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Reply Writing sub forum: Writers, such as Setsuna, Loki, Hiei, and Seido come here to well...write^^
Silver and Gold - An Uncompleted Short Story

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Daring Nik

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:49 pm


Early silver stars dotted the twilight sky, each casting an eerie glow about their bodies like silent halos. They, in turn, winked in the direction of the setting usn. The time of the stars and frost was upon the darkened forest. High up in a mighty elm, a figure sat still. The beautiful, melting colors like splattered paint on a violet canvas, the most perfect of sunsets could not move the figure. Stars, so irristable, so sheen yet the figure did not dare breath. Only when the forest snag out in nightly harmony, soaring through the the obscured velvet sky did this figure twitch. As soon as the grasshoppers joined the chorus, the black figure lept from the limps of the elm. It hit the ground with no noise and passed under the gentle light of the white moon. This figure was shaped human, pale in complexion with a soft mess of brown curls. His eyes, silver as the stars above, were noticeably dull and removed; They lay in thought elsewhere. His face was angular, inquisitive and wise, his nose a perfect compliment to this serious look. A black tattoo of a winding line lay under his glassy eye, an obstruction to his frail skin. As this person quickly moved from the revealing glow of the moon, he brushed back his wavy locks with one slender hand to absently show the world a pointed ear, pierced with a ring of gold. His silver eyes sparked for but a second under the final rays of the moon. Just as soon, the elf had disappeared into the underbrush of the singing woods.

I know, it is not done. That is but the first draft of the introduction. Comments, suggestions? All are welcomed and needed...
PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:57 pm


Great story, Mephie! biggrin

You're really good at discribing and imagry. 3nodding

HieiJagonchi
Vice Captain


Daring Nik

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:59 pm


^^ I do try.
PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:19 am


I have a tip, and a non-essential tip.

The related one: Don't use too many adjectives, that can be done, that's why they are double-edged swords^^
If ya use to many, the reader loses sight of the storyline and then the story becomes more of a study-guide for descriptive words...

And the non-related one: Tights burn, they really do...

But otherwise a good start! Go Mephistophe-blub-blub Sociopath...And I just realized what your name was...

Croakers
Vice Captain

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Writing sub forum: Writers, such as Setsuna, Loki, Hiei, and Seido come here to well...write^^

 
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