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Okay so first off if you cant handle sad things/ pain please not xD

So about 6 years ago is when I came out.

I was in middle school, 8th grade, but by then I knew I had feelings towards men and no feelings towards women anymore. I just never knew how my parents nor brothers would react to my gayness. The closet I hid in was in the form of my room, with walls of green and blue, with a concert floor. I had been dating guy online, he lived in Georgia, me Colorado. In a few more days we would have made a year of relationship.
I sent him a message saying I wouldn't be able to get online, because I had to study for all the finals of the week. He said he was fine with it. Well about half way through my finals week, I was able to get online and message him. He broke up with me.... I know break up is hard...but all he said was "I was only dating you because I wanted to make my friend jealous."
So my heart not only snapped but crumbled in his fist. Everything I was became false to myself, to let myself fall for something hurt. Then whats worst is my finals (which I barely passed) had more stress on me than I thought....then my family, holding myself back of who I was added stress.

That very night I decided to end my life or at least try. I have sad what had happen the whole night, to my family because they dont need to know, but I went upstairs to the kitchen and grabbed one of our knifes and went back to my room. I pressed and pressed against my skin as hard as I could, but something was hold me from pulling down my arms. After about half a hour i think, I went back up stairs and put the knife back, then went to the medicine cabinet.
I grabbed as many sleeping pills I could (which wasnt enough) and swallowed them all, even my body was trying to stop me from swallowing them all. It even tried to get me to throw up.
After many fail attempts of my body trying to stop me, I went and wrote a note and thumb tacked it to my door.
I still dont know to this day, which of my brothers saw it and ran got my parents at 4 in the morning. But I remember waking up, to my dad gripping me in his arms crying onto me saying "WAke up wake up wakeup." and one of my brothers saying, "Do we need to get him to the hospital and get his stomach pumped?" Then they noticed I woke up and everyone hugged me cried, and I of course started crying too.
After a bit my parents had my siblings go back to bed, and me upstairs onto the couch. Everyone left but my mom who hugged me few more times. She got up to go back to bed, and as I turned my face towards the couch, she asked, "Are you gay?" I replied, "Yes." and she walked away.

I learned they were really okay with me being gay and embraced it by buying me a gay pride flag, not a normal flag size but a smaller one, you hold in your hand. (my family is cheap xD )

So here is some advice~

1. When people say, how selfish of you to try to kill yourself, well say **** off to them, because yes people you care for will be hurt, but if not them who come first. You need to make sure yourself is okay at best. If you break then ask for help.

2.After a break up whether out of not, it will hurt but it wont last forever. You will move on no matter what. So dont pull something stupid Like I did.

3. If you are out and not accepted (my grand father doesnt accept me) dont care for them either. If they dont give two **** about you then why should you care for them.

4. If you need someone to talk to, I will always be here pm me if you need <3

Im always cry, its the best way to let in better emotions biggrin