Welcome to Gaia! ::

The Plague Doctor

Back to Guilds

A guild for a dark fantasy B/C thread. 

 

Reply TENTATIVE CANDIDATES ❧ semi-customs and character approvals
[Q] René and his dearest Adora

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit


Sara Draconia


Wheezing Loiterer

PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:23 am


This belongs to Ninjagami Ryo Kage - a quest



Ⅰ Intro
Ⅱ Grimm
Ⅲ Plague
Ⅳ Reserved
Ⅴ Reserved
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 2:39 pm


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.Character name: René Locke
Age: 27
Favorite Color: Greenish Blue
Region: Panymium Imisus Gadu
Likes: Quiet, family, cooking, and reading
Dislikes:Fighting, death, idleness, and tight constraints
Occupation: Professor of Science at Trisica, researching lung disease and miasma.
Intended Faction Council of Scientists
Parents: Alive and on talking terms but haven't spoken since Anika passed while they visited them. They own a little bit of land that his
Relationship: Angelique Locke: Married. Angelique is very quiet but always seems to know what to say when she speaks up. She picks things up quickly and is always curious to learn more, especially once she met René. When she met him, he realized how beautiful she was when she spoke her mind and made herself important in conversations. It was because of her that René gained the courage to join the council and rise in it's ranks. Things have become a bit strained since Anika passed and Adora replaced her in René's eyes according to Angelique. She quieted down and closed up a bit, there are times which she opens up and tries to talk to René like she did before the passing of their daughter. She doesn't want things to end badly but at the same time it pains her to see how he treats Adora as she was his little girl.

Personality:
René's ability to stay calm has helped him become open minded and flexible. Change comes easily for him and he accepts it with open arms in order to make everyone happy, including himself. His flexibility doesn't only help with change, but it helps him communicate and empathize with people from every class and social status. He is kind to everyone he meets unless they are bad news to him or those around him. He keeps calm in any situation that arises in order to deal with it quickly so that there are less problems that might come out of it.
He sometimes sometimes has moments in which his smile fades and it becomes apparent that Anika's death still haunts him. It takes very specific situations to shake him up since he has gotten sturdier over the years as he kept to his duties as a councilman and a professor. He also tends to take anything related to his work seriously as he strives to find some type of cure or way to stop the spread of death and disease. This is good for progress at times but Adora and Angelique worry about how if it may affect his health when he stays up late working on things, more so than he did while he was only a student at the university.
René is always there to aid others in need if he can in a reasonable way. He lets people know if he may or may not be at his office and gives them where he may be found if they need him,which happens when he decides to spend some time reading in the library at the University. He is very timely when people ask for favors or are expecting to meet him because he makes sure that the schedule is fitting for him and the person asking for assistance. He constantly writes down important dates and things on his agenda so that he remembers and also so that he can keep things in order as he rushes around every day.


Appearance: Very tall, dark reddish brown hair which is a bit wavy and disheveled from him constantly running his fingers through it while thinking of things. He has hazel eyes which tend to have slight bags under them from his random sleep schedule. He wears simple clothes with his sash.

Business versus Casual: René keeps things serious and focused when dealing with students and other teachers. He rarely tolerates distractions in his lectures or in his labs. He isn't particularly harsh but he really dislikes those who aren't serious about being a student at Trisica. Outside of the University is where René opens up and relaxes, a bit. He often goes on tangents when given the chance to talk about the things he enjoys. He used to spend a lot of time with Angelique as they would talk about theories and ideas but that is a scarce activity as of late.

Faction Feelings: René feels a bit sad for the mages but at the same time he does have a bit of interest into their work. He believes in science but at the same time there are certain things that can't be explained by science. He won't go as far as to research deeply and seriously into the topic of magic but that doesn't go to say that he wants to know a bit more for comparisons sake.

Honestly some of the Cultists scare René but he does appreciate the fact that not all cultists are extreme. He has doubts about their ideas as well but would rather not argue with them over it for various reasons.

History: As a child, he was intended to be sent to Trisica to obtain a higher level of education just as his father had years before in rhetoric. His mother always agreed with the father but did go easier on him as he grew up at his own pace. She had patience and understanding while his father had expectations and disappointment. He spent a lot of his childhood learning about science from his father, because it was the one topic that interested him, and preparing himself for his future since it had already been decided. He would become a professor or merchant like his father had. He had a few years in which he wanted to go against his families wishes but, he realized that Trisica could open doors and opportunities to him even more so than being a merchant could.

He began as a simple student in the council but over years he attended Trisica University and expanded his knowledge in various subjects. He keep detailed notes and proceeded to excel in his studies as well as making friends of a few professors and other members of the council who spent their time in the university. He learned some of the jargon as well as the issues they talked about over the years. He took a lot of interest in the department of math but also was interested in all of the other studies as well.

During his time there he met a woman who would, over the years, become his wife. They had met in one of the hallways and fell in love as they spoke of the theories and methods he spoke of from his classes. They shared a lot of similar characteristics and views on many things. They lived happily as he continued attending the university. He would often read some of his notes to her and add more to them as she would as for clarification and add questions he may not have thought of previously. She was very intelligent and he loved that about her, she also always had a smile on her face as well as an optimistic outlook on life.

A year after they were married, their daughter was born. She was beautiful and kind with enough curiosity for the whole family. She often followed her father around and sat with him as he worked on experiments or wrote. He taught her a bit of what he worked on while she sat and watched, sometimes it would put her to sleep. Angelique often helped explain things to her as well since she knew a bit from the notes René had shown to her over the years. Everything was perfect they thought as they both taught their daughter about René's studies. Unfortunately she grew ill with tuberculosis and caught the plague when René brought her to his parents' house. Leaving his handkerchief tainted with the plague.

This left René and his wife in mourning. Both René and Angelique took it badly, a void slowly grew between them after Anika died due to the fact that René dove deeper into his work and almost forgot about his wife. She had caught some sort of disease which started silently and progressed leaving her with shortness of breathe and high levels of fatigue. He continued deeper into his studies in an effort to try and prevent other children from meeting the same fate as his daughter. He continues to this day looking for some way to prevent this most terrible pain for others. Angelique stands by him but she rarely smiles nowadays because she feels as though she has lost them both she occasionally works on her own studies alongside his work so that she can try to join the council as well one day.


Sara Draconia


Wheezing Loiterer



Sara Draconia


Wheezing Loiterer

PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 2:40 pm


User ImageName: Adora
Item: Handkerchief
Alignment: Servos
Gender: Female
Personality:

Adora is very quiet but most definitely not shy, she just refuses to speak up at times which can be a problem when trying to talk to someone who isn't right next to her. She believes that if they really wanted to listen that she wouldn't have to speak up. At the same time she finds it hard to say what she wants, especially when there are more than one or two other people around her. René has gotten her to speak up to him on occasion due to the fact he gets drawn into his readings very deeply. She does try and talk to Angelique at times but it ends up being a zone of quiet understanding.

Adora always gets into things whether it's sneaking into lectures or staying up all night looking though books while René sleeps. She strives to learn more to try and maybe help René with his research. Unfortunately she is also stubborn with her newly learned knowledge and tends to think almost everything she reads is true. This sometimes can be good but when the facts are false or not all that strong, it ends up confusing her when she picks up something that contradicts her previous knowledge.

She has occasionally butted head with René over many topics but in the end it's usually best for the both of them because it strengthens one or the others argument and knowledge. This somewhat annoys René at times but he does understand her enthusiasm and enjoys having conversations with her. This does not mean that he won't occasionally stop her mid sentence and try to get his point in at times. Angelique feels a little saddened by Adora because she reminds her so much of Anika, she wishes that her daughter will not be replaced by the little plague but isn't sure if that will happen or not.

Unlike René, Adora just has no patience at all with things. Everything seems fleeting to her ever since she started learning about how many diseases can quickly kill people. She often rushes with things which can lead to mistakes and scalding from René as well as her friends. She means well in rushing things along but she doesn't really get the whole slow and steady deal that René has with his studies and work. In fact it kind of frustrates her at times when they have to sit and watch something boil on a low heat for hours on end. So she continues to be impatient and insists that her ways are better especially when working on little crafts or taking notes in her version of shorthand.

In some ways he has taught her to slow down and wait while she in turn has taught him that some things can be done a bit quicker. René worries about her impatience because he fears that one day something may happen to her that he can't fix or help with. Angelique has made more progress teaching the small plague to slow down than René has made. This is probably due to the fact that Angelique is a little more distant and closed off to Adora while René is warmer to the small plague.
Adora seeks to help others, mostly René and Angelique though because she hasn't been able to get out much. It just feels right to her to help others because she feels like very few people will extend a hand to help those in fear of getting sick. This is apparent in her never ending goal to help cure people who are sick and dying. It is also apparent in her attempts to help Angelique with things around the house when René is at the university or with students.
René encourages her to continue with her goal to help those and helps her while she helps him. He treats her like his little girl and often volunteers to help her with things that she is trying to help others with. Angelique does like this about her but at the same time it hurts because Adora is such a sweet little Plague and it reminds her of what Anika was like when she was alive.



Feelings:
Adora enjoys being around René, she wants to help him out as well as others in general. In a way she looks up to him like a father and really does care about his well being and research. There are times when she takes care of René in a motivational sense but most of the time he takes care of her and protects her. There are times it bothers her that he is so protective of her because she wants to go out and explore or sneak around the university without him. There are also times when she does get into trouble that she wishes he was there to help her.

She also cares about Angelique but is nervous around her because she doesn't quite understand just yet why Angelique is so distant and cold to her at times. She wants Angelique to like her but she isn't sure how to go about it. She does understand Angelique's worry sometimes though, especially on nights where René stays up without eating or sleeping. There have been times that she has taken things that Angelique has said and repeated them to René in order to get him to take a break or to take care of himself during the times that he pulls back into his thoughts instead of paying attention to the outside world.

Being the remnant of Anika hurts her at times but the way René is to her makes the pain fade. She is caught between two feelings though, she wants to know if he cares for her because she is a memento or because he just actually cares for her. This ties into her view of other scientists in a way, she is curious if they are interested in her because of what she is or who she was. She understands that some humans mean well but there are probably those whose intentions aren't in the best interest of everyone else.

She wants to meet other Grimms and Plagues to see what type of people they are. She does want to be slightly cautious in case they bump into people who may want to do harm to either of them.


Feelings About Factions:


Adora admires the way the Council works, she wants to do her best to help them and maybe one day be able to lecture in the halls like René. She wants to learn more about Theology instead of Science or Math since that is all she knows about from René.

Mages seem interesting to her but she only knows a little bit about them, she wants to learn more but she is a bit nervous about going about it.

The Obscurvos make her feel a bit odd, she has heard about their theories and some of them scare her to tears at times. She does understand that not all of the members are like that but she wants to shy away from them if at all possible.

Item history: The handkerchief was made by his wife and had spent a lot of time in his coat pocket while at the university or in the lab. She made it as a gift for him when he neared his graduation. It was simple and small, allowing it to fit in his pocket perfectly.

Over the years he kept it close and passed it down to his daughter when she was ill, he often wiped her nose or gave it to her when she needed to cough. At first he thought it was just a small cough due to dust from reorganizing things. If he had known otherwise he would not have taken her along to his parents' house. While they were running errands he noticed that there were a few people who were ill a little way out from where his parents lived. Unfortunately he did not notice what was going on until after Anika had gotten infected through some of the small coughing children that walked by their own parents who were in the small town.

He realized that something was seriously wrong with his little girl the first time she coughed up blood. The disease she had at first was Tuberculosis which left her system weakened while they road to the countryside, he knew she had little time left once she was infected with the plague even though he did not realize until later she had been sick with Tuberculosis. He stood by as best he could to try and ease his daughter's pain even though it ate at him to see her like this at such a young age. The inky blackness began to infect the white handkerchief as Anika's sickness worsened quickly. It only took four days for her to die from the plague. The handkerchief fell from her hand as she passed, René picked it up and placed it near her. He knew it had been infected as well due to a small black taint that stained the centre of the handkerchief. It was his duty to bring it back to the university to study it but part of him inside was relived as well because he could keep this memento from his daughter

For awhile the handkerchief sat on his desk as a memory since he and his wife were both devastated by their loss. It took a few months for him to walk into Anika's room without feeling a strong pain in his heart but once his sorrow diminished, he realized that he had to try his best to prevent this from happening to other children or adults. He decided to keep the handkerchief for a few different reasons, the most important one being that it had what Anika had. He could test the handkerchief and study it in order to try and prevent the death of other children or people. He also kept it because it was the only thing left of his young and bright daughter who was taken from him at such a young age. Angelique agreed with him mostly but the memory of her little girl being sick follows through with the handkerchief in her mind.
Concept Info: Maybe like the handkerchief as a dress? Not really sure on too much.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 2:43 pm


Plot Goals~
René and Adora: Adora wants to find out if the reason he cares so much is due to the fact she is a memento or jsut because she exists in general. It will waver back and forth on her mind until she finds an answer. René wants to raise her right and to help her with her endevours but he is quite protective at the moment since she is still quite small and easy to lose track of.

Angelique and Adora: Angelique may eventually warm up to Adora once they begin talking about their mutual questions about René and their parts in events to come in the future. There still will always be a bit of an awkwardness to their conversations though because Adora came from Anika.

Angelique and René: Tension has built up recently due to Adora as well as the fact that he has put almost all of his time into his work and doesn't really talk with her much about the things they used to. Things may or may not break down more unless René starts getting her hints or if he finishes his research.

Adora and the University: Adora wants to study Theology as well as other non math based courses so she can expand her knowledge in different directions.

Plagues: I kinda want Adora to meet some Plagues that are nice but also some that might not be the best influences on her. Maybe she can learn a thing or two and slowly think about getting out a lot more places besides the University and her home.

Grimms: Adora wants to meet different kinds of people as well so that she can learn about a wider variety of views and ideals since the only ones she knows are from René and Angelique.



Sara Draconia


Wheezing Loiterer



Sara Draconia


Wheezing Loiterer

PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 2:45 pm


A lonely handkerchief flutters from dear Anika's hand, tainted black by the very cause of her death.
PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2013 7:02 pm


( sorry about the delay, my mind has been literally a thousand places at once oh my god )

OFFICIAL CRIT 3

I'm going to get down to the nitty gritty with this crit. My previous ones centered around attempts to flesh the characters out and make them a more solid presence in the world. Part of this included you reaching out to the Council manager in some way to get further assistance on how to make Rene not only a proper scientist but also a recognizable professor at Trisica University, which to my knowledge was not accomplished. Remember, if a staff member cannot be reached on Skype for a back and forth then they are always available for a PM. This is rather vital information since Rene's position as a professor at Trisica puts him at a position where he is a role model and mentor to students within the Council, which means you'll need as much information as possible on his chosen discipline and the goings on of Trisica.

Unrelated, but it seems I've made a mistake! I flubbed and forgot that the funding the Council is receiving from the House is a secret except to those of high rank. This was entirely my fault, but please remove it and remedy Rene's opinion of the House as necessary.

Now, onto both characters, I believe I suggested before that it would be a good idea to consolidate all of their personality traits into a single section. It may appear less organized but it actually gives you more freedom; people aren't just a few set quirks, after all, and your characters should be just that -- people. Each time you add a new section it makes things look more cluttered and actually difficult to read as a result.

Furthermore, on personality traits, neither Rene nor Adora have particularly notable flaws! At least, none that seem intentional or are given the amount of weight they should. For example, there actually appear to be strong contradictions in Rene's personality. He's described as reliable but sinks far enough into depression that he will physically lock himself away from others. If he's to be a reliable professor, scientist, or person, then he needs to make himself available. Just because he has the desire to help others doesn't mean he's reliable in that venture when he gets overwhelmed to the point where it could (and should) impact his work. There's also the very important matter of Rene being a scientist within the Council whose main purpose and function is to deal with disease. Of course it can become overwhelming but if he's reached his current position then he ought to be sturdier because they deal with effects of the disease hands on every day.

Alternatively, Adora is extremely passive. She doesn't leave much of an impression and 'stubborn' seems to be her only flaw but, even then, she doesn't appear stubborn enough for it to really constitute as one. Taking everything she's read or told as fact is a neat trait that doesn't receive any expanding, that's definitely something to hold onto, but for the rest Adora falls fairly flat and it's clear Rene outshines her. Her impatience is another flaw that is underwhelming; the description starts off strong and accurate but then Rene and Angelique's influences to make her slow down immediately lessen the impact of this flaw, they water it down, so it comes off as wishy washy. Don't be afraid to give her personality a solid punch, that's what makes characters stand out!

Further still, there's Angelique who is also an extremely passive presence. There could be a lot of internal conflict and dissension, a lot of confused feelings regarding Adora's relationship to Anika and Rene's treatment of her but Angelique, while worried, just seems to take everything quietly. She's practically a non-entity. While she has obvious discomforts she just keeps silent about all of them and that doesn't really do anything to progress the story or her relationships with her husband and his plague. Expanding on her further would be greatly suggested.

There's also several points I'm largely confused on; I still don't quite understand what Rene and his family's social standing is. I recall us discussing it and you settling on him NOT being a noble but I don't really see any distinction, no description of home life or duties or land or anything.

There's a mention of another disease besides the two Anika contracted and I believe it's in reference to Angelique (the one where she was fatigued and short of breath?) but it's extremely unclear. We also need to know precisely what disease it is, even if the characters do not.

On the topic of Anika's two diseases, I need to just confirm (and please make this clear in the profiles); did she contract tuberculosis and, while the disease ate away at her and lowered her immune system, then subsequently became infected with the plague which killed her? The wording almost makes it seem like the tuberculosis went away so I just wanted to make absolutely certain I was reading that correctly.

Regarding her contraction of the plague, it needs to be clear how she got it because the black plague is not an isolated disease and the Council, especially its center in Gadu, does not have any outbreaks. They've managed to contain it. Depending on where Rene's family lived (the poorer sections of the city?) then it would be easier for Anika to become infected but if she was then she, her family, and their home would quickly be quarantined to prevent the spread of infection. If even one area in Gadu became infected, because it's such a large and populated city, it could easily spread and wipe out the major population, so the Council is ruthless in ensuring each minor outbreak is contained and stamped out. It's perfectly acceptable that she perish of the plague but there needs to be a solid reason for her to acquire it. If no solid reason can be provided but you still wish for her to meet her end to keep the character dynamics then, since she already has a fatal disease, I might suggest she die of her tuberculosis and the handkerchief be infected in some other manner.

As this is the final crit, please do adjust your thread accordingly and staff will get back to you soon with a final verdict.

Snoofington
Vice Captain

Merry Krampus

Reply
TENTATIVE CANDIDATES ❧ semi-customs and character approvals

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum