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 Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 1:00 pm
I have nothing against "cheesy love poems," but I try not to write them since they are in such great supply. 3nodding
I really need some feedback on this poem. In order to make this poem the best that it can be I need to know:
What you think the "meaning" of the poem is.
What the poem makes you feel.
Is the imagery helpful or confusing or both?
Engaged
I have journeyed--
moment after moment.
Through foggy fields
with corn stalks high.
My feet: ripped raw.
My hands: sewn with splinters.
Running from ghosts,
from dreams and from fears.
I tripped
and sprawled on the ground, tears feeding the earth,
You found me.
Your eyes, you face,
a joy to my jaded eyes.
You wrapped me with words;
sheltered me in your hands.
Immersed in smiles,
I feel summery and spunky.
You saved me from:
The toil, the trouble,
The burning of bridges,
And the building of walls.
For now,
there is hope,
Now there is healing.
Now there is trust,
And now there is us.
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:26 am
I'll start by saying that I like this.
What you think the "meaning" of the poem is: This is a beautiful poem about the sorrows and torments of being alone or even being in the conformity world of society, and being able to escape through love. (I could have this way, way off, but when you have to interpret poems in an English class, you read things into things . . .)
What the poem makes you feel: The beginning is fearful, you worry for the character and wonder what's going to happen.
Is the imagery helpful or confusing or both: Well, both. If you decide to take the poem literally, it's helpful. But in the symbollic sense, it can be both confusing and helpful. I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across there. Sorry.
Good job.
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Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:07 am
What you think the "meaning" of the poem is. The way kindness and a helping hand can rekindle hope in a person who's ready to give up.
What the poem makes you feel. At first it's very depressing, but halfway through the mood changes to a more hopeful, peaceful tone.
Is the imagery helpful or confusing or both? Helpful, in my opinion. It really gives a sense that you've been through a lot - by the way, I love that 'sewn with splinters' line.
Good work on this, anyways, and good luck.
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:17 pm
I really really liked it,
The one part I didn't love to itty bitty pieces was
"I feel summery and spunky"
I don't think it tied in as well
But it really is great
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Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2006 11:16 am
First of all, kudos. Great poem.
I believe that this poem represents how relationships that you believe will last start. The first part, in my opinion, describes your troubles that you are having with life and/or relationships. Life/relationships have left you in the past "sewn with splinters" and "feet: ripped raw" suggesting that you've tried your best to run from the problems, but it only causes deeper hurt. Around the time you thought you should give up, this person shows up that saves you from giving up, from blocking yourself off from humanity. Because he/she did, you are now "saved" and you trust no one else as much as you trust this person. You would be lost without them.
This poem reaches to me because it is the exact opposite of what I should have done, but never realized I should. (that is my problem alone)
Your imagery could use some balance. The first part of the poem, it presents a wonderfully dark and opaque world, but after this person finds you, the imagery switches from external to internal. This alone is not bad, because it shows that the trials of life became easier with this person beside you. However, you've abandoned what you began with. Maybe it sounds cheasy to you because there is somewhat a lack of imagry at the end of it. You've focused entirely on the love. But thats about it. Your imagery is still great.
Keep it up.
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