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Darsh Engel Will Vice Captain
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 Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 12:16 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 12:17 am
grr the paragraphs are not indented, oh well sorry folks, I reall do not want to try and fix it. Please just note that on my version on word there are actuall paragraphs.
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Darsh Engel Will Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 12:31 am
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 12:44 am
Thank you for reading it. Do you have any sugestions, I am thinking of editing it some more.
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Darsh Engel Will Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 1:30 am
Having re-read it it is fine as it is. May need a bit more punctuation. But I am no expert.
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 2:16 am
um.. what inspired this? the end thing?
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Darsh Engel Will Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 2:24 am
the last paragraph starting with Dallas is suposed to be a newspaper clipping....as for inspiration it was a discution about euponasia(SP)(assisted suicide for those termanaly ill and unable to live a normal life) and The death penalty.
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 2:28 am
hum.. I dont know.. its just so.. split.. like it talks about so much.. it could use to be a little longer an expanded in some areas.. but if you do that it probly wont sound as great.. which mean... its great the way it is whee heart
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Darsh Engel Will Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 2:33 am
dude dont call me dude hum.. I dont know.. its just so.. split.. like it talks about so much.. it could use to be a little longer an expanded in some areas.. but if you do that it probly wont sound as great.. which mean... its great the way it is whee heart which is what I was thinking of.....expanding the areas dealling with the diffrent personalities.
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Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 1:54 pm
Very odd. Its interesting and I liked it alot. I would have added a few more details to a few parts but none the less its really good -^^-
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