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 Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 6:36 pm
Hey everyone, you may not remember me, since I was gone for a long time.
Well, while I'm normaly someone who (tries to) helps others, I need help myself.
I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. While I'm doing well right now, last week, and the entire month before it were some of the worst day's I've had in a while. I've been discovering new things about myslef that make we worried for my saftey, and that have caused extreme emotional pain.
You see, I've just recently realized that I'm not happy being male. I feel that my body is wrong for my brain. I've been going through breakdowns, and it's been causeing hell on my grades, and my sanity. And the kids at school are no help. Everyone hates eachother, and they're always fighting with eachother. I'm sick of seeing conflict between my classmates, and I'm sick of people instigating fights.
I'm really not sure what I can do. My psychologist don't believe that I have the problems I feel I do, because I wasn't showing signs of it earlier.
but the time I felt that I was transgendered was around the time I finally conquered my ADHD.
I really don't know what to do right now. I'm more confused then ever, and I just have no output to my problems anymore. Nothing is being solved and It's stressing my out..
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Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:04 pm
Well, luckily, you have the rest of your life to figure this out! I'm sorry you're going through this. I have a MTF transgendered friend (post surgery and hormones) that I consider to be one of the bravest people I've ever met. It's not easy to deal with gender issues, and I feel like I take my satisfaction with my gender for granted. Take your time learning your gender role. As you discover more about yourself, you may be able to work towards a permanent solution.
Kids at school are very frustrating, always. I wasn't free of them until I left high school. You'll just have to find a way to cope until then, I'm sorry. Sometimes changing schools can be helpful, or focusing on activities outside of school. You might need a new Psychiatrist, too, since they're just ignoring your issues.
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Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:31 pm
[Kudzu] Well, luckily, you have the rest of your life to figure this out! I'm sorry you're going through this. I have a MTF transgendered friend (post surgery and hormones) that I consider to be one of the bravest people I've ever met. It's not easy to deal with gender issues, and I feel like I take my satisfaction with my gender for granted. Take your time learning your gender role. As you discover more about yourself, you may be able to work towards a permanent solution. Kids at school are very frustrating, always. I wasn't free of them until I left high school. You'll just have to find a way to cope until then, I'm sorry. Sometimes changing schools can be helpful, or focusing on activities outside of school. You might need a new Psychiatrist, too, since they're just ignoring your issues.
And I just had a mental breakdown today.
Today, a kid punched through a window, there was nearly a fight in the hallways, and a kid was slammed agianst the wall an choked, all in three periods.
Good thing is I have my gender psych tommorow, and I'm going to ask my mom to let me get an outfit to wear in private.
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 2:29 pm
Chaotic Fury I have my gender psych tommorow, and I'm going to ask my mom to let me get an outfit to wear in private. Good luck! I hope it helps you feel better!
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 4:11 pm
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 1:56 am
Your mother sounds awesome and understanding. And "bah" to those who don't appreciate hair.
If I had a hint that a therapist I was seeing thought I was just making stuff up, I would walk out and never go back. Yes, sometimes you may perceive things that are not really happening, I do that sometimes, but the experience is real to the person experiencing it, even if it's not to anyone else. Any good therapist knows that experiences are worth taking seriously as they can be deeply uplifting or disturbing.
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 5:56 am
Shaviv Your mother sounds awesome and understanding. And "bah" to those who don't appreciate hair. If I had a hint that a therapist I was seeing thought I was just making stuff up, I would walk out and never go back. Yes, sometimes you may perceive things that are not really happening, I do that sometimes, but the experience is real to the person experiencing it, even if it's not to anyone else. Any good therapist knows that experiences are worth taking seriously as they can be deeply uplifting or disturbing.
I'm bad like that. D:
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 12:33 pm
I envy you. I get mad pretty easily, especially if I'm worn down already. I just don't take it out on people.
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:03 am
Shaviv I envy you. I get mad pretty easily, especially if I'm worn down already. I just don't take it out on people.
A:Loud and more than 3 people are talking at the same time.
B razz eople harrasing other people.
Or C razz eople hurting or talking about hurting animals, or actually hurting them.
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 11:17 am
Geez, your school sounds bad... eek
It's awesome that your mom's so understanding, though! Yay her!
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:10 pm
La Veuve Zin Geez, your school sounds bad... eek It's awesome that your mom's so understanding, though! Yay her!
And I'm never seeing my school ever again! WHOOPIE FOR MOVING! blaugh
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Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 5:45 pm
Sounds like you've taken some really positive steps! Two of my good friends are MtF transexual, and they're pretty darned awesome. It's taken a lot of bravery, time, and self-knowledge... but they're both much much happier post-transition, though there have been some issues with stigma and prejudice from stupid asshats.
Good luck to you! If you'd like to locate some good TS internet groups, I can get you some links.
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