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Reply Work written between 2003 - 2006
Afterglow and Ivy. <3

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Afterglow or Ivy?
  Afterglow.
  Ivy.
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Amyane

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 7:18 am


[ Message temporarily off-line ]
PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 1:02 am


I loved them both. But, how can you really critique poetry? There is so much that is the writer, the author's mind. You just can't touch it with criticisms.

Cataera


Amyane

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:37 pm


Cataera
I loved them both. But, how can you really critique poetry? There is so much that is the writer, the author's mind. You just can't touch it with criticisms.

Thanks. >w< I suppose I just meant comments. :3
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:26 pm


Your poems were so amazing. *_* I had to read them over and over just to find one little thing.

I need to critic 3 works to post something of my own, so I'm just trying to make this one really count. XD You don't have to pay attention to me if you don't want.

Maybe you could write:

"Though And nothing left truly
is here, but the memories
are strong inside,"

Though and but are both contradictory words. They sound kind of funny together. Although, with my correction the stanza sounds slightly less poetic. ._. Whatever you want.

So yeah.

You're definitely a great poet (a lot better than I am *_*). I'm just trying to do my criticing job. *_* As you can see, I'm not much of one...

Ms. Conception


Amyane

PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:43 am


Ms. Conception
Your poems were so amazing. *_* I had to read them over and over just to find one little thing.

I need to critic 3 works to post something of my own, so I'm just trying to make this one really count. XD You don't have to pay attention to me if you don't want.

Maybe you could write:

"Though And nothing left truly
is here, but the memories
are strong inside,"

Though and but are both contradictory words. They sound kind of funny together. Although, with my correction the stanza sounds slightly less poetic. ._. Whatever you want.

So yeah.

You're definitely a great poet (a lot better than I am *_*). I'm just trying to do my criticing job. *_* As you can see, I'm not much of one...

Aww, thanks. <33 I really do appreciate your comments. I'll figure out a way to fix that stanza. ^__^ Thanks for the sugestions!
PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2006 4:22 pm


I really like these two poems. You used repetition very well in the first and there's just something about the second one I really like!

One change I would make in the second one, though, would be to add only a couple more punctuation marks, especially in the last stanza. It read very well, but there were a couple of trouble spots for me. The punctuation you already have, however, made it easy to figure it out, so it doesn't really have to be changed.

Nice job! I can't wait to read more!

Cereah
Crew

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Work written between 2003 - 2006

 
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