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Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:26 pm
A/N: Bwhaha. Another one. That I've already written chapters to. x)
Prologue.
It was an endless cycle, never meant to be broken. They would get too close to each other, and he would kiss her, letting his heart speak instead of his mind for those heart-stopping moments. But he would always pull away, and shrug it off like it didn't even matter. Even when he ended it with her sister, things between them were still awkward. She was used to the cycle for a while now, and by far had grown tired of it. So, she decided to break it. The consequences of breaking the cycle? She knew it could kill her. She knew it wouldn't ever be the same.
But she did it anyway, believing it for the best.
A close friendship? Gone. Too-close-for-comfort moments? Gone. Times she let him in on her problems? Gone.
And he knew it, too. Desperately, he tried to pull her back. But all he got in return was a cold shoulder and a harsh lecture whenever he tried to be her friend. Be her mentor, like he used to be. But things weren't like how they used to be, and he hated every second of it. One time, just once, he tried looking in her eyes at the end of a recording of a song.
"What're you looking at me like that for?"she put up an icy front, bitterness shown in her tone. But he could tell there was insecurity, and maybe even some fear there too.
"You're not Jude, not since-"he began.
She let out a bitter laugh. "Run out of things to say to me, now? I've heard this from Jamie before, but I didn't expect it from you." Her eyes glazed over with dislike. "I'm not yours to tell who I am. This is who I am now, Tom. If you don't like it, I can ask for another producer. After all, you're strictly freelance, right?" Without waiting for a response, she grabbed her jacket and left him alone to his thoughts.
That day in the studio left Tommy to think. The Jude Harrison he knew once was gone, buried somewhere hidden beneath this new, colder exterior. What was a man to do?
"This new Jude...she's not the same 15-year old I fell in love with,"Tommy Quincy muttered to himself at a seemingly empty G Major at around midnight. It was a Friday night...he doubted anyone was still here. Suddenly, a chill voice spoke that made him freeze on the spot.
"Funny, I must be dreaming. I thought I heard the infamous Lil' Tommy Q say he loved me."
Chapter 1: Always Here.
He turned around rapidly in his chair to take a look at Jude. Her clothes were disheveled, her blonde hair was a mess, and she was soaking wet. It was then Tommy realized it had begun to rain in the time he had zoned out completely in deep thought. To him, she was absolutely beautiful. But there was something missing. That warmth she held in her eyes before, just for him, had disappeared altogether. And it was also then Tommy realized he was staring at Jude for a good minute then, and cleared his throat nervously. "Jude," he acknowledged, nodding and avoiding her previous comment.
She raised a brow at him and snorted. "Who did you expect?" Jude asked spitefully, sending him a glare.
"No one in particular,"he replied honestly,"What're you doing here?"
"What? I can't stay here without someone deciding to play 20-20 questions?" her voice was littered with obvious sarcasm.
"Sorry, I was just wondering," Tommy said hurriedly; he knew now how short her temper had become,"Aren't you cold? If you want, you can take my jacket-"
"I don't want your charity," she spat out, avoiding his eyes. Jude stepped up to the window and settled her gaze on the outside stormy weather. Taking his jacket off anyway, he walked silently behind her and placed his jacket on her shoulders. "Don't think of it as charity, then," Tommy whispered as he leaned in close, turning around to walk back to his chair without a second glance back. At the feeling of his breath against her neck, Jude gave an involuntary shudder and instinctively clutched the jacket closer against her body. As his familiar scent in the jacket enveloped her, Jude mutely debated whether or not it was a bad thing to want to wear the jacket not just for the warmth. Tommy smiled as he watched Jude accept his jacket; it was a good sign for her nowadays to accept anything from him. He knew it would be a very long time for it to come out, but he had faith his Jude, the one he had spent late nights in the studio talking for hours about anything without getting bored, was in there. Somewhere, just hiding. And Tommy swore he'd find her.
There were a few moments of silence, where the both just stood there, thinking. "There is a reason,"Tommy said as he broke the eerie quiet,"why you came here so late. It's not safe to be driving around on the streets this time of night. You don't have to tell me, but I'm here to listen. I want you to know that." He fixed his eyes on the ground as he heard her footsteps shuffling. Looking up, he was brought face-to-face with Jude. But her eyes were slightly different this time. Not coldly distant, but not filled with warmth either. There was a look of worry, a sense of vulnerability rarely shown, all he could tell but hadn't seen for so long. She glanced away and broke his gaze, but met his eyes again with equal nervousness.
"Dad left town with Yvette weeks ago. Sadie's off in college in the States and all I get is a pathetic postcard every month. And Mom takes home some man every night, drunk or otherwise,"Jude confessed quietly. Her eyes shone and threatened to spill tears, but they refused to fall. Startled at her openess and heartbroken at the same time, Tommy immediately wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. If Tom Quincy had one weakness, it is and always would be seeing Jude Harrison hurt. But apparently, this wasn't what Jude wanted. After a few seconds being held by Tommy, she pushed him away gently but forcefully. "I can't,"she muttered, more to herself than him,"I can't do this anymore." And without another word, or giving Tommy anytime to call after her, she exited G Major, out into the cold, windy storm.
"I knew this wouldn't be easy,"Tommy mumbled grudgingly into the silence of the room.
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:02 pm
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r i n g p o p Ri0T Captain
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 3:23 pm
Chapter 2: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.
"I demand a new producer, D."
Darius Mills leaned back in his chair lazily in his office at G Major, the morning sun hitting the glass from the window. He glanced at Jude through his dark sunglasses and gave a trademark smirk. She was obviously tired and was looking sleep-deprived through the messed hair and ragged clothes, but nonetheless she gave him an intent and determined stare. "There's nothing wrong with Quincy, and you know that,"he began firmly. When Jude was about to interrupt with a rude remark, Darius continued,"No, listen. You both make brilliant music together, and admit it or not, he's contributed so much to your first two albums already. And we've discussed this before; I would have hoped you'd had figured that out already." He looked up expectantly at her, waiting for a argument. Tom knew, Kwest knew, all of G Major knew this particular girl wouldn't give up without a fight. "Any other producer would work fine with me,"Jude pressed,"I could do just as well without Lil' Tommy Q the perfectionist."
Darius bit back a laugh. "Jude, listen to yourself,"he replied in a disapproving tone, with the ever slight presence of pity there as well. "Listen to what you're saying. Do you honestly believe you would have made it this far in the music industry without Tommy?"
Jude bit her lip, thinking hard. As much as she reluctantly hated to admit it, it was true.
And there was no damn way getting past the fact.
Her silence of a response made Darius chuckle slightly. "Take a break,"he suggested generously,"I think we all know how much you need it. Get some rest, you're off for the day." Jude scowled at him, and Darius raised his eyebrows in challenge. Now, why did he just know she wasn't going to cave in so easily?
Just then by such luck, Tommy entered the room. He paused, staring from Jude to Darius as if to analyze the situation. "Jude,"he began, albeit awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Her eyes flashed dangerously, and subconsciously Tommy took a step backwards. "You,"she directed at Darius,"I will stay at the studio today. I'm inspired, and when I get inspired, I come up with a song. And I know you wouldn't want a hit song to be lost just because you think I need rest." And it was his turn now to have nothing to say, no will to admit defeat. Tommy eyed her warily; an angry Jude wasn't one to be very patient, that saying something because she was never that patient to begin with. "And as for you,"Jude started. She didn't look at him directly, however. He could tell her eyes were focused away from his face, away from his eyes. It was as if she was looking past him, like he wasn't there at all. Transparent, if you will. Jude continued,"You...will stay out of my way." Turning once back to look at Darius, Jude walked right out of the room, leaving the two unsettled men to their thoughts. "Make sure she doesn't end up trashing my studio, I've seen what that girl is capable of,"Darius barked at Tommy, regaining his usual confident self. But Tommy wasn't listening to a word what his boss was ordering him to do. His mind was solely fixed on Jude, trying to comprehend what she was thinking. Maybe it was a worthless way to spend his time, because he'd been trying to figure that out for months with no such luck, but he tried anyway. Someone once told him as an insult, what Tommy wants, Tommy always gets. And now, all he wanted his Jude back.
As of then, Jude had barricaded herself into one room. No recording, no Kwest, and definitely no Tommy to help. Just a piano, and a a trusty notebook and pen. That was all she needed, she told herself, her music. Jude once said she could live in a studio perfecting and creating songs and die a happy woman. It was her outlet, her way of showing the world what words alone couldn't say. As Jude's thoughts drifted toward her current life, she didn't notice her producer slipping through the door and watching her through the glass. Shaking her head as if to ward off unsettling thoughts, pen flew from line to line as lyrics came so naturally. Just like that, without a struggle to let them out. In spite of all the cold-hearted words she threw at him day after day, Tommy Quincy just had to smile. That was proof Jude Harrison, Instant Star, was not yet gone. Angry or joyful, crying or laughing, there was something about Jude as Tom watched her at work. To him watching her work lyrics of a new song, it was just so compelling, like he couldn't bear to take his eyes off of her. Still gazing and following her every move, Tommy watched as Jude turned to face the piano and start to play. He blinked, but listened intently to what Jude had come up with.
"The phone is off the hook and Jimmy's got a gun. Sherry's in the river and the river's gonna run again.
Mmmm, yeah.
So you don't know where to go, you don't know where to hide, holding all your tears, keeping your pain inside.
With your back against the wall, heart falling from your hands, you throw it in the river, the river's gonna run again."
There was an honesty in her voice Tommy hadn't heard in a long time. At least, never spoken to him in a long time. Sadness reflected in his eyes as he continued to watch. He knew there was something he'd missed about this song.
"Oh yeah, yeah
But you are not alone.
But you're not safe at home.
And you're running back, running back when you're off track. Lookin' for a home or a house to call your own. You need a phone, you feel all alone. Don't know where to start while you fall into part. And you need someone to hold your hands and cope. You feel a little older, you need a shoulder, oh I know."
His face dawned in realization. Her home life. This was the Jude practically shouting out to the world about her home life. Tommy buried his face in his hands, scolding himself harshly and relentlessly for not doing anything about it sooner. But what was there to do when she wouldn't let him in anymore?
"But you're not alone... What they will believe, and if you wanna change, how's it meant to be, Oh, you wanna live a life, You need to break away. Counting on your hands, the days you have left to pay. But you are not alone
But you're are not safe At home...."
As her song ended, worry flooded into his mind. Thought after thought, there was increased panic starting to settle in. How bad was it? Exactly what the hell was her mother doing, anyway? Tommy stood up straight, making up his mind. It was now or never. And he had waited long enough.
"Jude, can we talk?"Tommy asked softly, making himself shown as he looked down at her. Immediately, Jude shot up from her seat, hand flying to close the notebook she wrote the lyrics in as the pen rolled to the floor with a clanking sound. "Later,"she mumbled, staring down at the ground nervously,"I need to get home now." Placing a friendly hand on her shoulder, Tommy shook his head. "I'll drive you,"he offered kindly. Jude was obviously shaken from being caught singing that particular song and didn't say a word, but followed Tommy out to his car. Slightly interested, Tommy wondered vaguely why she didn't object. It wasn't like the new Jude.
Stepping inside the Harrison household, Tommy was surprised to see the rooms so unkempt. Clothes were scattered along the couch and floor, there was a pile of unwashed dishes in the corner, and what he suspected to be several glasses of wine poorly hidden behind the table. He turned to Jude, silently asking for a good explanation. "I haven't bothered to clean up for the past few days,"she muttered, embarassed. Turning to the coat rack, she grabbed Tommy's jacket from the previous night and looked up at him. "This is yours,"Jude mumbled, trying to force it into his arms. As Tommy refused, he thought he heard a slur of words coming from upstairs. There was a loud groan, and following after a loud yell.
"Jude! What did I say about bringing your boy band producer over here-"
"Just go,"Jude pleaded hurriedly, shoving the jacket in his arm and opening the door hastily. Tommy gave her a puzzled and worried look, but as Victoria Harrison's yells became louder, Jude whimpered. His eyes narrowed. There was something seriously wrong here.
"Jude, what the hell is your mom-"
"GO!"
Giving him one last push, she slammed the front door shut and locked it firmly. Sliding down to the floor, she held her face in her hands. Jude didn't know her mother was awake yet. Another thing she didn't know, was that Tommy was listening intently through the other side.
Tommy then felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he heard the soft sound of Jude crying inside.
Chapter 3: Underage.
Hidden in the corner, concealed by dark clothes accompanied by a black hoodie to hide her hair, the figure stood at the bar's edge silently. As she reached one hand to raise the glass to her mouth, her hood parted back slowly, revealing several strands of blonde hair. Downing the contents, however strong, Jude Harrison made no wince, no cough, to the alcoholic drink. By now, she was surrounded by it, seen it enough times to make her sick, and drank it enough to know the effects of a hangover. However, maybe it was her own home life that had something to do with it too. It was probably about 1 in the morning, not that she bothered to keep track. She had snuck out of her home as soon as she could, just to wander the streets. Anything, she just needed anything to get away from Victoria Harrison. But maybe she was doing the wrong thing by doing exactly what she hated; either way, whatever the truth it wasn't like Jude cared anymore. Interrupted by her thoughts, a woman appeared and gave Jude a smile. "Blondie,"she noted, grinning wickedly,"Back so soon?"
Jude smirked and pulled back her hood to show her face, previously wiped clean of all tears. "Guess so,"Jude shrugged in response. Patsy raised her eyebrows but asked no question, but instead gestured to her drink. "Heavy drinker, huh?" Patsy asked skeptically, watching Jude gulp down another mouthful. "Easy there, Harrison. Wouldn't want to end up completely wasted, would you? Besides, I don't think your boyfriend likes it." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and some amusement. Without furthering an explanation, she shook her head and walked off into the loud crowds. Jude wanted to question what she meant by calling after her, but decided against it to become entirely indifferent on the matter. About to take another swig of her drink, her lips barely brushed against the glass before a strong wrist shot out to grab her arm. Setting her drink down, Jude looked up from her seat to lock the stare of a furious Tommy. She could just feel the solid anger radiating off him at the moment. "Look who it is, my big time producer, Lil Tommy Q," Jude smirked with a knowing edge, just to push his buttons.
"Cheers, eh?" she gave him a mock salute, about to begin drinking again. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but Jude felt, for once, in control of the situation. It always seemed to be like that; the alcohol intake washing all of her troubles away. Even if only for a temporary time, it was enough. It was enough just to forget about everything for a little while. So, in all honesty, it probably wasn't the best cure; but it was all Jude knew. Glaring down at her, once again Tommy's hand reached out and pushed the drink far away from her reach. She stood up this time, turning to face him directly in the eye. Granted, she swayed slightly for a second or two to gain some balance. "What's your problem, Quincy?" Jude asked in an annoyed tone, thankful her words weren't slurred as she spoke."What's my problem?" he repeated angrily,"You, Harrison! For one, you shouldn't be out this late at night!" Jude raised her eyebrows, and muttered a something that sounded like "Thanks, dad." Tommy went on, not listening. "And more importantly," Tommy stressed his words,"You're underage!"
"Yeah? Well, I am for a lot of things," Jude muttered to herself, but loud enough for him to hear. He blinked at being caught off-guard at her remark, his rant thrown completely out of his mind. Shaking his head and sighing, he reprimanded her. "We're getting out of here, and you're going home," he stated flatly, voicing his disapproval. It was all he could hope for that Jude wasn't so badly drunk. "Since when did you have control over what I do outside the studio?" she burst out, an unexpected fire lit within her. Tommy looked over her coldly. "Since whatever you seem to do now ends up a mistake,"he replied icily; he had enough. Tommy was tired of her stubborness to a breaking point by now. Stunned and at a loss for words, Jude instead used the option of slapping him hard across the face.
"Where the hell do you get off?" she whispered menacingly. Rubbing his now-red cheek with one hand, Tom listened mutely but grudgingly all the same. "Do you think it's easy for me?" Jude questioned incredulously,"Living like this? Not having anyone trust, no damn person to believe in anymore. I can't even go to my own home without being put at unease. I'm not safe at home, Tommy! And if I don't belong there, then where do I belong? Care to answer that, Tom? Because honestly, but the way you act, you know all the answers. So tell me. Just tell me one goddamn reason I should keep looking for some reason to believe that life has to be better than this." Just as before at the studio, her eyes glistened with unshed tears. But none would ever fall in front of him; she would never let that happen. Removing his hand from his cheek, Tommy appeared caught between a mixture of different emotions.
"Believe in me," Tommy said finally, urgently,"Your life, it can get better. But underage drinking...Jude, that's not your answer." His eyes pleaded with hers not to give up on him yet. Jude looked away, staring at the floor. She could never really look at him when he had that look in her eyes. Whenever he did Jude just had the impulse to do whatever he wanted, whenever, wherever. But she couldn't risk it, not anymore. A worrying thought then lodged itself into Tommy's mind.
'Had she gone too far to be saved?'
Jude shook her head, and her mind was made up. Reaching across the table, Jude gripped the half-empty glass of alcohol. "Like mother, like daughter," was all she mumbled to Tommy, a slight bitter smile on her face. Downing it swiftly before Tommy had a chance to intervene, Jude closed her eyes, suddenly dizzy, as everything turned black.
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:40 pm
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r i n g p o p Ri0T Captain
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:58 am
Where's the rest of it?? You've got me hooked, but you're not continuing the story. Can I? *fingers itching to do so*
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:49 pm
Okay, I contacted [.Forever Friday.], the author, and he has authorized me to continue the fic, so I shall now do so. I can't promise that it will be extremely long (I don't have much foresight), but I'll put in what I think should happen, and co-writing offers are welcome. Just PM me.
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