Krell Vaco
(this was a school project but I like how it came out so I'd like to share it.)
With the Gentle gaze of your eyes upon me, I
reminber the coming of the tears. The sorrow that was love lost, you begin the walk to me. My mind opens as I see your gentle eyes, as you speak I' am lost in you, your beauty. I speak soft and true as your dress is brushed stright for you to sit.
"My name is Krell, The only prefect guy. I' am caring
went in need, I' am sweet
went I speak. I cook, I work, I' am without flaw. I cry
went the sorrow is at a burn. I write
went the passion is at full poems of beauty, poems of care. I' am without flaw, I know how to repair a car. I how how to move the stars. The only think I can't do, is live without you. A moment with you in my arms is greater then a life time without you."
For these sweet words of self all I
revied was a slap across the face.
Okay, I color coded the typos.
Red-Here you put 'reminder', but I think you meant 'reminded'
Green- When you said 'went' , I think you meant 'when'.
Blue- Last thing, on the last section, you said 'revied', and I think you meant 'received'.
It was good besides the typos, and a little funny. I really liked it. I hope you got a good grade on it in school.
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