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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 7:40 am
ALL YOUR LIES
Tell me why you cry And i'll tell you why i died
Tell me why you left me all alone
You said that a guy would never come between us You lied.
A guy is why i never see you, never hear from you, and why i don't know If your even alive.
You said we were friends... Was that a lie?
You said nothing would ever separate us...
Was i really your friend, whom nothing would separate you from... Or was i just a distraction between guys... Like a toy, to be left when something better came along?
All you've told me were lies, that you'd never go back with him, that Nothing would separate us... And now i hate you more than ever, BECAUSE of those lies.
This Poem Doesn't hold relevent anymore because the friend I wrote it about is back. I know it's not perfect, but I wanted to get my feelings down, and to me, that was more important.
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 11:37 am
I deleted the repeat thread you made.
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Childhood Dreams Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 4:22 pm
It's not too bad, though it's very informal. You refer to the person as 'guy' not even 'man' and it breaks the tensions, and such.
You might want to keep in mind using proper grammar and punctuation, also. <3
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Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:03 am
When I was writing this, I thought the important thing was to get my feelings down on paper. It's by NO means the best thing I've written.
To Childhood Dreams: Thank you. I so didn't mean to post it twice...my computer was acting up.
*looks back up at poem* I thought I proofread it better than THAT! sweatdrop
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