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 Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 1:57 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:01 am
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 12:02 pm
I liked it, but you need to describe the setting and characters more. I couldn't get a picture of any of the characters, so I couldn't remember or tell the difference between any of them. It would also help people remember the characters if you introduced them more slowly instead of all at once. Also give more backround info. so the reader has a clue what's going on.
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 9:12 am
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Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 1:40 pm
This is very interesting to read. It's a little confusing though, especially at the beginning. Maybe a little background information would help. I like the dialogue, though, and the characters are interesting.
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2005 8:53 am
Thanks for your comments! I've been editting, but I want my friend to read the changes before I post them... unfortunately, she's away for a few weeks, but once I get the changes approved I'll put them up! Hopefully it will allow for a more pleasant reading experience biggrin
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