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 Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 9:04 am
Please ctitique this short story ... I wrote it back in like, 8th grade ... it's totally words and thoughts, no actions ... and I hate it but I've had a lot of people praise me for it. So please, let me know.
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Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 9:05 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 5:34 pm
Alright. The only thing that I would change is how it jumps around a lot to where the reader is really confused at some points as to how the story got there.
But, on the other hand, the fact that the story jumps around so much also helps in the feeling because that's what thoughts are really like. Maybe just tone it down in some places like when she's suddenly on the rode and hitting the tree after just going up the stairs.
Besides that, it's really good. You could turn it into a novel if you made it a little less confusing at times and wrote about what happened to Allison after death.
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Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 10:22 pm
I'm afraid due to lack of critiques I will have to lock this thread. Please go back and read the rules, then follow them. Once you have done so I will unlock this thread again. Please send me a PM once you have made your critiques (or if I have made a mistake, which it is possible I could have) and I will unlock this thread once the time limit is up. Thank you.
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