what to do or where to start...suddenly cyberspace has become an enigma... anyway, time to start on my first rant session in meh new thread... feel free to pm me what you think of my rants..cuz...yeah, i dont get many pm's...woe and stuff...blah please keep conversations to a minimum, as i wish to keep this thread in order, and want the rants to be easy to find, as they might not always be as huge as my first one was. unneccesary stuff will eventually be deleted as a result of my need for near-perfection (it doesnt mean you cant comment, but dont expect the comments to remain) 3nodding "i must rant about it, because i feel as though everyone else is ignoring or even denying the problems going on in the world...deep down even unto my very soul, i feel as though i must cram these words down the necks of the world's idiots and beat some sense into them...and beating sense into someone happens to be a very effective stress reliever, mind you..." Ixus Naugus
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 3:14 am
RANT SESSION #01 -- Creole in Cowboy Territory
okay, so it's been a while since New Orleans was flooded and people traded rusted Fords and Chevy's for the bass boats normally attached to the rear of said trucks (which now likely have a thicker layer of rust and smell even worse inside than ever before), but there were a lot of Louisiana folk who came over to Texas, and that's where we shall turn our attention...to Texas, the best damn state in the union, at least if you need to hire a gardener who may or may not be and illegal immigrint, but let's save that rant for another time...
so the out of state visitors have bolstered the local economy (and yet again LESS jobs for middleclass white people, those poor bastards are offically boned now that the buissness ad section of the newspaper seems a little thin), yeah, good news, but they brought the trash with them along with the "economic-happy-making" munneh...now we have some out of state gangs taking root in the streets, and quite a few racists, trouble makes, rapists, murderers, child molesters, and other such useless figures of society (i'd likely approve of the murderers if they took care of the stupid people, but noooo, they gotta kill random people in parking lots late at night)...on the plus side, the gangs are gonna start getting a little thin due to turf wars, but i reccomend keeping your little old ladies inside so that the dont get a cap in their artifical hip...if the baiyou gangs wanna mess around in a state with more than 200k+ heavily armed Texas gentlemen, that's their problem...they'll likely avoid the densely red-neck populated areas if they fear for their life, and they should avoid the greater Dallas area alltogether...
...and now to bring up the fact that New Orlenes was filled with morons...did you know that they kept the back-up generators in the basement? in a city below sea level? and now they gotta ask they disaster relief guys for some more diesel generators...let's pray these people dont reproduce, i have a feeling there quite a bit of inbreeding going on over there to make the gene pool completely stagnant...perhaps a few mistakes were made with a first cousin on Marde Gras...but seriously, if they rebuild New Orleans and dont put the generators on the roof this time, they should flood the place again and pour a few hundred tons of quick-dry cement in and just start over and build on the resultant new foundation...
that's enough for today, cuz i dont feel like talking about the "fine roadkill cuisine"...i think i'll skip breakfast this morning, as an image of a bloated possum just passed through my mind xp
oh, and gaia needs spell check...hmm, i fear i left a few hanging sentences somewhere...
POLL FOR THIS TOPIC
welcome to my world, i suggest you find an M60 light machine gun for protection
GYAAAHH!!! ZOMBIE HORDE!!! *SPLAT!*
50% [ 5 ]
EEEK!!! NAZI SNIPER!!! *SPLURT!*
0% [ 0 ]
awww, look, a puppy, isnt he just adora-- OH GAWD HE'S DEVOURING MY FACE AAAAH!!! *face tearing sounds followed by death gurgle*
50% [ 5 ]
Total Votes : 10
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:52 am
RANT SESSION #2 -- MIDGETS!
Okay, so we all know about midgets, thier small size, their crazy antics, how they cant get good jobs so they settle for dangerous canival attraction...If you dont know that then you've never seen one launched out of a cannon...Them some krazy azz mutherf**kers...But as of late, they seem to have dissapeard from society...I havent met a midget on the street in over 8 years, though it might help if I got out of the house once in a while ninja
Ya gotta give it up for the little people, it's hard for them to find jobs...it's not like they can waltz int the local Wal-Mart and expect a job, cuz theres no way they could stock the upper shelves...Though it would be better on fellow employees backs if he stocked the bottom ones...Ya wont see one worken at McDonalds, they cant exactly reach the counter, though haveint one work the drive through window would be an interesting suprise.
Even Hollywood, the last know refuge for jobless midgets, has turned theyre backs on them! Remember Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? the real stars were the Oompa Loompas, but in the recent remake, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Oompa Loompas were CG edit!!! MOTHERF**KERS!!! You have no idea how much it pisses me off, I wanted to see little men in funny costumes dance around and sing with funny voices (err, voiceovers...), and perhaps a behind-the-scenes look of them in the break room drinking coffee, excanging old war stories, telling how a huge crack deal went wrong and they had to gun down 20 guys in a heated firefight, how they beat an ancient kung fuu master in unarmed combat somewhere in the Tibetin Mountains...Okay, okay, so ive got a bit of an overactive imagination, but I guarantee you that a midget doing any of those roles in an action movie would be awesome, and I would SO want to see that movie, and then rabidly wait at Blockbuster for the DVD release, drooling all the while...A midget Vin Diesel, totally awesome...
Well, I guess that concludes the rage and insanity portion of my rant. Ya know, i once knew a midget couple, nice folks, they only went to about waist level...They had a 7-foot-tall son...That must be where all the midgets went, they dissapeared to go off and make basketball players...
Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompa!
That sounds dirty...
57% [ 4 ]
I once saw footage of midgets wrestling in chocolate, and it was the first time in my life i was afraid of midgets...
14% [ 1 ]
Midgets are aerodynamicly superior to us, and theyre lighter, which is why they fly so well when shot out of cannons!
28% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 7
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:53 am
RANT SESSION #3 -- OH NOES! POLITICS!! d**k & BUSH!!!
okay, if the first thing you think when you hear "Bush and Cheney" is "this is the one instace where 'd**k' and 'bush' can be used in the news without censoring" then you might need to spend less time with me...incedentally, thats the first thing i thought when they went into office...
now, not many people would guess that i'm a conservative republican (oh noes!), but i am...that doesnt mean i'm gonna back the presidents action and kiss his a** like it was made of candy, but i'm not gonna say every move he made was a bad one...ironicly i cant think of a single smart move he's made...
this may become quite a long rant, so get some coffee, we'll be here awhile...
let's look at some of the good things he's done...umm...he went after Saddam...it was a good decision in my book, cuz the media has reported that there was radioactive wastes, chemical weapons, and such nasty stuff discovered...then the media turned around five seconds later saying the war was unjustified because no weapons were found...something foul is afoot, and you cant really trust the government nor the media anymore...
i'll admit we've lost a lot of people in the war, but normally the casualtiys in a war are much higher...the number of men we've lost is nowhere near as bad as the Vietnam conflict...which brings me to another point, we support our troops proudly, but those who fought in Vietnam were found themselves desised when they returned home. i feel so ashamed of our nation for that. we're nothing more than a gaggle of hypocrites.
i've met President Bush in person before, and he was a pretty sound guy, but he's changed completely. i certainly never noticed any stutter before...my theory is that he has alzheimer's or a toumor, and i've noticed he seems to be getting worse...i hope he doesnt end up creatiing a stereotype that all Texans are bumbling idiots, cuz we get enough of that already. i'll have you know that i was born and raised here in Texas, and i have a 180+ IQ, i am a perfect gentleman, i dont have an unusual obsession with oil, and i dont own a ranch...though i live near quite a few. i am good at procrastinating though, but Bush seems to turn that trait into an artform.
oh well, back to the subject at hand...
now it's time to look at Bush's mistakes...first was that he turned a blind eye to Korea's nuclear program...i wont go into details, but i fear we're gonna pay for that eventually...but perhaps i'm just a little jumpy at the fact that more nukes are being made...and readied for launch...maybe i'm the only one worried about this...but why would someone go through all the trouble of reseaching and buiding nukes just to let it all go stagnant...but perhaps i'm just suspicious by nature.
Halliburton...the govenment pays more for a single paperclip than i pay for a Sam's Choice soda at the coke machines at the front of the local Wal-Mart... 'nuff said.
the oil companys are raising the price for gas faster and faster, but theres no real need for it, we have plenty of oil, regardless of the fact that we're supposed to be getting some from the middle east, though i dont know if we are or not, it doesnt matter... the oil companies are more powerful than Bill Gates... my mother knew a guy who designed a car that seated 4 and got 60 miles to the gallon, and an oil company bought the rights to it...where's the car? just what the hell is going on?!
and finnaly, Bush turns a blind eye to the fact that our country is no longer self-sufficient, jobs are being outsorced, and the Arab nations own most of our docks...does anyone else notice our gapeing weakness, or am i the only one in the nation who see's the tactical and economic disadvantages? hell, i aint even gonna bother with this subject for fear my bloodpressure will skyrocket and cause my head to explode.
now to talk about d**k Cheney... don't really have much to say aout him...i dont trust him...but he shot a lawyer, and regardless as to whether or not it was an accident, i'll give an applause to that little incident.
and so ends an overly long political rant by Ixus Naugus...and i pray i never have to do another like this again!...HMPH! as if i should be so lucky! stare
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Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:22 pm
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Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:49 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:36 pm
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