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 Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 3:07 pm
Karone wasn’t feeling well. She hadn’t been feeling well since spending time with that knight, since visiting that wonder and just…
She hadn’t been feeling well at all.
There was just something about the soul crushing knowledge that you were on the wrong side of things, and the overwhelming desire to leave to run away…but…she couldn’t leave Gently. She wouldn’t leave Gently.
She had promised…but now…
Now that promise was hurting her. She wanted out. Wanted to find her own path to…to wherever…
Karone still hadn’t reported the information about Richterite, and she still wasn’t sure she wanted to…it wasn’t…fair. For her to just give up his secret…not that she hadn’t given up others. Tanais wouldn’t have been discovered if not for her…or maybe…maybe that was wrong. Perhaps someone else would have reported it. Perhaps someone else would have better luck bringing the dark haired woman back, since she, herself was utterly useless.
A crybaby.
Quietly, Karone walked into the living room and half fell onto the couch, burying her head against Gently’s lap and sighing heavily, looking up at the other woman with a pensive, almost sad expression. “Hey, Gent? Do you…remember someone in the Negaverse who was named Richterite?”
She might not want to officially report it…but she could ask questions, at least.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:00 pm
Gently looked up from her video game, one of the few escapes outside keeping company with Karone that she had, and smiled as her fiance came over to the sofa. She was a little surprised as the other woman laid down on the sofa and put her head in Gently's lap, but she made room and put her hand on Karone's shoulder carefully.
She saw the sad look on her face, one she had been seeing a lot of.
It was worrying, but it was also far too easy to relate to. She had not been feeling like herself, either, but she was not the type to talk too much about her problems. Instead, she hid away from them, away from her confusing and more complicated feelings. And most of her feelings, these days, were confusing and complicated.
"Yeah, I remember him," she said carefully, smiling softly. She'd driven him away, as she did everyone else, but when she was much newer to this whole thing... he had been her friend. She remembered when she had friends, when she'd wanted them. It felt... warmer then. "Why? He didn't get himself killed, did he? Is he okay?"
Loss was always complicated, but she had learned a long time ago that it was just part of the job. They died all the time, and while it was sad, at least they could pretend they were dying for something. Or that was what she used to tell herself, before all this uncertainty settled on her shoulders.
All this fear.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 10:53 am
Karone looked up at Gently, her heart thumping a little quicker at the smile on her fiancés face. It wasn’t an expression that she was used to…but now that she had it in her sight…she wanted more of it. “…No, he’s not dead. He purified though. It seems like…everyone is purifying…” There was a note of something in her voice. Something that sounded dangerously close to longing.
She couldn’t deny it now. Not after that visit to the beautiful wonder and the discussion with that page…she wanted it. In her heart…she had already betrayed the Negaverse and…and honestly right now…all she needed…all she wanted was a sign that she wouldn’t have to go through this alone…
Though, bringing it up with Gently was a dangerous thing…and she was almost afraid that she was once again about to part ways with her starseed but…
“I don’t really understand it. I’ve been trying to reason with some of the traitors. To figure out why they’ve left but they’re just…so pushy…” It was an attempt not to sound so…eager, and she hoped it helped. Maybe it wasn’t that she actually wanted to leave just…
Just she really didn’t want to feel so shaken up anymore…that would be…ideal. If she could just…be back to her old self before finding out about Cinnibar. “…One day we’ll get them all back though, Gent. I know it…”
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 11:41 am
Gently looked a little pained when Karone said that yet another of her old friends, allies, had purified. Maybe they were all figuring things out that she was too stubborn to accept. Not that she had no doubts... even she had doubts. They were just not the kind of thing she would ever admit to.
Except, of course, to one person.
Instead of reacting violently, like she'd done before, or yelling something profane about death to all traitors, Gently simply moved to gather Karone in her arms, guiding her to sit up so she could wrap her fiance up in the tightest hug. She buried her face against Karone's neck, shaking as she hugged her, her fingers curling and knuckles turning white as she clung to Karone's shirt.
She drew back and pulling Karone to her for a deep, passionate kiss, still holding on to her as if her life depended on it. And in many ways, it did. When she did finally break away, dropping her arms a bit but keeping Karone close, she moved to rest her head against the other woman's shoulder.
"I don't know who I am anymore," she admitted, at length. "I don't know who anyone is. Maybe Richterite, once upon a time, isn't so surprising but... so many others who... I don't know. I get so confused now. Am I angry? Am I... relieved? Betrayed? And then Camelot, and that stupid youma. I don't even know if I hate them anymore. Hate is all I have, baby. What am I going to be if everything keeps changing like this? I'm going to lose you."
She turned her face into Karone's neck again, nuzzling close and muffling her words as she hid.
"I'm going to lose me."
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 11:49 am
As Gently began to gather her up, Karone sucked in a quiet breath, a sudden fear causing her heart to begin pounding wildly. This was it. This was where she lost her starseed and everything would just…end.
Or…or not. She was surprised by the hug, and even more surprised by the kiss, her fingers clutching at the other woman, trying to pull her closer, trying to negate any distance that might have been between them. When the kiss was broken, she reached up, stroking Gently’s hair without thinking, providing what comfort she could, quiet. Karone listened to Gently’s words. Her fears and for a moment, she couldn’t quite believe them. Was Gently really…saying pretty much the same things she was feeling? Was this really happening…?
“I promise you, Gently. You’re not ever going to lose me. I’ll be here with you until past the end, I promise. You are my life’s blood. You are my treasure, and I won’t let you lose yourself. I won’t let you lose me. I won’t let myself be lost…but…” She swallowed, placing a gently kiss on the other woman’s jaw.
“But when hate is all that you have…do you really have room to love me…? I know you do love me…so what I’m saying is…I think you’re wrong. You’re not all hate…there’s so much more to you…”
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:10 pm
"I know you want to purify," she said, very quietly. Maybe she was worried someone might hear them, even in their own home. She looked at Karone directly, searching her expression. She knew that the other woman meant every word of love, but it scared her to think what might happen now. Where this long road would finally lead.
Was it somewhere she wanted to go? Did she have any real choice? Or was that what she was finally coming to understand? That so far, she hadn't had one. Now one was before her, and she was panicking. She was lost.
"I do love you. I love you with the only good parts of me that are left. I know there aren't many. They call me a monster and they're right, I am. I like what I do. I love it. I thought it was all I really needed, but I was just being a blind... terrified idiot. I thought if I was stronger than it all, scarier than it all, it would never hurt me. Now I just don't want YOU to be hurt."
She took a breath, her head starting to hurt from the stress of trying to finally put all these confusing thoughts into words. She was not sure she would be able to really do it, not in a coherent way, but she was trying.
"I haven't been on patrol. I power up. I leave. I power down and I sit in the backyard until I think it's been long enough. I haven't taken any energy, or starseeds. I've just been scared."
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 3:35 pm
She stiffened, looking at Gently for a long moment before shaking her head slowly. “I…I don’t…I mean…of course I’ve thought about it…but I promised you, Gently, I won’t leave you. Not ever. Either we go together, or I don’t go at all, so don’t you worry. You won’t ever lose me. I’m not just saying that. I made a promise to you, and I fully intend to keep it.”
Karone drew Gently close, continuing to stroke her hair, gently running her nails across the other woman’s scalp. “I’m not going to get hurt. We’re not going to get hurt…my love, if you don’t want to power up, you’re under no obligation to do so. Nobody can force you. We…we don’t have to be monsters…we can stay a part of the Negaverse and not be monsters…or we can just stop showing up—I mean…sure…they might ask questions, but I’m sure they’d rather us take a break rather than…rather than become traitors…”
She was rambling now, a little confused. A little concerned that this was a trap and she had condemned herself from her own mouth…
“I won’t ever judge you for taking a step back. I won’t ever be upset if you need a break…You are my world, Gently Ponsonby, and soon, soon you will be my wife, so there is nothing at all to fear.”
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 3:49 pm
Gently loved being close to Karone, finding it the only time she ever really felt anything at all. Powered down, remembering what it was like to be happy and almost human, it was such a stark contrast to what she had allowed herself to become in the Negaverse.
A monster.
"I want you to be free," she said, after a long pause. Her voice hitched in her throat, and she gripped Karone's arm not for emphasis, but to keep herself stable. "They won't take me. The White Moon. They won't. After everything I've done. All the people I've killed and tortured. All the monsters I've created."
Or tried to, thinking back to Merlinite. Yet even he was finding a way to escape it all, to better himeself and to protect the people he cared about. That was all Gently really wanted now. It was the only thing she could ever remember wanting, because she had never allowed herself to indulge in her own feelings before. She was fine being the killing machine, the scariest thing she could possibly create. It was easier that way, to disconnect from everyone and become a phantom.
But phantoms, monsters, couldn't undo what terror they brought to others. They couldn't be forgiven. She was too far gone, that was what people believed. What she was starting to believe. Maybe there was just too much Chaos in her heart: she was not only poisoned, but consumed.
How could she ever get rid of it all?
"I want you to go. To... to Camelot. I want you to have him help you, and hide you. I won't ever tell a soul. I promise. You can be safe, and free, and happy. If it makes me a traitor, then so be it. I never liked the negaverse anyway. And they never liked me. I'll keep them away from you, always. Even if I don't know who you are."
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 3:57 pm
For a moment, Karone couldn’t breathe. For a moment she didn’t know what to do, or what to think…
For one traitorous moment, her heart leapt with excitement and her mind went to where she might be able to find Camelot. But…no. No, that wasn’t going to be how this played out.
Karone didn’t break her promises. Besides. She had others to think about. She had her recruits. She had Amesite and Nacrite. Mourite and the siblings that she had just corrupted at their mothers request…she couldn’t just…leave. Not yet.
“Oh my love. No. No I won’t do that to you. I promised you. I promised you that I would stay by your side, no matter what. If you’re afraid that the White Moon won’t take you…than I’ll speak to Camelot. I’ll talk to him. I’m sure…I’m sure he would bring you to that side of things too.”
Her voice was calm, soothing and her hands continued their gentle task of playing with the soft pink hair of the other woman. “My love, you are my purpose in life. Not the Negaverse, not the White Moon, but you. You were the one who saw potential in me, you were the one who brought me into all of this to begin with. Now,”
She turned, pulling away slightly and placed both hands on each of Gently’s cheeks. “I need you to listen to me. Because I am going to say something that you need to understand.”
Karone gave a soft smile. “I am not leaving without you.” The words were said slowly, forcefully, and her eyes were blazing with a deep stubbornness. “So get it through your head, and don’t you dare try to push me away again.”
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 4:12 pm
Gently felt a stab of fear move through her. Talking to Camelot about something like that was the last line to cross. Would he even consider it? She knew he was stupidly kind sometimes, had witnessed it herself, but how could he ever forgive her for the terrible things she had done to him, personally? To his family, just for fun.
He had nearly killed her, once, to rid the world of her. Now she wanted some sort of second chance from him. It was almost too much.
Almost.
She looked at Karone when she was guided to, putting her hand over one of her fiance's and leaning into her touch. She felt her eyes burning, tears threatening, but she fought them off and listened, nodding her head with each word.
"We'll be together, then," she said, quietly. But they were so close, and no one else needed to hear it, that a whisper really was all that was necessary. It was just as meaningful as shouting it from the roof tops. "No matter what. Instead of following me into the dark, maybe I'll follow you into the light. We can try. I love you. God, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I want it to be a long, long time. Is that too much to ask?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2018 4:36 pm
The fierce look in her eyes softened and Kraone leaned forward, kissing Gently’s lips as tenderly as she could, smiling against them. “We’ll get it. We’ll get our long, happily ever after. We’ll be married and everything will be as it was meant to be. You’ll see, Gently. Trust me on this. I…I know Camelot. We’ve spoken a few times…I…he…he would listen to me. He would give you a chance, I know he would.”
She was suddenly trembling. “I’ll go tomorrow and find him. I’ll find him and we’ll set something up. We’ll get everything settled and then you and me…we can walk into the light together. Leave all of our burdens and fears behind us…there’s nothing stopping us, my love.”
Her forehead rested against Gently’s and for a moment, Karone looked absolutely giddy. “Perhaps by next week…we’ll be starting our new life together. Camelot can and will help us, I’m sure of it. Everything is going to be just fine, Gently, I promise you.”
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