However, the newest stuff will always be in Italics (this is Italic).
Last update: 7/30 2006
My Random Entries =D
~ ~ ~
See, there's this boy I like. Erh... He doesn't know that I love him and I don't think he loves me. But sometimes, at some momments during school, I think he likes me. It's really wierd...
He's kind of a goth. Well, he's trying to be... But I don't think he's much of a goth at all. Sure, he's favorite color is black, but my third favorite color is black and alot of people like black! Sure, he got black shoes. Sure, he got alot of black T-shirts. Sure, he got alot of black jeans or pants. But of course, he has black hair. And blue eyes.
Also, his favorite band is Metallica Marilyn Manson Slipknot. I'll say... Heavy Metal? Well, I don't mind. My dad had alot of heavy metal, classic rock, plain rock... All those kind of cd's when he was a kid. Well, that's the kind of music he was listening to. So, I don't mind. The things he likes I'm use to them. And some, I like or even love! Example, he like anime, mangas and so on! What about me? If you know me good, you know I love anime!
And, he got that little 'guiltch' that I love. His smile is pretty large too. But he smile like anything I never seen. I like him.
~ ~ ~
He is in my bus! That's mostly when we really get the chance to really 'talk' together. But that's only when he sit at the back We now got asigned sits, and he's brother David isn't there at the back and Mohammed too... If one of them is there, we don't get the 'chance' to talk...
~ ~ ~
Well, he's kinda average. To be honest, (now that I think of it) he only talks when he was something to say. (which comes to be only facts... Like pass things that happen, movies or music. (that is about the subjet of course.)) So, I don't really know what he's good at.
He's not the kind of guy that would just give his phone number to anyone. Or even his house address.
*sigh* What's wierd is that before I move, I could talk to anyone about what I thought. Ideas, likes, dislikes... I could talk about video games to girls & boys. Now here, only the boys likes video games. And if I talk to one of them about the video for a time, -Ooooouuh! Victoria likes 'insert name of the boy here'- So, that's another problem. I can't us the another boys to get closer to Marc. (yes, that's his name. *blushes*)
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Wed Feb 01-02, 2006
Crunchy news turning into mushy pushy news...
Marc rejected me without knowing it. Even if he didn't say a single word, he rejected me. I'm now heart broken. Sorry guys... My love for him is now painful. Just awful. I know, it's not the first guy I've ever loved but he was different! Please don't ask to tell the whole story. I just.... Can't... Maybe later if I feel better... But not today... Seriously, I've never fought it would be like this...
((the next entry))
I'm not sure how I can arrange this... What we'll my mom think about me going out with a boy she doesn't really know... My mom is protective you can say. So the only time I can talk with Marc is at school. But there, lets just say it's not the best place. Thought, I almost know where he live and he is in my bus, there's also his older brother... David -_-;;
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Tue Mar 07, 2006
Eek! I... I got news!!!
Last week, me and Marc kinda... Talk with the eyes.... You know what I mean! It happen in the bus... OMG!! I need to tell someone about this! *ahem* Read below.
Mohamed was kinda making fun of my life, also in a disgusting way... (experience or influance? I don't wanna know!) And he doesn't even know me! Well, some guys in the bus fought it was funny. In a way, Marc didn't. He figuered(?) Mohamed behind his 'head' meaning 'not funny, that's a really lame joke Mo'. Mohamed didn't notice, but I did! I look at Marc while he was looking at me... Smiling!! Of course, I smile back and he keep smiling. We stare for a few seconds for it seems to me it was an entire 5minutes!! And we 'talk' with our eyes. He 'toll' me to ingore Mo, he's just sick minded, never mind him. I 'answered' yeah, I know. (I never like Mohamed anyways*, so he knew I understand) And it was such a momment!!! Me, Marc... *sigh* I kinda protected me in a way...
*I hate Mohamed thought but not just because it makes fun of people(not just me), even sometimes people he doesn't know and he 'trained' my brothers mind at the beginning of the year. Infact, he is sick minded! And he watches porn over the internet.
~ ~ ~
Random Notes
It would be easier for me if I knew if Marc loves me.
I'm only 13yrs old, mom wouldn't let me go out with a boy and dad would start making silly jokes.
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Wed Apr 12-14, 2006
*gaps* I... I... *gulps* I accuatly sat with Marc on the bus!!
The trip to his house (because he gets out first), seemed really shorter thought. I wish it could have been forever... And ever... And ever..... And ever........
((the other entry))
I'm gonna try to sit with Marc, again. By accident, of course. So he doesn't realize I feel good and protected when I sit beside him, and that I love him. *dream sight*
~ ~ ~
My friend, loves Marc too. Almost all the class knows that. But nobody knows that I love Marc. So, talking my friends about my love for Marc is an absolute no. In the bus I can't tell him I love him because there's Mo and Marc's big brother, another absolute no talky. And in school, I can't talk to him much because first there's my friend who love him as well and school isn' the best place. I though since I can't really talk to him, I was going to make him kinda like a note with my feelings for him on it. With my name on it maybe.
~ ~ ~
Love is a strong word to use, but before I even meet him or even when I knew him I had crush, all kinds of crushes believe me. When I realized I loved him, that I wanted to go out n' stuff, the night of that day before going to bed I told myself that I will not have silly crushes anymore! I try to him, but then everytime he comes close my hearts beats fast and his blue eyes kinda... Freeze me up. This never happen to me before. I use to word love because I kinda ''know'' I love him dearly.
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Tue May 30, 2006
Yesterday, when Marc come at school he... he.... He had a tie!! Wow. Well, now P3(I'm calling her like that) who is my friend who liked Marc as well but I didn't I loved him..... Said ''Wow. Have you seen Marc? He's... Well, ugly with that. Why would he wear it!?'' And how she kinda's not-like-him but likes him a bit, I'm sure of it. I can read her face. And no.... It's not a tie like you would wear on a fancy day. It's a black and red tie. But, I fough it look cute on him. So that's that. An amzing fact, ties on t-shirts look good on him!
Second, today after gym(who was the last class of the today), when I got out of the girls I said to myself '' Should I? Yes! This is my chance!! But... Okay... I should. Should I?'' and anyway I pass him but at the door I said '' Marc? I got a question.'' I turn around and went towards him whee heart whee ''If you would tag yourself, what you be?'' Or something like it cause for some reason me doesn't remember. o.o Well after I ask, I saw a terribly cute face ''What are tags?'' 4laugh Of course I explain in... Exactcly three words. Yes, three words and some simple gestures. And duh he understand. Anyway he said oh! And then started saying this flash that flash this flash that.... And..... On my face I did the 'okay...' [removed](the one with a smile). And I cut him and said, ''Okay, only the main one.'' and he said ''skater flash punk'' and smiled and laugh(you know, sometimes when you laugh you let out a 1sec laugh?). I did the little smile laugh too and.... I'm not sure what I did in the 10 next secs before getting out of the gym. And when I got out of the gym well I when to my locker and put my gym bag in it. I already had my bag with me cause I prepare it before gym class. So I grab it and P9(yes, another girl I haven't talk about but she doesn't like Marc so anyways...) she ask me if I could type her project tonight(I'm accuatly doing it right now lol) and said sure, and then Marc came -he was going to his locker- and he said ''Why did you ask me that?''. And it just came out, ''I just wanted to know, you seemd to change alot latly.''. Like that, I didn't think before saying it. I did wanted to know, curiously I am, but I didn't want to say the last part!! Now he's supecting me...............................I think. ^^'' Well, again, thats that. A cute little talk don't ya think? My heart is warm telling it heart heart heart
~ ~ ~
Phew! Two months I haven't posted! So much news!!
First, Marc..... Died his hair!! But omg with his black pants and shirts, black hair matches his clothing. The thing is, it looks good on him so I don't really care. And he's still the same on the inside, right? Anyway, thats that. The good news for me, my friend that I've mention before(P3) stop liking him!! Finito with her crush on him. So, I was all happy. Now I could love him and no one would call me names and such for stealing my friend's crush(even if he doesn't like her back). But then, another girl, who is also my friend had recently broke up with her bf ((and she's three grades older then him)). And her bf(well ex now), was and is a friend of Marc, the guy I love. Her ex followed Marc kinda... He dyed his hair like a week after Marc did and some other stuff. So, my friend was sad cause he dump her, she cried for some time. But then, she goes and tells us she's other it and loves Marc, the guy I secretly love since it seems ever!! Of course, I hadn't told my friend that yet. And now again, I didn't want to tell him I love him cause then they would call me names... *sigh* The big thing is, they're kinda going out. Till the end of the school year... Now it's summer but ya know I haven't seend them so I have no idea. Also, Marc can skateboard so the next thing I knew at lunch they were outside and he was kinda teaching her how to skateboard!! Everyone was like, "they look so cute together!!" or "Have you seen Marc and Stacy?!" and "Stacy loves Marc, and we know Marc does love her but he won't admit it!!" and stuff like that. Soon afterwards, they go to a movie together. I just don't know now... My friend was crushing on him I didn't want to make it look like I'm mean, so I didn't tell her I love him too... Afterwards she realize she really doesn't like him and Marc is free again. Sometime pretty soon after, another of my friends loves him and soon they kinda go out. And everyone commented that they look so cute together and so. So I haven't told any of my friends I love him, because I know they'll call me names and stuff.... I just can't do it with them knowing it.
Also, ***g2g brb to come finish this!!!
~ ~ ~
See, there's this boy I like. Erh... He doesn't know that I love him and I don't think he loves me. But sometimes, at some momments during school, I think he likes me. It's really wierd...
He's kind of a goth. Well, he's trying to be... But I don't think he's much of a goth at all. Sure, he's favorite color is black, but my third favorite color is black and alot of people like black! Sure, he got black shoes. Sure, he got alot of black T-shirts. Sure, he got alot of black jeans or pants. But of course, he has black hair. And blue eyes.
Also, his favorite band is Metallica Marilyn Manson Slipknot. I'll say... Heavy Metal? Well, I don't mind. My dad had alot of heavy metal, classic rock, plain rock... All those kind of cd's when he was a kid. Well, that's the kind of music he was listening to. So, I don't mind. The things he likes I'm use to them. And some, I like or even love! Example, he like anime, mangas and so on! What about me? If you know me good, you know I love anime!
And, he got that little 'guiltch' that I love. His smile is pretty large too. But he smile like anything I never seen. I like him.
~ ~ ~
He is in my bus! That's mostly when we really get the chance to really 'talk' together. But that's only when he sit at the back We now got asigned sits, and he's brother David isn't there at the back and Mohammed too... If one of them is there, we don't get the 'chance' to talk...
~ ~ ~
Well, he's kinda average. To be honest, (now that I think of it) he only talks when he was something to say. (which comes to be only facts... Like pass things that happen, movies or music. (that is about the subjet of course.)) So, I don't really know what he's good at.
He's not the kind of guy that would just give his phone number to anyone. Or even his house address.
*sigh* What's wierd is that before I move, I could talk to anyone about what I thought. Ideas, likes, dislikes... I could talk about video games to girls & boys. Now here, only the boys likes video games. And if I talk to one of them about the video for a time, -Ooooouuh! Victoria likes 'insert name of the boy here'- So, that's another problem. I can't us the another boys to get closer to Marc. (yes, that's his name. *blushes*)
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Wed Feb 01-02, 2006
Crunchy news turning into mushy pushy news...
Marc rejected me without knowing it. Even if he didn't say a single word, he rejected me. I'm now heart broken. Sorry guys... My love for him is now painful. Just awful. I know, it's not the first guy I've ever loved but he was different! Please don't ask to tell the whole story. I just.... Can't... Maybe later if I feel better... But not today... Seriously, I've never fought it would be like this...
((the next entry))
I'm not sure how I can arrange this... What we'll my mom think about me going out with a boy she doesn't really know... My mom is protective you can say. So the only time I can talk with Marc is at school. But there, lets just say it's not the best place. Thought, I almost know where he live and he is in my bus, there's also his older brother... David -_-;;
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Tue Mar 07, 2006
Eek! I... I got news!!!
Last week, me and Marc kinda... Talk with the eyes.... You know what I mean! It happen in the bus... OMG!! I need to tell someone about this! *ahem* Read below.
Mohamed was kinda making fun of my life, also in a disgusting way... (experience or influance? I don't wanna know!) And he doesn't even know me! Well, some guys in the bus fought it was funny. In a way, Marc didn't. He figuered(?) Mohamed behind his 'head' meaning 'not funny, that's a really lame joke Mo'. Mohamed didn't notice, but I did! I look at Marc while he was looking at me... Smiling!! Of course, I smile back and he keep smiling. We stare for a few seconds for it seems to me it was an entire 5minutes!! And we 'talk' with our eyes. He 'toll' me to ingore Mo, he's just sick minded, never mind him. I 'answered' yeah, I know. (I never like Mohamed anyways*, so he knew I understand) And it was such a momment!!! Me, Marc... *sigh* I kinda protected me in a way...
*I hate Mohamed thought but not just because it makes fun of people(not just me), even sometimes people he doesn't know and he 'trained' my brothers mind at the beginning of the year. Infact, he is sick minded! And he watches porn over the internet.
~ ~ ~
Random Notes
It would be easier for me if I knew if Marc loves me.
I'm only 13yrs old, mom wouldn't let me go out with a boy and dad would start making silly jokes.
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Wed Apr 12-14, 2006
*gaps* I... I... *gulps* I accuatly sat with Marc on the bus!!
The trip to his house (because he gets out first), seemed really shorter thought. I wish it could have been forever... And ever... And ever..... And ever........
((the other entry))
I'm gonna try to sit with Marc, again. By accident, of course. So he doesn't realize I feel good and protected when I sit beside him, and that I love him. *dream sight*
~ ~ ~
My friend, loves Marc too. Almost all the class knows that. But nobody knows that I love Marc. So, talking my friends about my love for Marc is an absolute no. In the bus I can't tell him I love him because there's Mo and Marc's big brother, another absolute no talky. And in school, I can't talk to him much because first there's my friend who love him as well and school isn' the best place. I though since I can't really talk to him, I was going to make him kinda like a note with my feelings for him on it. With my name on it maybe.
~ ~ ~
Love is a strong word to use, but before I even meet him or even when I knew him I had crush, all kinds of crushes believe me. When I realized I loved him, that I wanted to go out n' stuff, the night of that day before going to bed I told myself that I will not have silly crushes anymore! I try to him, but then everytime he comes close my hearts beats fast and his blue eyes kinda... Freeze me up. This never happen to me before. I use to word love because I kinda ''know'' I love him dearly.
~ ~ ~
What I posted in a online journal Tue May 30, 2006
Yesterday, when Marc come at school he... he.... He had a tie!! Wow. Well, now P3(I'm calling her like that) who is my friend who liked Marc as well but I didn't I loved him..... Said ''Wow. Have you seen Marc? He's... Well, ugly with that. Why would he wear it!?'' And how she kinda's not-like-him but likes him a bit, I'm sure of it. I can read her face. And no.... It's not a tie like you would wear on a fancy day. It's a black and red tie. But, I fough it look cute on him. So that's that. An amzing fact, ties on t-shirts look good on him!
Second, today after gym(who was the last class of the today), when I got out of the girls I said to myself '' Should I? Yes! This is my chance!! But... Okay... I should. Should I?'' and anyway I pass him but at the door I said '' Marc? I got a question.'' I turn around and went towards him whee heart whee ''If you would tag yourself, what you be?'' Or something like it cause for some reason me doesn't remember. o.o Well after I ask, I saw a terribly cute face ''What are tags?'' 4laugh Of course I explain in... Exactcly three words. Yes, three words and some simple gestures. And duh he understand. Anyway he said oh! And then started saying this flash that flash this flash that.... And..... On my face I did the 'okay...' [removed](the one with a smile). And I cut him and said, ''Okay, only the main one.'' and he said ''skater flash punk'' and smiled and laugh(you know, sometimes when you laugh you let out a 1sec laugh?). I did the little smile laugh too and.... I'm not sure what I did in the 10 next secs before getting out of the gym. And when I got out of the gym well I when to my locker and put my gym bag in it. I already had my bag with me cause I prepare it before gym class. So I grab it and P9(yes, another girl I haven't talk about but she doesn't like Marc so anyways...) she ask me if I could type her project tonight(I'm accuatly doing it right now lol) and said sure, and then Marc came -he was going to his locker- and he said ''Why did you ask me that?''. And it just came out, ''I just wanted to know, you seemd to change alot latly.''. Like that, I didn't think before saying it. I did wanted to know, curiously I am, but I didn't want to say the last part!! Now he's supecting me...............................I think. ^^'' Well, again, thats that. A cute little talk don't ya think? My heart is warm telling it heart heart heart
~ ~ ~
Phew! Two months I haven't posted! So much news!!
First, Marc..... Died his hair!! But omg with his black pants and shirts, black hair matches his clothing. The thing is, it looks good on him so I don't really care. And he's still the same on the inside, right? Anyway, thats that. The good news for me, my friend that I've mention before(P3) stop liking him!! Finito with her crush on him. So, I was all happy. Now I could love him and no one would call me names and such for stealing my friend's crush(even if he doesn't like her back). But then, another girl, who is also my friend had recently broke up with her bf ((and she's three grades older then him)). And her bf(well ex now), was and is a friend of Marc, the guy I love. Her ex followed Marc kinda... He dyed his hair like a week after Marc did and some other stuff. So, my friend was sad cause he dump her, she cried for some time. But then, she goes and tells us she's other it and loves Marc, the guy I secretly love since it seems ever!! Of course, I hadn't told my friend that yet. And now again, I didn't want to tell him I love him cause then they would call me names... *sigh* The big thing is, they're kinda going out. Till the end of the school year... Now it's summer but ya know I haven't seend them so I have no idea. Also, Marc can skateboard so the next thing I knew at lunch they were outside and he was kinda teaching her how to skateboard!! Everyone was like, "they look so cute together!!" or "Have you seen Marc and Stacy?!" and "Stacy loves Marc, and we know Marc does love her but he won't admit it!!" and stuff like that. Soon afterwards, they go to a movie together. I just don't know now... My friend was crushing on him I didn't want to make it look like I'm mean, so I didn't tell her I love him too... Afterwards she realize she really doesn't like him and Marc is free again. Sometime pretty soon after, another of my friends loves him and soon they kinda go out. And everyone commented that they look so cute together and so. So I haven't told any of my friends I love him, because I know they'll call me names and stuff.... I just can't do it with them knowing it.
Also, ***g2g brb to come finish this!!!
~ ~ ~
Um... So...
- Please tell me what you think about all this ''relationship''.
- Advice, of any kind is helpful!!
- Opinions?
- Had a similar problem/relation? Tell me a about it, I wanna know!!
- ect.
Something like that. >w<
~Viki
