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 Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:21 pm
Ok, I'm starting a fan fiction! YAAAY!!! This is from the Anime Inuyasha. I hope you enjoy! For every chapter, there will be 10 paragraphs, in seperate posts. Please do not post in the middle off my story, or else I will delete it!
Main Character(s): Sesshomaru, the taiyoukai, and Rin, the young human.
Rated: PG-13 For Cursing, Some Nudity, and Romance
~~1~~
Mysterious
Rin sat on the bench, swinging her legs back and forth. She giggled and watched the birds, trying to imitate a dove’s sweet coo. Suddenly, the back garden door slide open with a loud screech, and Rin jumped, turning around only to see Lord Sesshomaru’s top servant, an imp demon by the name of Jaken. Jaken said, in his usually high pitched and squawky voice, “Dinner is being served, Rin. Come.” He motioned for the 17 year old Rin to follow him, and they soon entered the dining room. Rin sat in her usual seat, next to Lord Sesshomaru, who sat at the head of the table. Rin spooned some food onto her plate, and ate, careful not to burn her mouth.
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:26 pm
Afterwards, Rin went to take a bath. She stripped, and sunk into the warm waters. She glanced out the window, a smile playing on her lips. She giggled and hummed a song. She quickly finished, and slipped out, wrapping the towel around. She slipped into her bedroom and raided her closet to look for a night-kimono. She finally found a plain white, thin kimono. She slipped it on and looked at herself in the mirrow. She was surprised at how revealing it was. She just blinked and shrugged it off.
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:35 pm
::Morning::
Rins eyes fluttered open, and, with a yawn, she reached to pull the covers off of her, but found that they were strewn out on the ground. She sighed and picked them up, making her bed. She took another quick bath and dressed in a very form fitting kimono. She slipped out into the halls, heading to the dining room for breakfast. She sat down, in her usual seat, and looked around for Sesshomaru. She sighed when she didn't find him. She had really wanted to talk to him today. He always seemed away at a meeting or something.
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:40 pm
Suddenly, Rin felt a tap on her shoulder, she jumped slightly and turned to see Kriccy, one of the maids. "Lord Sesshomaru would like to see you in his study, Lady Rin." She said sweetly and smiled. Rin stood and bowed, "Arigato, Kriccy." She scurried off, and after walking a few flights of stairs, made it to Sesshomaru's Room. She knocked and their came a monotone reply of "Enter." She slippedin, and Sesshomaru glanced at her. He motioned for her to sit, and, with a bow, she took a seat. "You called for me, M'Lord?"
"Rin, know that you are older, I would like to see you practice sword fighting." Rin's eyes widened and lit up with excitement.
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:46 pm
: biggrin ojo::
Rin, after failing many times,managed to weild a sword and dagger correctly. Now all she had to do was fight. Sesshomaru pulled in one of his weaker warriors, and told them both to fight. He stepped back to watch. Rin, weilding her small dagger, quickly switched it with her sword. She held it up diagonally, ready to strike or block. The guard charged, and Rin managed to jump out of the way, taking the sword and slashing the shoulder in the side. The wound was small, yet deep, and the soilder
clutched his side. Rin suddenly felt something from the sword pulse, and, out of instinct, she placed the sword diagonally across her face, and called, "Soul Stealing Wind Strike!" She took the sword and moved it briskly, creating a jiant gust of wind that headed straight for the soldier. There was a screech of pain, and a loud thump, as the soldiers dead body colapsed on the ground, soaking in a pool of blood.
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:56 pm
Rin shivered and looked away from the dead body, while Sesshomaru couldn't beleive what had happened. Although, his face and eyes showed no emotion, his mind was drowning in thoughts of what possibly happened. That was, until he felt a light tap on his shoulder. His head shot to look at Rin, who was staring at him curiously. Thats when he noticed it. Demon fangs, small white dog ears, claws, and a white fox-like tail. Her eyes stared at him, and she blinked. "Umm, m'lord. W-What happened to me?" She said, shakily. Sesshomaru glanced down at the sword, and lightly took it from her grasp. She imediatly turned back into a human. "Sesshomaru-sama, w-what happened?"
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:59 pm
Okay, I'mm leaving you here! I know, this was short, but this is just the beginning. I've already started teh next chappie. Whee, night peoplez!!!
BTW, Please comment! I have 8 posts to go till the next page, and anyposts beyond the range will be deleted. Gomen(Sorry)!
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 1:42 pm
Ooh, very nice! You had very few grammatical errors (*Makes me very hapy that someone listened!*) And the storyline was clever, now, I shall be honest, I know nothing about Sesshomaru and Rin, and I don't really know much about people's writing styles, but I noticed that the scene was more following Rin, but showed more of Sesshomaru's thoughts... that can be very confusing to readers, but otherwise, that was very well written, and I am impressed, hurry up on the next chapter! I cannot wait!
(On a quick note, there was something else I noticed, I am glad that you rated the story PG13 from the nudity you said, usually, that is only a bad thing if it is a movie, so long as you aren't describing the situation of the indecency, it isn't a bad thing that you did warn us, so thank you for warning the readers anyway! ^_^)
Oh, yes, you need a grade, don't you... OK, Ano... (um...) well, the following Rin, yet showing Sesshomaru's emotions kinda confuzed me, otherwise, it was really good, I would have to say, em... yes, a 9.5, 95%, A grade! You did very well!
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 4:46 pm
Yay for me! biggrin biggrin biggrin
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 4:49 pm
Yes, I am very proud of your works! And I am a tough cridict, I don't always give out As, so be happy! ^_^
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