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 Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 8:59 pm
From hell to heaven, fron here on Earth give me death and no rebirth.I'd choose to die than sit and cry. I'd do this with no regret nothing to remember so nothing to forget.The moments I'll count before I go are like no substance ever shown.A souless toy a tainted heart the pain of a brused soulis lovely to know that there is something inside.My body is numb to weak to smile to hurt to scream.Yelling voices never end no shoulder to cry on no friends to fall back on.
From heaven to Earth to hell let me go.From painfull life to hot fire gloden gates and dead desires. With a sinfull life to I'd go to burn.So take me now, no one would care so invisible not like I'm there.Let me go futher that far till I fall....
Cheesy ending but I didn't know how to end it. I'm a dark person so a dark poem fits me I'm am NOT going to kill myself.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 4:53 am
mirror-phantom ...I'm am NOT going to kill myself...
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 7:59 pm
It could always just end at the "I'd goto burn." part. the ending now just doesnt really fit, you know? All in all, its a good poem, and a good thing you aren't killing yourself.
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Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:31 pm
It was an interesting poem- usually subjects involving death are, so that was a good choice.
Grammatically there were a few errors (such as from being spelled fron) but nothing a read over shouldn't fix. Punctuation was pretty good, though I think this piece could use a few commas. I like how it sounds like a poem when read. Good job!
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