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 Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 11:41 am
Hey I just found this poem i wrote a really long time ago so i would just like some opinions on it. Thanks biggrin -M
Smiling for fakes
Sitting in my bed at night
Waiting for the dawn of light
I whisper into the dark
For somebody to save me
Not just anyone
But my prince
The one who I most tenderly miss
He left me alone in the pain of the world
Nobody listens and nobody cares
What happens to an insignificant girl
And if I should die before I wake
I don’t think people will care
For I’m all alone, alone in the world
I can’t just move on and live my life
I’d rather lay in bed and cry
But on most days I plaster my face
And act like I’m okay
For my prince has never come
I’m not sure if he will
But I want to be ready for him
So I’ll just lay my head on my hands
And smile.
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 1:15 pm
I'm not a poem-person but...
It's okay. The rhyming is inconsistant and should be looked at, but if you have no intention of ever re writing this, it's okay for old work.
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