My poem. What do you think? | Page 1 | Entertainment Center | Guild Forums

Gaia Guilds

The Witchcraft Guild - The First Pagan Gaia Guild

Back to Guilds

Entertainment Center

My poem. What do you think?

LoneNights

Offline

Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 2:43 pm

Vampires Embrace

Can you stand to look upon my face? Will you tolerate the chill of my embrace? The light of the sun will cause me death. Is being with me now what you really think best? The night has become my friend. Will sun rise spell our relationships end? If so will you remain my friend? It feels good to have a mortal lover. If you leave can I find another?
My face is pale. MY fangs gleam white. Will you be mine just for tonight? I can show you the wonders of the dark. Would the power of my passion tear your illusions apart? How far are you willing to take this? Can you withstand the pleasure of my kiss? The chill of my hand lingers upon your skin I think of you body as I await the night to begin. Come now to a special place. Gasp with pleasure at the sting of the vampires embrace.

Lone

Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 6:18 pm

8/10 smile

ozzyfan

Offline

LoneNights

Offline

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:23 am

Much thanks ozzyfan.

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 7:53 pm

eek That is so good! I would give it a 9/10. Your really talented.

Nox_theNekoHanyou

Offline

LoneNights

Offline

Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:22 am

Nox_theNekoHanyou

eek That is so good! I would give it a 9/10. Your really talented.

Thank you very much. I have others that I wasnt sure if I should post them but I might now.

Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 6:29 pm

I like the imagery, and the consistancy of the theme. But tell me, were you going for free-form or stream of consciousness?

Silvander

Offline

TanyaDawn

Offline

Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 11:52 pm

eek I love it.......

I mean, really. I truly love it......*got shivers*

Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:15 am

Silvander I honestly just write poems with out much thought to them. I just let things flow and see what feels right and sounds good.

TanyaDawn, thank you for the compliment.

LoneNights

Offline

Silvander

Offline

Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 2:10 pm

LoneNights

Silvander I honestly just write poems with out much thought to them. I just let things flow and see what feels right and sounds good.

TanyaDawn, thank you for the compliment.

Free-form and stream of consciousness are those two forms you never have to think about heart . The difference is that free form is a poem with no rhymes set in any shape your little heart desires, while stream of consciousness is a almost prose-esque writing that follows the patterns of your thought. They tend to look like a normal paragraph until you begin to read, at which point you are following someon's thoughts and may have no idea what they are thinking about.
Ah well. It was an academic wonder. It was kind of silly to ask since acadamia is rarely applicable to poetry with all it's connection to emotion and art.

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:47 pm

LoneNights

Silvander I honestly just write poems with out much thought to them. I just let things flow and see what feels right and sounds good.

I do to. I can't think about the poetry I write or it doesn't come out right.

CelticVampChik

Offline

CelticVampChik

Offline

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:51 pm

The Change
Dawning sun sets below the horizon, the sky is filled with sparkling stars. From the shadows comes a man as pale as the moon's illuminating light. Black eyes deeper than the deepest ocean, filled with tears of joy and pain. Bloodlust burns within his veins, he cannot kill the one he holds. He loves her dearly, more than his living death. They were meant to find eachother, though from very different worlds. He is a predator with thirst for blood, she is prey with love of him. Tonight together they stand forever becoming one. He takes from her mortality and gives from him the gift of immortality to keep her by his side. The change complete they hunt.

This is one I wrote awhile ago. Tell me what you think. BTW, I give yours a 10/10...but I'm a vamp freak so I'm a little bias biggrin .

Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:30 am

really good. I like english poems.

freyate

Offline

Lucia DarkRose

Offline

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 3:33 am

Both of them are very nice.

Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:31 am

I would rate it 9/10 not to much my genre but great writing you should continue with that talent
For all others I didn't wright this but its good

I can see what you see not
vision milky as eyes rot
when you turn they will be gone
whispering their hidden song
then you see what cannot be
shadows dance where light should be
out of darkness out of bind
cast down into the halls of the blind

Nicnak77

Offline

Entertainment Center

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Guilds

The Witchcraft Guild - The First Pagan Gaia Guild

Quick Reply

More Information