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 Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 12:20 am
I'm mtf trans and pansexual. i never really considered my sexuality a big deal because i knew people would take me not being straight better then not being cis gendered. so since i was 13 i just went with the policy that if any one asked i would tell them the truth but i wasn't going to broadcast it because it didn't really matter to me if people knew.
the trans thing however, that was a different deal entirely. i spent a good half of my life terrified someone would figure out somehow just from the faintest hint and any feminine quality or action. i intentional stood a certain way, i avoided certain topics and even words, i went to far as to talk in as deep as a voice as i could since i had an oddly high pitched voice. it was miserable.
over the Christmas break of my junior year i decided to stop with this charade of a life and do something. the first person i ever came out to was one of my teacher. she was a huge part of my life at the time. i was in both the clubs she was the supervisor of and i saw her literally every day after school for sometimes north of 5 hours on some days. she even drove me home alot and had really interesting conversations with me. coming out to her first was probably the best things i could have done. she was not only fine with it she actually put together a huge packet of information and resources for me under her own volition,
over the course of the next few month i came out to a lot of my friends one by one. first people i only kinda knew and wouldn't care there response, all to practice for the my closer friends and ultimately my parents. almost everyone i told was somehow fine with it, or really just didn't care at least.
for the longest time i really didn't want to tell my parents but i in the end felt like i had to since i wanted to be put on hormones and wasn't 18 yet so needed there consent. so i told them.
i told my dad first because i thought he would be more accepting, all he said was "no you aren't" and walked away and didn't speak to me for a week. i never really told my mom. even though my parents are divorced and rarely speak my dad called her and told her before i could, when i was in the car with her alone she told me she knew and then proceeded to yell at me for 3 hours all while keeping me trapped in the care with her. she spoke as if i had no idea what i was even talking about and had no idea what a sex change even was. in the end she told me she didn't care what i did with my life as long as it didn't involve her with all this. my dad how ever to talk the next month to try and convince me i was wrong. at one point saying he found someone who could "fix" me and told me to consider going with him there.he even said he things that all this wasn't my idea and that i'm being manipulated into thinking all this. he still thinks it till this day and refuses to admit im trans.he talked about me about is "son" dieing before his eyes.
i still get along well with my parents as long as me being trans isn't brought up. my dad has seemed to cheer up a bit when i started dating my now girlfriend. it gets confusing sometimes when we are all together with my gf calling me her and Jenny and my dad and brother still calling me him and Jeremey. oh yeah i forgot to mention my brother, and also forgot to tell my brother too... it must have been strange for him me just kinda turning into a girl with absolutely no context. yeah i'm not the best sister...
well anyway that's my story. it didn't go great but could have been a lot worse.
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:46 am
I think that's a normal reaction from most parents...it's not that they really have something against your choice but more that they fear how society will react to it, it's not an easy life being different, they just want to protect you and you're probably young so it's normal for them to thing it's just a phase, but they should also keep in mind that maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Maybe you should just take it easy, experiment, see what works for you, there's no need to rush and label yourself as trans, gay, bi etc., those are just words, defining and refining who you really are takes time. If you need someone to talk to, it's better to turn to the lgbtq community for acceptance and support than to your parents if their initial reaction was more on the negative side. heart
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