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Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:23 pm
This has bothered me for a while. If you had been dating someone for a while, and found out they were Pro-Choice, would that be immediate grounds for dismissal? Are there only certain circumstances in which you would stay with them? Or is it completely irrelevant to you?
Furthermore, if your girlfriend/wife got an abortion, what would you do? I mean, the obvious answer would seem to be dump her/divorce her, but then again, maybe you believe in forgiveness? Or she immediately regrets it and changes her ways?
And I know it's a slightly different situation with women, since a Pro-Choice male wouldn't be making the "choice" to get an abortion.
For me, in most cases, it would quickly end, if not right then and there. I'm sorry, I'm tolerant of the Pro-Choice side, and I can be friends easily with a Pro-Choicer, but a girlfriend? I mean, what if something happened and she got pregnant? I'm sorry, but I can't take the risk that my girlfriend would decide to get an abortion.
On the other hand, if it was someone I'd known for a while and/or I really liked, and she convinced me that she was "Pro-Life personal, Pro-Choice political," then maybe. But I would have to be absolutely certain that she wouldn't get an abortion. And if she did... I don't know. That's so mindblowingly disturbing a thought that I just don't know. I like to think that I believe in forgiveness, and I'd forgive her if she seemed sorry, but on the other hand...
Also, slightly unrelated, but it annoys me how Pro-Choicers don't really have to worry about this. I mean, real Pro-Choicers who support the woman's choice; If their girlfriend turns out to be Pro-Life, okay, that's a choice. If their girlfriend's Pro-Choice and has an abortion, okay, that's a choice too. If they're women and they find out their boyfriend's Pro-Life, it's still not going to affect whether she can get an abortion or not, even if it would add guilt and the complication of a likely breakup to the getting of an abortion.
Discuss!
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:42 am
Thank God my boy's a Catholic pro-lifer like me. XP
I wouldn't find myself in that situation, considering that I want to be of the same religious faith of the person I marry. For personal reasons.
Do Catholic pro-choicers even exist? I mean, like I said in my religious beliefs thread, why worship a God whose views contradict yours?
I don't like the idea of being with a pro-choice boyfriend. I'd rather marry a man that respects the bodily integrity of me and my child, as opposed to just me, and then totally neglect the young sacred fruit that is growing inside of me.
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:02 am
http://www.catholicsforchoice.org/topics/abortion/default.aspIt made me sick when I first read it. IN any case, I'm lucky. I"m a girl. I don't have to worry about being forced to lose my child because my partner is pro-choice. I dated a guy once who told me in no uncertain terms that if I got pregnant I'd have an abortion whether I liked it or not, but I decided that's more pro-abortion than pro-choice and doesn't count, really. If I was male could I date a pro-choice woman? No. Any choicer who's disgusted by that should remember that they're the ones who say, "He should have thought about that before he had sex with a woman who's pro-choice!" when confronted with the fact that the father has no choice and has to put up with his children being killed without him being able to stop it. Can I do it now, as a woman who's got control over what happens to my children? Yeah, I obviously do. I'm engaged to be married to a man who is most definitely pro-choice. I can't help it, I'm in love with him, and I don't need to worry about my children's safety. If I did, I'd have to choose what mattered most...the man I loved, or the children I might eventually have. I don't know if I could make that choice. If I knew that certainly my children would die, then yes, I could. But if it was, "Maybe," then...knowing me, I'd optimistically and rather foolishly hope to get lucky. How do you make that choice when you're in love? To say, "I can't be with you. I'm afraid for the lives of my children." Also, if Terje was different, like if he'd considerbeing with me if he thought I'd have an abortion, I don't know if I could. How can he love my babies, his babies, completely if he wouldn't care if I had them killed? If he's not willing to fight for the lives of his children in their earliest stages, how can I be sure he'll fight for them later on? From the moment I get pregnant, his focus should be on the safety of his baby as well as on me. If it can't be...if he can't feel love for his own child at any point in that baby's life...I don't know if I can have a life with him. A man who cannot love his own children scares me. Family is important to me, and if he can't love any member in his family, then he doesn't love me and our life together would be tainted. It wouldn't just hurt me, it'd hurt him, it'd hurt our children, and maybe even their children.
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:05 am
If I was male I could NEVER date anyone pro-choice or even wishy-washy on the subject. I'd be too afraid of my children being killed and then me looking like the bad guy for trying to keep them alive.
As it is right now I could never date a pro-choicer. I could never date anyone that says, "It's a-okay to kill someone for your convienience." no matter who it was about.
I have a hard enough time bringing myself to terms with the fact that chances are I'm going to have to settle on a non-vegetarian. XD
So far I've been lucky though somehow I manage to be surrounded by pro-lifers, most of the time. And if not, I convert them. Dx
XD
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:45 am
Lesse...date some one who electivly and on demand or for simple sufferign of the mother feel it is okay to kill a human being in a state that should be their safest, but has no become their most vulnerable?
Ummm...Hell no, damn no, s**t no, ******** no, shall I go on?
No, I could never date some one who was pro-choice by any standard other than for the mortal life of the mother. I have a hard enough time associating with pro-choicers...do you think i could actualy date one?
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 8:22 am
it really depends how pro-choice they are. if they are vehement about it, like some of the ones here, who'se name rhyme with the street name for a drug commonly cooked up in basements often ccausing explosions in their labs, then i wouldn't even be able to talk to them. but if they are pro-life personal and al that crap then it'd be fine. i'm not having sex until marriage anyway, so it really doesn't matter what their oppinions are on abortion because hopefully they won't be getting pregnant.
but anyway, if i had a wife who had an abortion, i would likely break down and cry. i would probably break up with her. i mean, honestly, if she can't respect my feelings for the life we consentually created, (and trust me, it would be well known that i'm not for abortion) and so blatantly killed our child... i can't see how i could forgive her for that.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:55 am
Except for one guy, everyone I've dated has been pro-choice or at least not definitely pro-life.
I even dated a woman who had an abortion, but in her case the fetus was very sick and near death anyways.
Put it this way: I couldn't date or even be friends with someone who didn't respect my point of view, e.g., someone militant who marches waving coathangers and yelling about keep-your-bible-out-of-my-crotch, etc.
If I held out for someone who shared all my political and moral views, I would die a friendless virgin.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:40 pm
Could I? Perhaps. If I can date outside my religion and still survive without feeling like I'm compromising my faith....I think I could date a Pro-Choicer.
It all depends on the guy really. Is he pro-choice because he's totally cool with whatever the lady decides and will support her....even if it means he becomes a daddy? Or is he pro-choice because he wants to fall back on legal abortions so he doesn't have to ever worry about supporting a child.
If it's the former, I'm cool with that. But if it's the latter I'd really be nervous, not just for any possible children but for my own sake, since his motives for being pro-choice are based on worry-free sex.
As long as he's supportive and at least respects my opinion on the subject, I'm cool with it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:24 pm
Well, I could date a pro-lifer..... Because I don't want to have sex and don't plan on it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:10 pm
..Le Chat du Noir.. Well, I could date a pro-lifer..... Because I don't want to have sex and don't plan on it. Not ever? eek Wow. Kudos to you.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:25 pm
I.Am ..Le Chat du Noir.. Well, I could date a pro-lifer..... Because I don't want to have sex and don't plan on it. Not ever? eek Wow. Kudos to you. rofl That's not what I mean, Watashi Wa! I mean, I'm not against premartiel sex, but I'm definitely not gonna have it. I'm at that immature stage where you're like, "EEEEEW!"
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:28 pm
Oooh, hahahaha. I'm not sure that it's just immaturity; As horny as I get, when I think about the process itself, it still seems disgusting and illogical to me. xd
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:31 pm
...Okay...
sweatdrop
Great job, I.Am!
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Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:03 pm
I have to say that it would probably be pretty easy for me to date a pro-choice male, since I'm gay, and neither one of us has to worry about abortion.
But if I was a straight male, I would find it kind of difficult to date a pro-choice woman. Especially a hardcore militant one who sees the fetus as a parasite, or something, and thinks that you're disrespecting women by being pro-life.
Maybe that's why I'm glad to be gay. I don't have to deal with all that woman's stuff, and all the moral relativism that comes with it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:05 pm
Beware the Jabberwock So far I've been lucky though somehow I manage to be surrounded by pro-lifers, most of the time. And if not, I convert them. Dx XD Yes, yes you do.
You crazy activist. heart
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