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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:09 pm
Hey I write more than I do anything. This will probably be somewhere where I put my poems, short stories and maybe essasy for school down for you guy's crtique. 0.o I might put a few chapters from my book's up also. heart
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 7:34 pm
I miss the way things used to be.
...the way that everything I saw reminded me of you.
...the way that we could sit quietly for hours and be perfectly content.
...the way my mind would reel every time you were nice to me.
...the way that a single touch from you would send a jolt through my body.
...the way that a smile or the rare hug from you could make my week
...the way that you missed me for me and not because you were bored.
...the way that by just being around you I felt luckier then everyone else.
...the way that we were best friends and that you explained that to me.
...the way that a hug from you meant more then a hug from anyone else I knew.
...the way that you would hold me when I needed it the most.
...the way that every time I would look at you I'd fall head over heels all over again.
I wrote this for an rp, but I really like it. *hands head* and it's kind of true>< Comments welcome!
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 7:52 pm
Aww...I love it. The only thing wrong with it is some spelling errors, but those are easily fixed.
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 8:03 pm
Edited!!! Yah I just forgot to run it through Word first><
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 12:02 am
i liked it! i like sweet! it was really good.
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 10:10 am
its good stuff, keep it comin! /cheer
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:33 pm
((This is the first chapter of the second book in the series I'm writting. The stuff in italics are the words of the shapshifters, or will be once I think up a word for them><. I know this sort of gives you a bad clifhanger and is long..but I'm not that good at fight scenes><.))
~Beginnings~
Razi rolled over and wrapped her arms around Ren, hugging him close. She brushed consciousness, not ready to wake up yet. Her movement had disturbed the rest of her companions in the Child’s Den, where all the young cubs slept, played, learned and basically spent all their time until they were around the age of six. Becoming more comfortable, she unconsciously shifted form to that of the tiger that was as natural for her as the human form she had used only moments before.
Razi is a werecat. As is Ren and the rest of the occupants of the Child’s Den. Razi lives in the world of Nrewas, a world of many strange and wonderful things. In Nrewas there are many more species of werecats, werewolves, werefoxes and other races. Nrewas is the world where the creatures the humans on earth stop believing in come. Sometimes they come for refuge and other times for the chance to live. Nrewas is in a time of trouble, but help is coming. Razi will be a pivotal key in helping this change come. But right now she is only 6 years old and just about to reach the end of her time in the Child’s Den.
Razi’s streak is one of the largest for her species, but her species is one of the fewest in Nrewas. Razi’s uncle is the Leader, or leader of her streak. He is uncle Tai to her, and is her father’s twin. Her father left, not able to face the fact that he was ____. Her uncle has taken Razi’s mother, Tora, into his den. She has taken him for her mate once, but she doesn’t fell that way about him. Her mother is a strong woman and is the head of the female warriors. Razi is next in line for the leadership, but only if the rest of the streak trusts her capability.
Watchful eyes were snared by Razi’s ease in changing. I wish I could change as easily as they can, the guard thought. The guard swiftly reprimanded herself for becoming distracted. She continued to scan the Wenges in the Den. Seeing that none troubled by more than dreams, she raised her eyes. She looked around, watching for any movement that would signal the movement of something that wasn’t supposed to be there. It was the hunting hour, before the deep dark of late night and before the hour of dawn. The sky was still dark but the hope of dawn gave many things the courage to venture out. Lynn turned slowly, eyes locked on a place she thought she saw movement. There, she thought. It happened again. The shadows had moved. Her partner on duty, Dilah, was at the other end of the Den, watching for intruders. She couldn’t call her, a whistle would tell the intruder that they knew it was here, and it could be a distraction anyway. Slowly Lynn strung her bow, and reached for an arrow from its case on her back. She rolled it in her fingers, careful about the feathers. She caned the rest of the room, checking to see if she was being snuck up upon. Nothing, Lynn was ready. She watched as the moving shadow came closer. The figure stepped out into the light from the torches. A black cloak was wrapped around its body, and a pale hand clutched it close. The body under the cloak was strong and powerful, in semi form but it still managed to hold power and grace on its shoulder’s like the cloak it was wearing. The figure walked the way one does in semi form, sort of a jockey, prideful walk, but somehow graceful. The hood covered its ears, but the tip of the tail could be seen coming out from under the cloak. The semi from was the form werecats wore in preparation for a fight. It was stronger than the human shape, but one could still look at things through a human perspective.
Lynn relaxed as she watched the figure approach. One couldn’t mistake the Denab of the warrior clan. She smiled as she saw Lynn relax, a malicious twinkle in her eye. “Very good, though I was there for a few moments before you saw me. Something caught your attention, though I saw you reprimand your self, so your punishment won’t be so bad.”
Lynn sighed. Sani did this every so often check on her warriors. Sani was an old word for mother; it was what the older warriors called the leader of the female warrior clan. She did it to make sure that they were on their toes, ready for anything and prepared for actually duty. But Lynn was curious, she was not new, so she wondered why Sani didn’t attack or do something else. “You’re not here to check on me. It’s something else.” Lynn said suddenly. She saw the smile on Sani’s face and she realized she had asked the right question. “Sani will you tell me?”
Tora had leaned forwarded onto the stone wall that was the boundary of the Child’s Den. She put her hand at the base of her neck, stretching it as she looked up. Her gaze fell back upon the Wenges. “What- No, who caught your attention?” She said avoiding the question.
“Razi.” Lynn looked back at Razi as she spoke, but quickly she turned her attention back to the perimeter. “She changed. It was beautiful, like flowing water. I love watching her change.” Lynn paused, hoping that she had made Sani fell happy. “I hope that her changes won’t be as hard on her as it is on some.” Lynn sighed, wondering why Sani was so depressed.
Tora looked at her children; Razi’s paws were wrapped around Ren, who hadn’t changed. She wondered what her daughter and son would be like when they were older. She turned around, back pressing into the stone of the wall. She looked out and watched for unwanted things. “I hope so also, but I doubt it. When a child slips so easily between forms, it usually means the change is painful, as are the adulthood changes. Yes, I came here for another reason, not to test you. Lynn, I’ve known you most of your life, I’m trusting you not to tell anyone what I’m about to say.” Tora said in a grave voice. And then she continued, not waiting to hear what Lynn would say.
“I had a dream about Tsie. He was still here; he-he sill loved me.” Tora stopped, gaining control of herself. She closed her face and sealed her emotions. She couldn’t brake down on Lynn’s shift. They would talk more later. “It’s just that I saw something happen to Razi and Ren. I panicked. I rushed out, ready to fight them; I didn’t even realize I had changed to semi form! I calmed down on the way her, but it was strange. It felt so real. All I could see was the blood spattered on their fur, the blood pooling around the bodies. I can’t get that picture out of my mind.” Tora sighed, and her body crumpled. She sat on the floor, holding her head in her hands.
“I’m worried. I don’t know what they will do if I die. And don’t say I won’t die Lynn. Nrewas is in trouble, no matter how much the streak wants to deny it. And the trouble will come knocking at our doorstep if we don’t prepare soon.” Tora looked up at Lynn. “Will you be there for them if I’m not?” She looked at her first student, her eyes pleading.
Lynn held Tora’s gaze, her own yellow gold eyes lost in hers. She nodded solemnly. “Yes. I swear. But I refuse to believe that I will ever have to back up my oath.” She broke eye contact and looked past the pillars holding up the roof. Dawn had broken as they talked. Lynn had only an hour until her shift was over. She bent over and reached down, offering her hand to Tora. “Now, what will you do with your new day?” She asked. It was something Tora herself had asked her trainees every day after the morning exercises.
Tora smiled. She pulled herself into attention and said in an even voice, “Make it what it can be, Ma’am!” She looked at Lynn, and softly added, “Thanks.”
Tora turned and was about to walk away, when she heard Lynn’s quick intake of breath. She was immediately on guard. Without turning around, she asked under her breath, “What?”
“I’m not sure Sani. I saw movement ahead. It looked like a Delion, but what are they doing here?” Lynn replied. She continued to look all around, but her attention was always called back to where she had seen the movement. She flexed her fingers that had traveled back to the drawn bow. She reached for an arrow, unable to remember what she had done with the last one.
“I do not doubt your capability, but I don’t think it would be a Delion. They have no business here and the races governed by the moon aren’t governed by anything else. But that itself could warrant a visit form the Delions and Meduites. I think that it could be a Chandra-”
At that moment a deer like creature burst thought the underbrush and ran through the building that housed the Child’s Den. It was a molten brown with orange and green streaks running along its sides. Both Lynn and Tora gripped their weapons. From the moment the deer like creature, which was a Franza, Lynn had had her arrow trained on him. Only about seven feet behind the Franza a tiger came bounding after it. It skidded to a halt when one of Lynn’s arrows missed its nose by centimeters. It turned to face Lynn and Tora, who both had their weapons trained on the unfamiliar tiger. The tiger’s hackles rose and its lips were pulled back in a menacing snarl that showed its two-inch long fangs. As they looked on, the tiger changed into its humanoid shape. When the transformation was complete, he stood there crouching in the most fearful of the semi forms. He was about 6 foot, but skinny. His arms and legs sported the muscles that made him stronger then the natural elf or other two leggers. His face was pulled back in a snarl of sorts, showing fangs shorter then his full tiger ones; these were only about an inch long. His eyes were the growing slits of a cat’s and from his cheeks; one could see the light of the sun reflecting off the whiskers. His ears lay flat on his head, and the tip of his tail angrily twitched back and forth. He looked with hatred at Tora and Lynn, ready to pounce on them, whether that would be a smart decision or not.
Tora looked at him; she could tell that he no longer had a streak. She had known that he was starving when he chased one of her streaks Franza out of the forest. She had known since the moment she saw him that he wasn’t one of theirs; his strips were unfamiliar. She stepped forward, her arrow knocked and aimed at his throat. “What do you want with the Franza of Crystal Rock Streak?” All hint of uncertainty was gone now, and again Tora stood as if she had her power draped around her like a cloak. She held her head high, and her hands never wavered. “You are trespassing on our territory, and you know it. You are under our jurisdiction now. What do you have to say for yourself? Speak truthfully; you are in the presence of the leader’s sister.”
The stranger, or stranger, looked up at Lynn and then at Tora. She pulled his lips into a form of a smiled and spat on her face. It didn’t reach her, but it was a testimony to her personality that she didn’t smile at his failure. She nodded her head and sighed. “Very well then. Lynn?”
Lynn didn’t need any prompting. Before he knew what was happening, she had Lynn in semi form on top of him with a blade coated in the only thing known to werecreatures that could inhibit them from changing. Lynn was an older tiger, and by far stronger, faster, bigger, and healthier then the stranger.
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:40 pm
It's really good. There were a few puncuational errors, grammatical errors and every once in a while there was a shift from third person POV to first person POV that seemed to disrupt everything.
Also, when a person thinks, try bolding to set it apart from regular text.
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:46 pm
*bangs head on table* I knew I had forgotten somthing. The thoughts are in italics on word, but it didn't transfer.>< grr I'll fix it tomorrow.
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:03 pm
Am I a changeling child? Was I switched at birth? Is that the reason I am so very out of place here? I twist and turn, trying to understand. Shaking my head, I pick up a book And dive onto the world where I should have been born. ...Where I might have been born??
Have you ever felt so very right so very...at home In a place where you've never been? How does this work, why does this work? Have I been here before?
I remember when I was a girl Just the strange little girl Before I found them All the stories... The ones that I seemed to understand and connect to... far better then anybody else.
Am I can changeling child??
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:53 pm
Changeling
Am I a changeling child? Was I switched at birth? Is that the reason I am so very out of place here? I twist and turn, trying to understand. Shaking my head, I pick up a book And dive onto the world where I should have been born. ...Where I might have been born??
The child writhes, troubled by doubt. She cries haunted by the confusion we have given her. She is always searching for us Trying desperately to see What we will not let her see.
Have you ever felt so very right so very...at home In a place where you've never been? How does this work, why does this work? Have I been here before?
We watch her. Waiting, whispering, watching Planning for what might come But how can we plan for what we Don’t know??
I remember when I was a girl Just the strange little girl Before I found them All the stories... The ones that I seemed to understand and connect to... far better then anybody else.
Is it possible that everything I’ve ever hoped for Is…(dare I say it??) True?
She’s close to knowing But what will she do? React like a human Or us??
My mind falls back to them Wondering which tale is closer to the truth Which one explains the unexplainable?
This is the last test Her actions choose the outcome Will she live out her days… With her true kin Or not??
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:56 pm
untitled
She sat there, red hoodie on, hood up. Feet together, legs pulled close to body chin on knees. Arms wrapped around legs, blank journal in one hand, pencil in the other. Tears fell silently down her cheeks, burling her vision of the drop and the rocks below. Blurring her vision of everything. But that was fine, she was watching her memories anyway, and not even noticing the tears. Perfect blue eyes flashed under long red/brow hair as a laugh echoed off the walls. Fingers clasping each other as the dim lights of a museum illuminate them. The sun reflecting onto the brown stones and white sand, waves crashing on the early morning beach. Wind blowing on top of a mountain, sketchbook pages flapping. Curled up, a body wrapped around her. The call, the tears, the black, the tombstone. The feeling of having your heart torn out, your body ripped in half. The girl opened the journal and wrote ten words. “was my life. And now I can’t go on living.” She closed the notebook and set the pencil on top of it. Taking her glasses off she set they next to the book. She then stood, put her hands in her hoddie pocket and walked off the cliff.
Some hikers found her about 30 minutes after she had jumped. She had fallen through some pretty dense trees and they slowed her down, allowing her to live. The ambulance came and took her to the nearest hospital, where they kept her alive and did all they could. Her mother and father stayed by her side as much as she could, but she was alone when she woke up. The girl looked around and realized where she was. Tears began to fall slowly down her cheeks as she wept for a love that was killing her.
((Gah I hate the ending...the last paragraph? it annoys me but i can't think of anythign that makes it better...))
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