Welcome to Gaia! ::

Just in case you've been wondering, yes my topics are mostly just for fun. Sure I take the advice seriously, but I know darn well how to deal with my issues.

Well anyway, I might as well start writing what this is all about.

About a year ago, I met a girl. She was one of the freshmen in my school, and since I was in my third (and final) year, I tried to make contact. You know, responsibility of taking care of the new ones and such. (And before you say anything, just let me make it clear that she wasn't the only one I was looking out for, and basically it was needed since it was a boarding school and no-one lived at home.) Anyway, we became good friends. Since she had lent me some money one month and therefore didn't have anything at home to eat one evening after we had been talking for a couple of hours, I told her she could come over to my place and we'd eat. After we ate, we decided to watch a movie. Not even then did either of us suspect what would happen later that night. We kissed. Anyway, a few days later, she explained to me that even if she did have very strong emotions for me, she wasn't ready for a relationship (which I could understand since she had broke up with her ex only week earlier). I figured that was ok, after all, it's her life, she shouldn't do anything she didn't want to.

A couple of months later, we had become even closer friends, and to be quite honest, I don't think I've ever felt that close to anyone in my entire life (well, I'v yet to turn 19, so I suppose it's not that long time after all...). Anyway, she got a boyfriend, and it wasn't me. I admit, I was a little dissappointed, but not surprised. Besides, I'm good a moving on, so even if my feelings for her were as strong as ever, I never would've allowed them to get in the way of our friendship. The problem was, she still seemed to have feelings for me. Don't get me wrong, I knew she loved (and still loves) her boyfriend, and I think she made the right choice (I know him so I know he's a great guy). Also, I'm objective enough to not assume that kind of thing just because I want it to be a certain way. So I made a choice. I didn't end our friendship, but as far as her coming to my apartment and me coming to her dorm, that was over. We were still friends, just with a bit of physical distance now. A few months later, I graduated. She and her boyfriend were going a bit early, since they were going to visit his parents together. As she came to say good bye, I told her half-joingly "Hey, I might come back to visit someday when I'm bored." She answered "Make sure to be bored often then". She gave me a hug, and I realized from her tone and the way she hugged me that she still seemed to have some feelings for me. I felt bad about it, since I was hoping that I hadn't caused any problems in the future of her current relationship by kissing her back then. I figured it'd work out of the best for them though, since I was moving to another town during the summer, and I already had met a gal there that I'd taken a shine to. Even if I liked the first girl just as much as I had back then, I had since long moved on.

The last thing I heard about their relationship was that they had gotten engaged, and even if I think they are a bit young for that, I'm still happy for them.

Anyway, me and the girl were talking over MSN a while back, when she told me that she had dreams about me and our kiss. She then proceeded to tell me that even though she didn't regret anything about her current relationship and everything she told her boyfriend was true, she regretted never giving a relationship between me and her a shot first. I explained to her that I'd never want to risk getting between her and her current boyfriend, something I knew was impossible, so I really couldn't answer her feelings. I told her that even if I still felt as strongly for her, I had put it in the past. She told me that she was sad about blowing her chance at me after I told her about the other girl I had met, which even though I don't have a relationship with yet is likely to become my future girlfriend. (Even though I didn't tell her, I thought was that was unfair. Seriously, did she really expect me to live alone the rest of my life just because I couldn't have her?) So anyway, we agreed that if we would meet in a couple of years and both of us were singel, we'd give it another try. I warned her not to miss out on anything because of that promise, and she reminded me which one of us that had a relationship. xd Anyway, I know I won't miss out on anything because of that promise (and to be honest, I really do doubt that it will be used).

How do I feel about this? Well, I think it was unfair of her to stir around in stuff that I've placed in the past, but I'm very happy that our bond of friendship is so strong that we could talk openly about this. I told her this, but before I could get a response, internet went down xp (thank you, Tele2 stare )

I'm mostly just looking for comments about this.

i know how that goes...