Welcome to Gaia! ::

This one is great. Really like the diction, a few typos, oh well. It doesn't sound finshed, but what is there sounds deep. I've noticed in your work, you like the theme of rage, heartache, and revenge. It shows you have a lot of strong emotion inside that you are able to translate into words. I like that.

That one was wonderful. My one question concerns the second line where it says 'toren'... is it suppose to say that? It threw off my reading, but other than that, it was great! Keep up the good work!

I´m starting to see a pattern in your work and I´ll a little... wor-ried. it's either immense heartbreak or raging fury in an abyss of death and destruction!!! But that's cool, people must have their own voice.

Sweet poem but I cannot picture why these things are happening, Yes I know it's to be continued but why are your charaters always half dead or half in agony or half heart broken? Just a simple question from a simple avatar with a paper bag over her head!!!

The burning rage (ending,)

As the fire grew,
My mind was toren.
I pushed on
My eyes burnt with tears.
I fought the darkness
As it tore my love away

I have fallen from flight
I was pushed away
Now that I need another
They are all gone.

Now my fight in vain
The wounds to many to heal
I hear the footsteps
I lean on the wall, covered in blood
The steps grew near
My pluse began to race.
I fight to stand still hidden by the wall.
Feeling the needle like pain stabbing into my back
I fall to see the blade stabbed tho the wall.
Is this the end?

I awoke the room a blur.
I was in a bed of satin
My wounds were covered
I look up to sweet eyes looking opun me.
Her gentle smile was relaxing
I fought to speak, only to cough of blood.
Worry shot quickly over her face
She wiped away the blood
"Don't speak, Your wounds are many."
I now with what i could to this beauty.
I shut my eyes to rest away that crisom red sea.

My dreams of seas of darkness crisom red rains.
I was alone, never to find another.
I Walk upon the sea, the rain falling over me
washing away my happiness
This was the dark of my life now
I wasn't sadden only blind with rage
I will end the others.
I will avengen my love.

Darkness of Sorrow.

Now aheal again like a new life again
I set out in the hell of my own make.
I fight the good fight then for my reward
A frist class tricket to hell,
Lost with other damnned souls in the darkness
The only light the shadow of pain and hate.

Breaking tho the shadow of darkness and sorrow pushing the dead as sheilds of Fleash and Bone.
Lost in the abyss of sorrow.
Everything is to begin and end within this sorrow
everything unwritten and forgotten.
Only remains is that of the faces of the dead and the waster of their lifes.
Nothing but the dull light of freedom
which cannot be reached.

We fight on in a vain hope of freedom
We are damned everything in us dark,
Blood and gore is a nothing to us.
We fight to break free but I' am stuck,
A spear of glass, the broken of the raw glass now within me.
My heart races I lay still on the ground.
Is this were it is to end?

Tore apart.

I awake in a room of darkness with only one light of blood red.
Before me, my leg lay on the ground bleeding freashly.
My left arm lay atop the leg also freashly cut and bleeding heavly.
My right hand holding the cut wound
in a vain hope to stop the bleeding, blood coated my hand.
I hear the Beast returning the lound thud of his feet and the shake of the ground.
I glomp blindly in the darkness, hidding from the beast.
It steps into the light grabbing the cut leg
eating of it like a chicken leg looking with deep red eyes to find his pery.
The beast walks to me sharply grabbing me up by my leg.
Then speaking in a deep booming voice
asking if I wish to die today.
I speak back vainly in a hope to live to be free.

The beast luaghs darkly ripping away my remaining leg
then eating it like a bonless chicken wing.
I bit my leg to hold back the scearms
As my remaining tore apart body scearms with pain.

No death to bless me from this pain, no releaf from the pain.
I crawl at the ground with a bloodly hand
Vainly running from the light with only one hand.
I drag my tore apart body into the darkness blindly.
Fighting for freedom from the beast, from the pain.
Now lost within the darkness
the beast returns standing in the light.
The walking to me grabbing me up by my middift.
in the deep booming voice he speaks as he ripps my arm away.
"do you still want to live, still want freedom?"

I speak back in a hope, Yes,
He luaghs darkly again.
Dropping my back in the light,
The beast is gone again.
I still am not blessed by death
the pain my onyl friend now.
I lay still on the ground,
I cannot move only look to the ground and hear the dark whispers
they tell me, to end the pain, give up
I shake my head and weep softly
The beast Returns
grabbing me up in one hand turning me to face him.
Speaking in the deep booming voice which is now my nightmares.
"Do you belive me evil? Do you wish for my death?"

I speak back in a voice of pride.
"No, I belive you a beast of the creator.
He made you this way, he made you do these things.
It is not you evil, it was what made you evil."

The beast looked at me shocked,
dropping its head and spoke with a different tone
Almost soft...
"That is the first words upon these ears that were not of hate.
Are you a saint send to tell me these words?"

I spoke back softly,
"no I am a Man of god, and I understand your pain.
to end life is all you know living in this hell.
I hope one day you find the peace you should have."

The beast's head rose with a nod, grabbing my head in his palm.
"I am sorry..."
WIth a quick snap the beast ended my life.
sending my body into his mouth
eatting deeply, as it almost sobbed.

The end.

thank you Mela