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 Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 12:34 am
your opinions on long distant relationships?
Here, let me tell you a story --
This is all going to sound alittle crazy, but just bear with me. I'm the kind of girl who likes to take chances.
So I know a guy named Luc. He's pretty well known around the "scene" here, so it was hard not to know who he was. I've dated two of his friends in the past, one of his best friends even. Well about a week and a half before he was scheduled to leave for Basic Training (he's joined the Navy >.<), he and I started talking. It totally started through MySpace pic comments and blog comment, lol. Anyway we started talking on AIM, and decided we should hang out one last time before he left. So on Saturday, 5 days before he left, we hung out. It was amazing, I got to know him really well, and didn't end up reluctantly leaving until 11pm. When I got home, I felt completely torn apart inside. It was obvious I was developing a crush on a guy I was probably never going to see again in my life, and I felt like fate was teasing me or something, lol. So I got online and seen he was online, and IMed him. For some reason, I started telling him everything, about how I wanted to stay at his house and hang out with him more because he was just so amazing to me...and to my surprise, he shared my feelings. Then he tells me that it would be alright to come back over. So at 3am (after curfew and everything) I walk back across town to Luc's house. He met me about halfway, and with his mohawk, pink Adicts shirt and cut-off army pants, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. He walked me back to his house with his arm around me, and we cuddled on his couch and fell asleep to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. *win*
Aaaand I didn't go back home until Monday. sweatdrop
Over that weekend, I fell completely in love with Luc. I didn't mean to do it, and I didn't know it when it happened, but it did. We talked about everything, about staying together while he was away, waiting for each other and what we were going to do when he got stationed somewhere. He wants me to come wherever he gets stationed. We talked about how fast it seemed our relationship had developed. He kept telling me he didn't have time to mess around with random girls, and that if he was going to do something he had to do it then because he didn't know when he was going to have the chance to again.
It's been 3 weeks and Luc's written me twice, and told me he loved me. He told me that wherever he gets stationed, he wants to know if I'll come with him. I told him I'd go anywhere he was.
It's been 3 weeks, but he still have 5 more weeks of basic training in Illinois, then about 4 months of schooling in Pensacola, Florida. That's very far away from me, in Oklahoma. I'm moving to North Carolina in the summer, but that still doesn't bring me to where I want to be, which is with him.
I've been critisized by all my friends, they tell me I'm stupid for putting so much faith into this relationship, because the distance will ruin us. I don't believe a word they say...they weren't there, they didn't hear the words Luc said to me, they didn't read what he wrote in his letters and poems.
But I'm looking for the opinions of others, which is where you guys come in. What do you think?
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:02 am
Well, out of my own experience, I'd say your friends to have a valid point. I'm not going to tell you to break it up though, since you won't listen. I once had a long distance relationship, and I'm not going to do it again.
Well, if you want this to work out, you'd better be prepared to spend a whole lotta money, time and effort, and be prepared to get emotionally attached in a way that will quite frankly leave you devastated when and if (though I'm leaning more towards when) you break up. You're going to have to spend a lot of money on travelling if you want it to work, as well. Not to mention that you have to stay in constant touch with each other, since you can't use closeness to further strengthen your bond. If you do manage to maintain the relationship though, it'll probably be very strong.
Summary: If you want this to work, you've got quite a lot of work ahead of you, not to mention that you probably don't know as much about him as you think. If you manage to stick together, great. If it falls apart, that's good too. Then you'll at least know what it means, and will be more careful in the future.
And please, the pink is hard to read...
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Duncan_the_Soulknight Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 5:45 am
My experiences say that it'll fall apart, too. However, as the previous guy pointed out, there are ways for you to keep the relationship going strong even still.
Much as he said, it'll take time, money, and commitment. Depending on your age, it may be pretty hard to come by any of those (because let's face it: young people like to experiment with a lot of different people. razz It's EXTREMELY hard to go against the instinct when it happens to overwhelm you so often). Though if you have what it takes, I see not why you should give up hope so early as according to the rest of your friends. After all, if you have the means to make the ends meet, then you'll be good to go. smile Just bear in mind, however, that it may take more than just a few months to get back together, and to remember that you'll have to work extremely hard for it. Otherwise, you may not meet him again because he's being stationed where you can't reach him.
It'll definitely be a long road ahead of you with this one, but if he's everything to you that you claim, it'll be worth it, no matter the difficulty. smile Best of luck to you two. <3
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 10:15 am
If you both stay faithful to each other, you won't have many problems (speaking from personal experience). It's not like an ordinary relationship, though. So be prepared to do things out of the ordinary to keep your mate.
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 1:13 pm
Going from everyones opinions:
It will be over if (A) You or him are un-faithful. That's a give in. And (B) if you or him don't work your hardest for it. (Cause seriously, he can't expect you to do everything to stay in touch, and nor can you expect him to do so either. You have to meet eachother half way. >.>)
surprised
People like to think of themselves as hard working people, but that's what usually gets them. Somewhere down the line they give up, or don't put there all into something, and it comes back to bite them.
Work hard enough for anyything, and it's yours. Though, a lot easier said than done. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 8:28 pm
 Plastic stars, in our private galaxy...
thanks guys...as for the time/money/commitment thing...being in basic, the only way for us to stay in touch is through letters, until he goes to Florida, then I think he should be able to call and get online. I have no doubts that we'll stay faithful, he can't really do anything right now anyway, lol...and I have no interest in anyone else.
...synthpop stars, come and play a show for me.
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Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 9:46 pm
do you know his parents well? if you do, ask them if you can go to his basic training graduation with them. my brother's wife went with us to his, and they had a semi similar situation, cept they had been dating for a while before he left, and they got married right after he finished his school. if you are willing to be faithful to him, you won't have to worry about him being unfaithful (specialy cause he won't really have time to mess around while he is in basic and school anyway). i think it could work, and like neko said, be willing to meet half way like you did that first night, then make the journey together.
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:38 am
Rigas do you know his parents well? if you do, ask them if you can go to his basic training graduation with them. my brother's wife went with us to his, and they had a semi similar situation, cept they had been dating for a while before he left, and they got married right after he finished his school. if you are willing to be faithful to him, you won't have to worry about him being unfaithful (specialy cause he won't really have time to mess around while he is in basic and school anyway). i think it could work, and like neko said, be willing to meet half way like you did that first night, then make the journey together.
I don't know his parents very well, but his mom did call me the other day to tell me he called her and asked about me and such. But I've been thinking about going to is graduation, if it's possible.
You guys are amazing and your advice is right on, thank you. <3
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