|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 1:57 pm
....yeah i write during study hall. THis is the last one. Itskind of strange and it has no real pattern but ya.
Bungee Cord.
A single thread of elastic
Being my life's support
Pulling me up so i don't hit the ground
but pulling me down so i don't reach the sky
rising and falling like the wicked witch life
and all i have left is to hope i don't die.
A snap of elastic
and i'll fall to my death
Hundreds of feet to the hard world beneath
But then part of me might find some relief
A slice to the body, i'm tumbeling down
And yet holding my breath is all i can think
The wip of elastic
leads to the rush of the fall
Feeling as though minutes have passed
Since i helped myself jump
But the reality is only a second and snap
I'm begining to fall to my death.
ONly a short time will pass
Before i land on my head
I hope i'm killed instantly
Compared to the pain, i'm better off dead.
But what will happen when i finally hit
should i be dying or am i alive yet dead.
I hear far away someone scream
i see the ground gaining on me
its not much more
send all m love
and the i'm dead and i realize
that for the first time in my life, i'm fre
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 8:25 pm
Elastic...heh, You did a good job using that in the first 3 parts.
You'll never get me on a bungee cord eek
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 1:30 pm
lol Wow! sweatdrop I wrote it and i just noticed the elastic thing. Lol. I know that would seem really scary. I'm gonna do it when i'm like 70 so i've already led a productful life and if i die i go out with a bang. That...and skydiving. not until i am old.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 4:38 pm
hah, you mean you that wasn't intentional? That's funny...
I dont think I will ever bungee jump. Or sky dive. I have considered doing those really big swings, though. Ya know, the kind where they strap you in and pull you up about 150 ft and then let you swing? Yeah...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2004 6:22 pm
a giant swing!! eek That would be awesome!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 4:49 am
lol yeah i saw one of those at a fair, but it looked to scary .. besides if you fall far enough and fast enough you just die in mid-air coz you suffocate o.o *nods*
ahem anywho, nice poem, i got confued in a few places but that doesnt take much lol ... i like the ending ^.^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:39 pm
Very dramatic. eek
A couple of missing words makes it confusing.
Very bizarre if I do say so myself.
The idea is very stattered and needs tighten up but I do like the way you start the first three stanzas I think you should continue that through out. You might what to re think the bungee CORD and the THREAD idea. Really has not comparison
It's okay whee I know I think too deeply about things... sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
