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 Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:03 am
I was talking to my friend on the phone yesterday and we got in to a poetry kick. These two poems are what I came up with.
Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time,
So many stories say,
As they fill your ears with fairies,
And promise to take you away.
Once upon a time,
Is what I long to hear,
The beauty and the magic,
I?ve come to hold quite dear.
Once upon a time,
On a cloud I drift away,
For life cannot be,
As so many stories say.
(Line 3 of stanza one may be changed to:
As they fill your head with fantasy.
What do you think?)
On the Sea at Night
On the sea at night,
There has been many a fright,
But also many a happy time.
Sunsets start the graceful night,
Upon the sea of blue.
Though every night was a horrible night,
Until the day that I met you.
Now the night brings joy to me,
My sweet little one.
You?ve joined my heart with bliss and glee,
Happiness and fun.
Now live my joyous little one,
You I?ll always love.
But you must leave my sea alone,
And stay away from me.
You are of a different world,
Of happiness and glee,
I can not stay with you,
So leave my fearful sea.
What do you think of these?
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 5:40 am
I thought they were both very good, but the second one I thought sounded weird at the beginning because you start with a 3 verse set up and then switch to a four verse one. Oh, and for the first one I like the line about fairies better than the one about fantasy. Of course, they have have to do with my love for fairies, but either one sounded good, I just liked the fairies one best! Good job!
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2005 7:06 pm
Thanks. I think I like the fairies line better too, I just wondered if it sounded wierd when you said, "fill your ears with fairies." When I wrote it, that was fine, and then I read it and pictured someone stuffing someone's ears with little screaming fairies... And the second one, the three to four thing, I do wierd things like that every once in a while, I use the first stanza as kind of an introduction to the others which are different. Thanks for commenting.
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2005 10:21 pm
wow, realy good, i never get to make poems like that. so cool!! i like that.
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 9:08 pm
The first one is me. It's like a friend of mine once said, "What have you done? You've stolen my soul through poetry!"
I did notice the odd first stanza in the second poem, but I thought the rest of it was nice.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 4:01 pm
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