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 Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 11:22 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 9:28 am
Its good, but I find that it starts off WAY too fast, its like balck water... BOOM, attack!!! How did this Queor guy get the water? Why does he want to take over the kingdom? Its really confusing, usually authors start off the book slowly, describing things so that the readers will understand and will be able to follow along easily. I mean you hardly introduced the characters and why they are doing what they are doing, unless you are going to do that in the next chapter, try to add some more details to things. I would also find that a map would make things less confusing, but you can't put one on that site can you?
And that is my comment and my thoughts 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 11:34 pm
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