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 Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 4:49 pm
~*Miraiya's Peoms*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything is gone,
Do you relize what you've done?
Life is sweet when you have love,
But it can fly away like a dove.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
School is such a drag,
Cause my teacher is a hag.
She puts your head in a bag,
Then she starts to nag.
(I did that when I was bored out of my mind in school)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beautiful Sea
Clear blue sky on top of a beautiful blue sea
Sun shining making the water sparkle
Waves crashing upon the rocks
White foam washed up onto the shore
Beautiful sea!
Jellyfish tentacles swaying in the waves
Little crabs scurrying away
Seagles crying high above
White sand turned golden in the sunset glow
Beautiful sea!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mom,
There would be no me without you.
My heart would be empty without you.
Even though you may annoy me,
But please don’t ever leave me.
Because I love you,
And you are a specail person in my life.
~*Miraiya's Stories*~
(coming soon)
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:42 pm
oh! I like it! I'm not a huge poetry fan, so my coments might not be much help. I like it, but I think that you could have made it a bit longer, although short is good too. I think it's got a good idea, but it's begging to be elaborated on. The second line is a little shakey but other than that, it's good!
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 10:51 pm
hmmm i enjoyed it very much! i hope you keep writing and i hope that this was just a teaser of the poem to come because it is a good begining!
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Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 5:02 pm
Thanx! I would make it longer but I'm not a big fan of long poems.
I never could get to the end of one. sweatdrop So I tend to avoid them.
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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:15 am
short's good too! I really like the second one. it made me laugh... and the others are nice too.
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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:28 am
lol! Me too. ^^ I was really annoyed at the time. I really shouldn't direct it to the teacher since it's because some guy in my class just couldn't undestand something so very simple. sweatdrop
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