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 Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 7:06 pm
General
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Walks on water.
Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.
Colonel
Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline.
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks to God.
Lieutenant-Colonel
Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds.
Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
Major
Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy.
Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical.
Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.
Captain
Can sometimes handle firearm without shooting self.
Is run over by trains.
Barely clears outhouse.
Dog paddles.
Mumbles to self.
Lieutenant
Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised.
Recognizes trains two out of three times.
Runs into tall buildings.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings.
Talks to walls.
2nd Lieutenant
Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
Plays in Mud puddles.
Studders.
Officer Cadet
Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out.
Says: "Look at choo choo!"
Not allowed inside buildings of any size.
Makes good boat anchor.
Mere existence makes God shudder.
Sergeant-Major
Catches hyper sonic armour peircing fin stabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them.
Kicks bullet trains off their tracks.
Uproots tall buildings and walk under them.
Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture.
Is God.
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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 9:38 am
no offence but thats gay question
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Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 7:40 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:48 pm
funny but I know a few sergeant majors that are more like a captain or officer cadet (mostly the latter)
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Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 5:01 pm
ive heard a similar one about band
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Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 8:33 pm
I liked:
Lieutenant-Colonel
Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds.
Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.
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Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 12:28 am
i liked :
2nd Lieutenant
Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
Plays in Mud puddles.
Studders.
rofl
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:57 pm
admiral of the navy, admiral, vice admiral, real admiral(upper half), rear admiral(lower half), captain, commander, luetienant commander, luetienant, luetienant junior grade, ensign (officers)<_ /_> enlisted, master chief fo the navy, master chief, senior chief, chief, petty officer 1st class, po 2nd class, po 3rd class, seamen airman constructionman fireman, seaman apprentice etc, seaman recruit...._> warrant officers 2,3,4, and 5
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 5:03 pm
HEY ADD THIS Quote: BE MY LITTLE GENERALBe = Brigadier General = 1 Star My = Major General = 2 Star Little = Lieutenant General = 3 Star General = General = 4 Star You should also make something for General of the army = 5 star and General of the army of the United States = Unknown Insignia
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:24 am
john harper Officer Cadet Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out. Says: "Look at choo choo!" Not allowed inside buildings of any size. Makes good boat anchor. Mere existence makes God shudder. Explains why they keep telling me to use paper clips instead of staples when I hand in my reports.
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:19 am
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Reply
