Serena Delmont
Tonight I was at my parents house and they were talking bout this show on television and my father said some slurs about a homosexual couple, then kept going and going. I am a girl who is still yet to come out to anyone in my real life and this has become extremely discouraging due to these things that were said by one of the people I trust the most in my entire life. What should I do...? Should I come out but try to keep it to my mom? Should I keep it to my friends at first? I really need this advice, this is eating me inside...
This advice is based on the assumption you don’t depend on your parents for money, food, shelter, etc.
First off, have a support group. Come out to your friends that you know will accept you no matter what. Having support in the case something goes awry when/if you tell your parents will be very beneficial.
Secondly, you could assess your parent’s opinion on being gay by making up a story about a friend coming out, or asking them for advice for a friend who came out and wants to tell their family. I did that with my dad, unfortunately his response was pretty neutral, and so it didn’t help much.
Thirdly, if you decide to confide just in your mom, be aware of the possibility that she’ll tell your dad soon after. My mom did that, even though I made it clear to her that I wasn’t ready for him to know at the time. She did the same when I started talking to my ex-girlfriend – immediately ran to my dad to tell him even though I didn’t care for him to know.
Lastly, live your life. They are your parents and they should love you regardless, but if they want to reject you for being you, that's their loss. You shouldn't let something so trivial hold you back and eat at you. It's soul sucking. I’m kind of in a similar situation with my grandparents. I currently live with them while going to college. My grandma asked me if I thought it was sick that two guys were kissing on a TV show not long after I moved in – I rolled my eyes and said no, which made her go silent lol. I won't come out to them until I either finish school or find a cheap enough apartment for my friend and me to rent. It sucks, but better safe than sorry.
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