|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 12:05 am
The Street was empty of everything except myst. The wind was still. Not a single noise could be heard. All of a sudden, a man broke through the myst. He was running as fast as he could, but he knew it wasnt enough. An ear-splitting shreak split the slience. The man tripped. As he struggled to get back up, A black slimy hand with long claws reached out of the myst for his ancle, but he escaped it's grip. He began to run again. He turned a corner, and quickly looked back. Thin, narrow, red eyes glew in the myst. The eyes were close to the ground, as though their owner were crawling very fast. The man began running again. He arrived at the doorstep of a house. He opened the door, and slammed it shut behind him. He Ran to the basement door, and ran down stairs. The front door broke into peices behind him. Trembeling in fear, the man hid behind the space behind the newly put in wall. He was able to peak out through a hole in the wall. The shreak split the air once more, shards of the basement door flew down the stares. Soon, the creature began to crawl down the stares. His whole body was covered in black slime. It had a head simular to a skull, except the eyes and teeth, which were long and razor sharp. It's chest was thin skin strapped over it's ribcage. It's back legs curled up like a grass hoper. It got half way down the stares then jumped down. The floor shook. Black steam simmerd from it. It had several long black hairs on it's head. Allmost as though it had known the whole time where he was. it turned and looked at the man through the hole. Then It pounced on him, flying through the wall. It tore into the man's flesh. Everything faded black.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 3:37 pm
Please? just a lil feed back?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:49 pm
whee thats rathere creepy for me becose i hate thing that croll on the florr low low to the floor like thos monsters in slippy hollow 2 whin u hitthim *twitch* i like the triping hahah clasick rofl
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 7:35 pm
Fetus_Muffin whee thats rathere creepy for me becose i hate thing that croll on the florr low low to the floor like thos monsters in slippy hollow 2 whin u hitthim *twitch* i like the triping hahah clasick rofl Thank you, I love the positve critisism.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 7:55 pm
not bad and it wasnt to wordy it was great
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2006 6:13 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 7:08 am
Dude! That was great man! Im gonna be putting up some stuff soon, I dont think Im quite as good as that, But Hey =3.. good job. 9/10 for great word choice and scareing the shiznitz out of me heh X3
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 4:55 am
Nice, short, and precise. I would like to read more about this creature.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:20 pm
The Bijoux Nice, short, and precise. I would like to read more about this creature. well once I'm done writeing my stories, I'm gonna make a thing that expalins all the montsters
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|