Welcome to Gaia! ::

The sound of chaos was in the air.

Ruki Makino opened her eyes. She was within a blue sphere of light, surrounded by rings of data. Beyond the sphere, she saw the remains of what was West Shinjuku, what was not covered by a large pinkish mass that seemed to jiggle like jelly. It scared her at sight, though it took a moment to remember what it was.

The D-Reaper…

She looked around. On the roads of Shinjuku alongside her were three other figures. There was a knight in gleaming white and red armour, outlined in gold. In his left hand he held a shield with a strange symbol, and in his right was a smooth metal lance, pointed at the pink menace. A red cape fluttered behind him, and his visor had a strange red creature lined on top.

Dukemon…

The second figure was robotic, chunkier, and definitely larger than the other figures. His body was made completely of green metal, and he stood higher than a five-storey building. Upon closer inspection, there were boxes that jutted out all over his body that contained explosive missiles. Two large missiles rested on his shoulders, about to be fired.

Saint Galgomon…

The third figure was slight and donned in blues and whites. He had a right arm of metal and a dome-like mask covering his face. A red fabric of sorts was tied around his neck, leaving both ends fluttering in the wind. His arm was extended out, and a glowing blade was flicked out, ready to strike out at any part of the enemy that came near.

Justimon…

A strange creature approached them, bound to the pink mass by a vine-like attachment. The creature itself was grey, with spiral arms and pods that came out of the main body. It raised an arm as though to strike at her, but she found herself raising her hand and smiting the arm with a strange golden staff, with golden rings.

“Rice Cord!” she heard herself saying, but it was merged with another voice, a familiar one. At her command, a cord appeared, constricting the body and disintegrating it until it was gone. She then moved forward, but she wasn’t on the ground any more. She was soaring in the air.

Renamon…

Right now, the people around her, and herself, were the only ones who could stop the mass from devouring their whole city. She knew it. She knew they could do it. Ruki could feel the power flowing through her, and she knew the battle would end soon. She never lost. She couldn’t lose, not now.

Oh, really? a voice whispered in her head.

“Who’s there?” she said, out loud.

“Ruki. Is there something wrong?” Ruki heard Renamon ask her, but she didn’t immediately respond. ”Ruki!”

“Huh? Oh, there’s nothing…” she said absently. I know you’re there. What are you doing?

I’m just the messenger, the voice continued. You know full well why I’m here. I am the messenger of doom, Ruki Makino. I am sure you are quite the intelligent young girl, so I know you know what I will tell you. You will fail this mission. Everyone will fail. And do you know why, Ruki? It is because you will drag everyone else with you.

I won’t fail. You’re just spouting a bunch of lies.

“Ruki? There’s something you’re hiding from me. Tell me what it is!”

“Renamon, there’s NOTHING, okay? We’re just going to beat up this D-Reaper and we’ll be on our way. This is the final battle! We’ll be fine.” Ruki wasn’t so sure about her words anymore, though. Would it really be okay? Would they really be fine after?

“Very well. If you do not wish to tell, so be it…”

“Sakuyamon! WATCH OUT!” Ruki snapped around to see who it was that called her. She saw Dukemon flying towards her, lance pointing towards her. What was wrong? She then turned to see that in front of her another of the D-Reaper’s agents was coming after her. It was too fast… she wouldn’t be able to react –

“Final Elysian!”

A beam of bluish light came flashing in front of her, barely missing her face. Ruki saw the agent disintegrate in front of her eyes, turning to her saviour. She couldn’t believe she had let her guard down. She’d never forgive herself about it! She used to think it was Renamon making their partnership weak, but she realized that all along, it was her who was doing it…

“Thank you,” she found herself saying to the knight.

“Ah, it’s not every day you save your dream girl,” a voice said through Dukemon, chuckling. “Especially when she’s not usually needing saving, either.” Dukemon was the result of a biomerge between Guilmon and his Tamer, Takato Matsuda. It was Takato who had just spoken, interjected with Guilmon’s “Huh?”

“Takato, this is no time to be making jokes!” another voice said, this time through Saint Galgomon. Jenrya Lee and his partner Terriermon had biomerged to make the large Ultimate level digimon. “We have a large blob ready to eat our city and all you can think of is one prod at Ruki?”

“Aww, Jen, give the poor guy a break!” the other half of Saint Galgomon, Terriermon, spoke. “He’s taking a stab at Ruki, and he knows the opportunity won’t come again for a LONG time. Besides, we can take as much time as we want waiting to beat up the D-Reaper. It’s just waiting for us to come…”

“You take that back!” Takato yelled.

A chuckle came out of Justimon, or to be specific, Ryo Akiyama, who was part of Justimon, along with Cyberdramon. “As funny as that is, I think we need to get going. Jenrya’s right. Let’s get moving, shall we?”

Suddenly, a wave of agents rushed them, breaking up the temporary happy moment. They all knew it would have been broken eventually, but Ruki really wanted to dwell in that moment. Now she would have to hear the voice again. The voice that was telling her the bitter truth…

No! It’s not true. If I believe that it’s not true, then it isn’t!

Ah… that’s the tactic that you took in the digital world, wasn’t it? You can wish for anything to happen. Well, welcome to the real world, my dear Ruki. Face it – you’re weak compared to everyone else. You’re just being a weak link in the chain. And we both know what weak links mean… a broken chain. Shall we test out that theory?

Ruki witnessed a large vortex forming in the center of the D-Reaper, threatening to suck in the surrounding materials. Unfortunately, that happened to include the regular dose of digimon. She could only stare in wonder and horror as it began to attract her friends towards the hole. I have to hit that vortex to seal it away!

Just as she was going to fire, Saint Galgomon was sucked closer in such a position that there was no way she could fire without hitting him. She hesitated, waiting for him to move out of the way. He did move out of the way, but it wasn’t the way she wanted him to.

Oh no! “Renamon, can’t we do anything?”

“We were too late. They have already begun disappearing into the vortex. If we fire now, we risk hitting them as well.”

Ruki could only watch helplessly from inside her blue sphere as Dukemon and Justimon also suffered the same fate. She heard their last cries as they disappeared into the insides of the D-Reaper, where they had almost no chance of surviving.

“Justimon! Dukemon! No…” Sakuyamon fell down to her knees, Renamon obviously feeling as useless as she was. But it wasn’t Renamon’s fault. I was holding her back. I bet she would be so much better off if I wasn’t there to burden her…

A wave of energy hit the lone ultimate-level digimon in the street, threatening to disintegrate both Ruki and Renamon. They devolved into their separate forms, prone to attack and weak from the sudden blast. How could I have not seen that one coming? I’m so useless… Renamon… I’m so sorry…!

But before Ruki had a chance to voice her thoughts, Renamon was also starting to get pulled into the vortex. Strangely, she wasn’t moving at all. How come I’m not moving? It’s the D-Reaper. It’s taunting me! In her mind, she knew that the D-Reaper had no personality and couldn’t be capable of knowing about ‘taunting’. But she felt like it was. She quickly grabbed onto Renamon’s paw, pulling her back with all her strength.

”Ruki! Let go – you’ll get sucked in as well! Hurry and get back to the others. They can help you, and that’s something I can’t do for you right now!” Renamon told her. Stubborn as always, Ruki refused.

“Renamon, I can’t let you do that! We’re in this together. We can change our destiny, right? That was what you told me. I’m going to change it right now!” Ruki continued pulling, but deep inside her heart, she knew that her words were lies. She knew that it was futile, but it wasn’t like she had anything else to expend her energy doing. Finally, the vortex proved too strong for Ruki, and Renamon too spiralled into the hole. The force died down, leaving the whole ground bare.

See what I mean? You have failed. You failed your friends, and you failed your partner. You should have listened to her while you had the chance, because now your death will be slow and hard, unlike your friends, who got it over quickly.

My friends aren’t dead. They’re probably beating the D-Reaper inside out right now!

Then, pray tell, what is this?

At that moment, something shot out of the D-Reaper, landing a few metres in front of her. Ruki couldn’t believe her eyes. It was the shield that Dukemon wore on his left arm, but she could barely recognize it. The symbol was almost completely wiped off, and the shield was so crumpled it lost its original circular shape.

“No… I won’t believe it… I WON’T BELIEVE IT!” Ruki yelled in the air, but a tear slowly formed and rolled down her cheek. “No… this can’t have happened… it didn’t happen…”

Now, now, Ruki, it’s not like you to be so imaginative. I thought you liked to keep things simple and real, so I’ll do that for you because you don’t seem to be able to right now. Your failure caused your friends to die, Ruki Makino. None of this would have happened if YOU weren’t there to seal their fates. Now bid farewell to your own pathetic existence…



“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Ruki Makino woke up in a fevered sweat, panting, coughing. Opening her eyes to a dark ceiling, she slipped out of her bed and turned on the light. It took her a while for her eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness, but after she turned to her door and opened it, leaving her room.

She entered the bathroom, turning on the tap with cold water. Splash after splash of water went on her face, but Ruki couldn’t seem to cool the sweat away. Finally conceding, she grabbed the face towel off of the rack and rubbed her face vigorously, drying off every speck of water and sweat.

What was that dream?

Ruki thought about it, but she couldn’t make the thought go away. She knew that the D-Reaper had been destroyed three years ago, so why was she dreaming about a battle that never existed? And what was that voice? It was telling her she was a failure… that she had failed everyone…

It’s probably just a bunch of nonsense. I never paid attention to dreams, so why start now? Besides, it’s still dark. I’d better get more sleep.

Why are you denying it, Ruki Makino? Even out of your dreams, I am still speaking the truth. You know you fail everyone who needs you. You will fail at everything you try to do. Your mother, although she hides it, she really is disappointed in you. Your friends, although they laugh and joke, they never really accept you as part of the group. They still think of you as that cruel, heartless girl who attacked their partners for no reason whatsoever…

“No, they don’t,” Ruki said out loud, as though that saying things out loud would make them more valid. “Takato told me himself once – everything is in the past. I don’t believe you about any of this, and I never will!” With that in mind, she clambered back into her futon again, but she slept a fitful, dreamless sleep.



The sun was bright that morning. Rubbing her eyes, Ruki sat up in her bedroom to see Renamon leaning against the wall of the bedroom, looking at her intently. Ruki blinked. Was there something wrong?

“You were screaming last night. I should have come earlier… is there something wrong, Ruki?”

I can’t tell Renamon. I’m the one who let her down. It’s up to me to fix this.

“Nothing,” Ruki said nonchalantly. “Just a bad dream.”

“Ruki, you don’t usually HAVE dreams,” Renamon pointed out.

“REALLY! There’s nothing wrong! So what if I have dreams once in a while?” Ruki snapped, immediately taking her words back mentally. Sometimes she’d wonder why Renamon stayed by her side all this time when there were so many other people who were worth more than she would ever be…

She told me herself. She cared about me.

Really, now?

The voice was back.

Honestly, Ruki Makino, do you really think that is what Renamon wishes? You are such a blind fool. Renamon’s been tolerating you all this time, and you don’t show a shred of remorse in return. One day she’ll just get so tired of you…

Shut up! I don’t need to hear this from some disembodied voice!

But I’m not just some ordinary disembodied voice, Ruki Makino. You know whose voice this is…

She did. And she shuddered at every word.

“Come on, Renamon, we’re going to go to the meeting in the park,” Ruki gestured as she dressed. Finishing changing clothes, she folded up her pajamas and left her bedroom, running down the halls of her house.

“I’m going out for the morning!” she called out as she passed her grandmother’s house. Normally she probably would have included a ‘good morning’ for her mother, but she was off on an early photo shoot today. Modelling… Ruki shuddered at the thought. Well, she and her mother were just different people, but at least over the past three years they’ve been able to patch some things up.



Shinjuku Park hadn’t changed much since their fight with the D-Reaper three years ago. However, when Takato had rediscovered the portal, the Tamers decided it best to send in patrollers every so often to keep things in check in the digital world. Their weekend meetings were a place to gather and socialize about the latest developments. This was especially good for Ruki, who went to another school.

Running up the stairs leading to a small concrete cage-like building Guilmon called home, Ruki was greeted by everyone else in the group. She sighed. She hated it when she came last, because she knew she’d have to see Hirokazu’s and Kenta’s faces.

Everyone was already engaged in conversation when she arrived. Only a few of them acknowledged her arrival. Ruki sighed. How come everything related to her past suddenly began to come back to her? Her past as a loner… it was gone. She knew she wasn’t, so why did she keep thinking about it?

Because it still exists.

No, it doesn’t… it doesn’t!

Come off it, Ruki. You know you are just kidding yourself with that talk. Why won’t you accept the truth and get it over with? In the end, you are just hurting yourself more. Admit it – you are a failure in life. Everyone else will surge ahead, leaving you dead last.

No… No…

“Ruki? Is there something wrong?”

Ruki looked up to see a pair of yellow-lined, blue-tinted goggles. Moving her eyes down, she saw concerned brown eyes and a frown set on a face. Brown hair sat on top of the person’s head, and he wore his usual blue hoodie. Staring right back at her was Takato Matsuda, the resident Gogglehead.

“Huh? Oh, nothing…” she quickly replied.

“You’re hiding something, aren’t you,” he said, more like a statement than a question. “Maybe I can help.”

Ruki had always felt strange around Takato. It wasn’t that slight admiration, like she had of Jenrya, or the feeling of rivalry, like she had of Ryo. It was some kind of calm feeling, something that no one else could achieve, and it put her heart at peace. But she couldn’t understand why. And how come she was trying to get so close to Juri?

Maybe it was because Juri was always so close to Takato’s heart. He always cared about her… and Ruki always wanted him to look her way. She just didn’t want to mess up the friendship they already had, and now that she knew she was a failure, there would be no way for that feeling she felt to be reciprocated. She just knew it in her heart. So she couldn’t tell him anything.

“No, you can’t help. I can’t tell you,” Ruki said again, this time more firmly.

I can’t tell Takato. This feeling better not be what I think it is…

Dear, dear Ruki. I expected better out of you. You can’t even admit to yourself one small fact, because you’re scared of what others will think? Let’s say it together… you actually LIKE him, okay? And you know it. That strange feeling that clutches at your chest… it’s what you think it is.

Ruki was shaking her head, mumbling “No… no…” the whole time. Takato leaned in further, sitting down with her on the ground. Buried in her own doubts, Ruki huddled, repeating the two-letter word again and again. No. It isn’t. I can’t. How come? All I ever wanted was to have someone who understood me like my father did…

How sad. I never expected the Digimon Queen to crumble like this.

JUST SHUT UP!

“Ruki. Ruki. RUKI!”

Ruki looked to the side of her, where Takato had sat down. He was the one who had called her.

“Snap out of it! This isn’t like you.”

“And how would you know?” a taunting voice said. Next to Takato was another boy, this one wearing a visor and sporting a black t-shirt. Behind him was a large robot-like digimon, in brown metal. This was Hirokazu. Please… I don’t need to hear him now.

“Making your move, are you?” Hirokazu continued, nudging Takato, who looked significantly more uncomfortable than he was five seconds ago. “Or is this just a practise round?” Takato seemed to get increasingly annoyed, as his face turned redder. Ruki hoped that this wouldn’t go too far…

“Seriously, put a sock in it,” Takato muttered.

“Well, Takato, I never thought you had it in you! Congratulations, buddy.” Hirokazu smacked Takato on the back, as was customary of him, and grinned insanely. Ruki looked over at Juri, who didn’t seem to have heard any of the conversation. She was sitting with Jenrya, looking at Guilmon and Terriermon play.

“Just shut up!” Takato yelled.

Instantly, there was silence in the hangout. Even Guilmon and Terriermon stopped rolling around on the floor and sat up. Ruki reddened. This was all her fault. Takato was only trying to be a caring friend, and she had to go make a mess of it.

An opportune time to pull out the old ‘I told you so’…

You shut up too!

“Chill, man… I was just kidding,” Hirokazu said, backing slowly. “What’s gotten you all riled up recently? It’s not like you…”

“It’s nothing,” Takato replied coldly and promptly left the hangout. Guilmon, staring at Takato, followed.

The atmosphere inside the hangout now was anything but cheerful. If Ruki puffed her breaths out, she was sure that she could have seen the clouds of air, it was that cold. She didn’t feel comfortable here any longer. She saw Juri walk over to her, but she shook her head and got up, also heading to the door. Shoving the gate aside, she walked off, determined to find Takato.

You’re such a pathetic character, Ruki. I can’t believe you didn’t do anything back there… and Takato? He’s the one doing everything for you, and you still fail him. There’s no point in going after him now… nothing you say will be able to bring him back. You failed your friends, you failed yourself, but most of all, you failed the one you care about the most, the one dearest in your heart.

Ruki followed Takato silently, thinking about what that voice had just said. And suddenly she realized that the voice… the reason why it sounded so familiar was because it had taken the form which would hurt her most. The voice lingered in her mind all the time…

It was Takato’s voice.



“Ruki, won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Renamon said, phasing at the side of her partner. She was concerned for Ruki, that much Ruki could tell, but didn’t she know when to stop bugging her about these kinds of things? I thought we were partners…

You were. You’re just not keeping up your side of the deal.

What do you expect from me? What do you want?

Nothing but to see you fall down on your knees and just admit I’m right.

“Renamon… I can’t tell you.”

“Ruki, it’s not that you can’t tell me. You’re just not letting yourself tell me. You’re not believing in yourself.” Believing in myself? Believe that I can do what?

“You don’t understand!”

Renamon went silent.

“I can’t tell you because… because… “ Because then I’d be even more of a failure than I am now…

“Then there’s no reason to worry. However, if you really don’t want to tell me, Ruki, I won’t push you on it. Just know that I’m here.” She then phased out, off to somewhere where Ruki knew she would be watching. Walking alone, Ruki trod through the park, wondering what to say.

But all she could think of was failure. And she then blacked out.

“Ruki?”

Ruki looked up at the owner of the voice with empty eyes. She saw yellow and blue goggles, but she didn’t remember them. All she could remember was the voice that had told her she was a failure. That was all that was in her mind. Failure…

“Ruki, are you okay? You’re looking at me funny…”

How come this boy sounded like that voice? Why, was he trying to taunt her or something? Because she failed? Because she’d never be as good as him or anyone else? Because she let everyone else down? Her friends, her parents, her love?

“Ruki…”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll gladly say it again. You really are a pathetic person, Ruki.

No, I’m not! I’m not a failure! And…

And?

I’ll PROVE it!

“I’m sorry,” Ruki began, then remembering the boy’s name somehow, added, “Takato.” She paused. “I’m sorry for making you worry like this. I’m sorry that I’m such a letdown. I’m sorry that I had to make you leave everyone else when I wouldn’t answer you.” Why was she thinking of all this at once?

“Ruki, what are you talking about?” Takato asked, confused.

“I’m sorry for dragging you down! I just want you to look my way…”

“Ruki, you make it sound like I’m ignoring you! What have I done wrong?”

Ruki shook her head. Sometimes, she still wondered how dense Takato could be at times…

“It’s not your fault. It’s just because… because… because I care about you! I… I like… you…”

Takato looked stunned. Ruki could feel her cheeks turning red. I can’t believe I just said that… she twiddled her fingers, looking down at her shoes. She knew what he would say next. She could picture the whole scene in her head… he’d look at her with those brown eyes of his and say the dreaded words…

She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up.

“Ruki, don’t ever put the blame on yourself. You’re capable of a lot more than you think you are, and if you hadn’t been there for me all those times, I’d probably be dead right now. Please, don’t turn into some mindless freak because of me, because I’d never forgive myself for it. You have to believe in yourself!”

All she could was stare at him blankly. She couldn’t move.

Why do I have to be so helpless?

Because you are helpless. You are –

Ruki felt two arms wrap around her. She was so comforted, yet she felt so undeserving. She couldn’t keep herself up, and she collapsed in on Takato, still gazing with her empty, glass-like eyes. Why am I doing this? Aren’t I supposed to be self-reliant? Why do I…

It’s because I love him.

All at once, that voice disappeared. Ruki could instantly feel the atmosphere lighten up. She looked up at Takato, who was also looking at her, still concerned. Hesitantly, she placed her arms around his waist gently, locking them in an embrace.

And ever so slowly, a smile began to form on her face.

All along, I just had to believe…

[END]