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EDIT: congrats megan this thread is now a sticky
much love tatsu.


Fwahahah!!!!!! I'm such a loser sweatdrop Annnnnnnyyyyyyywwwwwwwwaaaay, this topic is for people who write poetry/songs to put it down and let us see your wonderful talent!!! Please only five poems/songs per post as otherwise people with short attention spans (like myself >.<) will become amused by something else even if your poetry is awesome. If you want to be critiqued so you can improve, just say so at the bottom of your post. ^^ I'll start!

Falling Star

falling
brightly shining
then gone
like a spark going out
quickly, they come
thousands of them
dropping from the sky
how odd it must be
to live for so short a time
how can they stand it
no time to love
no time to hate
no time for life
only cold
and empty darkness
such a lonely life
that of a falling star

Help

Why does she taunt me so
I never did anything to her
I sat there, quiet
And yet she still finds ways to torture me

You're stupid
You're ugly
No one can love you
You're annoying
You're bossy
How do your friends put up with you?
You're ignorant
You're selfish
You can't be MY daughter

I listen to these things
And more
Each and every day
I think they're finally getting to me
I think I'm going to crack
One more comment from her mouth
And I just might go KER-SPLAT
From jumping out the window
Or getting hit by a car
I don't know what to do anymore
I'm entangled in this web
And I can't get free
Someone, please, save me
I don't care who
If someone doesn't help me soon
I think I'll go insane

Algebra

Functions, variables, equations galore.
X,Y, and C.
The terms are whirling in my head
My teacher's evil as plain as can be.
She bores me half to death with words
That I already know.
And then come the quizzes, and test after test
The papers look like fallen snow.
Her voice is quite monotonous
It makes me fall asleep
And then she comes to wake me up
With her face like a sheep

I don't have a title for this one...

My soul is crying
I am dying
Why can't I see you
My life is through

I never got to say
That everything was okay
I wish I could hear your voice
But it looks like I have no choice

They told me not to drink
But I just couldn't think
I needed to drown my sorrow
But now I'll never see tomorrow

I wish we hadn't had that fight
Then maybe I wouldn't have stormed off that night
And died in a crash, far away
Never to see you another day

There's so much blood
Like a scarlet flood
The wind and rain take me past the red
Now I know it; now I'm dead

Them

They say I'm crazy
They say I'm stupid
They say I'm a loser
They say I'm a freak

When they talk like that
I run away
To my own little world
And try to ignore them
But I can still hear the snickers
I can still hear the laughs
I try to shut my ears
But it won't block out the noise
It won't stop their cruelty

What did I ever do to them
I didn't say a thing
I sat there quiet like a stone
And yet they can still find
Ways to laugh at me

Ok, that's five. PLEASE CRITIUQUE!!! I'm trying to improve my writing style...

[ Message temporarily off-line ]

We do not focus on mainly anime and video game so free free to post anything!

I are quoting that from teh home page....

^^ Teehee! You got that right! :does a dance:

Hello, i'm here to comment on the poems! biggrin

@ Minaiya: I really liked your poems (especially the untitled one). The only thing i could say to help you improve is to maybe use stronger words, but i realize that can be really hard. sweatdrop Just keep doing what you're doing and take chances.

@ Takuro: I really enjoyed reading your poem and haikus. They were very insightful and i especially enjoyed the poem Fear is a reflection. I don't really have any tips on how you should improve, so just keep writing and enjoy yourself.

Alright, that's it. Great stuff, and i'm sure as hell going to check back in here!

Oh! My fault dears, I should read through the Guild rules again sweatdrop .

One of the very first poems I ever wrote:

Angry Tears
The hurt and sadness pierces my soul,
and a cold, unrelenting shadow consumes me;
I am separated by an invisible barrier,
as though I am contained in a glass box.
They hear and see me,
but I don't hear or see them.
I meditate on the wrong done to me,
and feel the anger take over.
It enters my body and soul, as does a virus,
enveloping my heart and mind.
It surrounds every last inch of my body,
and feeds the anger to me,
portion by portion.
Slowly, minuscule droplets of water run down my face,
and I feel the barrier of my soul break down,
like an ancient building's walls finally collapsing.
They stare at me, but I don't stare at them,
for, at the moment,
none of them are more important to me
than my angry tears

Thankee. redface I think I wrote it when I was 13, pretty much the first REAL poem I ever did.