Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'll have a read although, may not be able to let you know until the next day cos I have work now!!

Thank you both! I'm working right now at getting it finished up so I can get it up. ^^

I'd be happy to proof it for you as well. smile

I'll help you in any way I can, if you'd like. :]

“Falafel!” Jade squealed excitedly, leaning over Morgan’s shoulder and peering at the laptop screen. “Tell him to name it Falafel!”

Morgan looked at her curiously for a moment, and giggled. She put her fingers to the keys and began to type, then paused halfway through. “How do I spell it?” she asked in mild befuddlement.

Jade shrugged, and Morgan typed out the word phonetically. It wasn’t right, but it was close enough to name a nonexistent horse in an online RPG. She hit the enter key and watched the screen, grinning as the chat room erupted into laughter. Jade inched closer, waiting for the one response that was going to mean anything. The moments ticked by slowly, almost painfully as she waited. Then it happened. The red text popped up on the screen, spelling out the sentiments of the user trying to name his horse.

I hate you, Jade.

Jade and Morgan exchanged glances before both erupted into peels of girlish laughter. A few of the nearby patrons of the little campus café threw them dirty looks for disturbing the otherwise quiet afternoon. Morgan signed out of the chat, and shut down her computer as Jade slipped back into her seat and sipped her white chocolate and hazel nut steamer. Morgan looked at her empty cup and gave one last chuckle before looking up to the clock on the wall.

“You told him two o’clock, right Jade?” she asked with a sigh.

“Yeah, something like that,” Jade replied, her attention drifting to the song playing on the radio.

Morgan quirked a brow, again looking at the clock that read 2:23 PM. “You told him ‘something like’ two, or you told him two?”

“ Relax, Moe! You know what Darcy’s like: He likely forgot what time, and he’ll be here soon. It’s not like he’s ever on time for anything, any way, and you told your folks you’d call before we left, didn’t you?”

She was right. As brilliant as Darcy was academically, Morgan knew as well as anyone else that he was a flake. It was nearly the end of second semester, and he still forgot when half of his classes were, even if he had been in them since September. Slipping her lap top into its travel case, she looked up at the clock again.

“I’m going to give home a quick call, Jade, just to let them know we’re going to be late. Then I’m going to call Darcy to see I can’t get him mobile.”

“Kay-kay, Moe,” Jade said, giving her friend the thumbs up. “Do you think Ben really hates me?”

Morgan laughed. “Over what? Trying to name his warhorse Falafel?”

“Yeah. You don’t think he’s really mad, do you?”

Morgan looked her friend over for a moment. It was hard to believe Jade was a college junior. Despite her “sophisticated” glasses, and university clothing, Jade looked more like she was twelve than twenty two. The fact that she was barely five foot two didn’t help matters much, but Morgan couldn’t say anything. She was only five foot three, herself.

She was about to answer Jade’s question when the café door opened and Darcy slid in, his back pack slung over his shoulder and his toque pulled low over his face. He panted as he came to a stop, looking at Jade and Morgan with a sheepish grin. “Sorry, guys. I thought we were leaving at three tomorrow.”

Once Morgan made a quick phone call home, the three piled into Jade’s car and started out on the highway. Darcy was dozing while listening to his diskman, while the speakers in the car, affectingly named “Geush”, played a tape of mixed anime openings. Morgan had no idea what the singers were saying, but it was admittedly good driving music.

Jade wiggled in the drivers seat, singing along with whatever song was now playing, while Morgan stared out the window. It was mid February, and dirty snow banks lined both sides of the high way. It had been a bad winter for snow, and Morgan suspected that the banks were nearly as tall as both her and Jade together in some places. The snow made her wish she was spending her spring break somewhere warm instead of going home to house sit for her grandparents. Maybe then she’d get those readings done she kept putting off. Maybe, but not likely.

Between intermittent spurts of conversation, and trying to throw bits of napkin into Darcy’s open mouth as he snored in the back seat, Morgan thought about why she had to house sit. She had thought it strange when her mother had informed her that her grandparents were going to rent out the spare bed room that had always been Morgan’s when she was younger. To tell the truth, she more than a little put out that her room wasn’t hers any more, but with her away at university now she could understand the decision. And the tenant would be company for her grandmother while her grandfather was working. Goodness knew her grandmother needed more company around the house than just the cats, who she now talked to like infants and referred to as “Da Mom’s babies.” The tenant had been there for two weeks, and now her grandparents were taking off to visit one of Morgan’s great aunts for a week out of province, and likely a visit or two to the casino. However, they weren’t comfortable with leaving the young man in the house alone, which was why Morgan had been called in, and why she was bringing Jade along. There was safety in numbers. As she thought, the passing scenery melted into itself, just a blur of dirty snow and ever greens, a grey sky looming threateningly above them

-Slightly jealous.- blaugh

That is.. awesome stuff right there. Everything flowed so smoothly and I could picture everything perfectly in my mind. It was all very simple but it also had those certain spurts of descriptive depth that braught it all together. Well, for me, at least.

I also like it how you managed to capture their character right off from the start. I can all ready imagine them as real people, sitting inside of a cafe and laughing at that horse's name.

Wow.. gonk

Well, if youre asking for really harsh critisism...

I absolutely love everything, except for the dialog. Somehow it just doesnt seem very realistic to me. Im not a very big dialog person, I know there are books about how to improve it, but I can never really see whats wrong with it, except that its off.

Anyways, I love the descriptions and...well, everthing.