THE SAGA BEGINS
The beginning credits start. Sam and Jim were neighbors, and every other day, you could find them watching a television show called “Shut-it and Listen”. it was sort of a comic-news broadcast with some action-y drama thrown into it. After it was over, the boys would stand up and talk about the program that had just exited the TV.
“Wow, that was the best episode so far!!!” Sam commented
“Yea,” Jim added the previous statement, “it was so good, I almost had a heart attack!!! Wait, look, a commercial is coming on!” the two boys sat back down immediately, and stared at the large and some-what expensive, cubed hunk of metal with a screen.
“WOW, WHO IS THAT?” boy1 asked.
“Dude, that’s your mom!”boy2 screamed.
“Yes, in fact, that is the boy’s mom! And you can be a hip, cool, exciting, and decent-looking person, only if you buy this product!” Exclaimed the announcer, “it’s the T-scooter;” he went on, “not quite a toaster, but not quite a scooter!” The boys were still staring blankly at the television.
“Wow,” Jim yelled excitedly, jumping out of his seat, “That commercial made me wanna buy that thing that was just advertised on the television!”
“Yeah, but I bet I could make an advertisement, almost two times better than that!” Sam announced, poking his chest with his fore-finger and kicking the sofa.
“Why did you just kick the sofa?” questioned Jim
“Really, I’m not quite sure…”Sam replied.
Sam and Jim went on with their random and meaningless conversation when yet another commercial occupied the cubed hunk of metal.
“Do you look like this?” the same announcer from the previous commercial announced, while they showed a short, young boy on the screen. “well, do you want to look like this?” the screen changed to a short, young squid. The two boys stopped their random and somewhat meaningless conversation, sat down, and stared blankly at the television screen, yet again.
“I WANNA LOOK LIKE THAT!” the boys screamed in perfect unison, while jumping up and down.
“Well, now you can! The boys who send in the best picture get a totally free MUTATION!”
“I have always wanted to be a hideous mutant.” Sam said in a freakish voice, “let’s send in pictures!”
“But of what?” Jim questioned.
“I know! We can melt chocolate and fire it out of a canon!”.
“WHAT?!?” yelled Jim as he slowly backed away.
“Your right too wasteful.” muttered Sam
“Anyway, I don’t really wanna be a mutant right now.”
“your right, I wanna go home now, bye!” yelled Sam as he walked out the door.
“What was that all about?” Jim’s mom, Jimmantha asked. Jim shrugged.
The next day, a shuttle bombarded the driveway of Jim. Right as Jim looked out the window, a very disfigured cow jumped out gracefully, and pranced to the door of the house. The cow’s strut was so graceful, the house next door almost exploded. Every step the mammal made was followed by a large kaboom and a short yodel. After a few minutes of Jim scanning the cow through the window, the cow knocked on the door. The knock was knocked so gracefully, the house next door actually did actually explode.
The roof shot fifty feet into the air. The man, Max, as you could tell by the expression on his face, had had a very bad day; his television exploded, his cat left him for Ohio, his bird somehow turned on the shower and wasted all of the hot water so he had had to take a cold shower and had a very high water bill, and now the roof of his own house was about to pummel him into the ground, killing him. The roof fell. Faster and faster. Gaining speed every second while he just stood there looking up with, now, a blank expression on his face.
The roof fell onto the man, and, indeed, pummeled him into the ground but he was far from dead. He lifted a finger.
“I’m ok!!!” Max yelled in a breaking voice resembling that of a teenaged boy. Then it started to rain. A few hours later, Jim’s mom walked outside and realized that her neighbor had been pummeled into the ground by a falling roof and was shocked.
“OH MY GOSH!!” Jimmantha screeched in a manner suggesting shock “Jim Jim, get out here this instant!!!” she yelled.
“Whatever the president told you, he’s wrong”
“No, it’s not that.”
“I didn’t mean to kill Mr. O’Leary’s dog, the chainsaw slipped out of my hand!”
“It’s not that!”
“I didn’t mean to clog the toilet, I had some bad cheese, and well, you know…”
“IT’S NOT THAT!”
“I DIDN’T MEAN TO MURDER OLD MAN JANKINS, THEASE THINGS JUST HAPPEN!” Jim broke out into tears, and the very angry mom settled down, picked up her sobbing son, went inside, put Jim to bed, and tucked him in despite the fact that it was 8:00am, and totally forgetting about Max.
The next day, Jim woke up about seven, and went outside.
“Sure is a good d-OH MY GOSH!!!”; Jim had just noticed that his good friend, Max, has been nearly killed by fall of roof. After a few seconds, Jim briskly ran over to Max. Max was whistling.
“What are you doing under a fallen roof?” Jim asked with stupidity.
“What do you think? After your little episode yesterday, I have been sitting here! All night, just waiting for someone to come along and rescue me but no, I have to be ignored by a stupid kid, and…” while max went on, Jim was thinking of a way to get max out.
“well, I could use a crow-bar.” Jim thought, “he he, I like crow-bars, they remind me of candy bars! I like candy bars, being all chocolaty and chewy and sometimes even crunchy! Maybe I could go get one from the candy store! But I don’t like candy stores. They always make me pay for candy. HEY! I JUST REALIZED! Candy rhymes with tractor! Or is that factor….I was never good at math…”
So while Jim stupidly thought, max was still having a conversation with himself.
Just then, Sam came outside to play.
“Whatcha doin‘?” Sam asked.
Jim replied, “Nothing really, you?”
“Nothing” Sam said.
Max interrupted his own conversation with himself long enough to yell at everyone.
“Get me out of here!!!” yelled max, but no one paid any attention to max.
“Hey Sam!”
“Yes Jim?”
“Would you like to go in and watch our favorite television show, Shut-it and Listen?”
“ok!”
So this is where our chapter ends, max is under a house, Jim and Sam are watching Shut-it and Listen, and Jimmantha, Jim’s mom, was doing who knows what?
SO JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR
J I M A N D S A M !!!
The beginning credits start. Sam and Jim were neighbors, and every other day, you could find them watching a television show called “Shut-it and Listen”. it was sort of a comic-news broadcast with some action-y drama thrown into it. After it was over, the boys would stand up and talk about the program that had just exited the TV.
“Wow, that was the best episode so far!!!” Sam commented
“Yea,” Jim added the previous statement, “it was so good, I almost had a heart attack!!! Wait, look, a commercial is coming on!” the two boys sat back down immediately, and stared at the large and some-what expensive, cubed hunk of metal with a screen.
“WOW, WHO IS THAT?” boy1 asked.
“Dude, that’s your mom!”boy2 screamed.
“Yes, in fact, that is the boy’s mom! And you can be a hip, cool, exciting, and decent-looking person, only if you buy this product!” Exclaimed the announcer, “it’s the T-scooter;” he went on, “not quite a toaster, but not quite a scooter!” The boys were still staring blankly at the television.
“Wow,” Jim yelled excitedly, jumping out of his seat, “That commercial made me wanna buy that thing that was just advertised on the television!”
“Yeah, but I bet I could make an advertisement, almost two times better than that!” Sam announced, poking his chest with his fore-finger and kicking the sofa.
“Why did you just kick the sofa?” questioned Jim
“Really, I’m not quite sure…”Sam replied.
Sam and Jim went on with their random and meaningless conversation when yet another commercial occupied the cubed hunk of metal.
“Do you look like this?” the same announcer from the previous commercial announced, while they showed a short, young boy on the screen. “well, do you want to look like this?” the screen changed to a short, young squid. The two boys stopped their random and somewhat meaningless conversation, sat down, and stared blankly at the television screen, yet again.
“I WANNA LOOK LIKE THAT!” the boys screamed in perfect unison, while jumping up and down.
“Well, now you can! The boys who send in the best picture get a totally free MUTATION!”
“I have always wanted to be a hideous mutant.” Sam said in a freakish voice, “let’s send in pictures!”
“But of what?” Jim questioned.
“I know! We can melt chocolate and fire it out of a canon!”.
“WHAT?!?” yelled Jim as he slowly backed away.
“Your right too wasteful.” muttered Sam
“Anyway, I don’t really wanna be a mutant right now.”
“your right, I wanna go home now, bye!” yelled Sam as he walked out the door.
“What was that all about?” Jim’s mom, Jimmantha asked. Jim shrugged.
The next day, a shuttle bombarded the driveway of Jim. Right as Jim looked out the window, a very disfigured cow jumped out gracefully, and pranced to the door of the house. The cow’s strut was so graceful, the house next door almost exploded. Every step the mammal made was followed by a large kaboom and a short yodel. After a few minutes of Jim scanning the cow through the window, the cow knocked on the door. The knock was knocked so gracefully, the house next door actually did actually explode.
The roof shot fifty feet into the air. The man, Max, as you could tell by the expression on his face, had had a very bad day; his television exploded, his cat left him for Ohio, his bird somehow turned on the shower and wasted all of the hot water so he had had to take a cold shower and had a very high water bill, and now the roof of his own house was about to pummel him into the ground, killing him. The roof fell. Faster and faster. Gaining speed every second while he just stood there looking up with, now, a blank expression on his face.
The roof fell onto the man, and, indeed, pummeled him into the ground but he was far from dead. He lifted a finger.
“I’m ok!!!” Max yelled in a breaking voice resembling that of a teenaged boy. Then it started to rain. A few hours later, Jim’s mom walked outside and realized that her neighbor had been pummeled into the ground by a falling roof and was shocked.
“OH MY GOSH!!” Jimmantha screeched in a manner suggesting shock “Jim Jim, get out here this instant!!!” she yelled.
“Whatever the president told you, he’s wrong”
“No, it’s not that.”
“I didn’t mean to kill Mr. O’Leary’s dog, the chainsaw slipped out of my hand!”
“It’s not that!”
“I didn’t mean to clog the toilet, I had some bad cheese, and well, you know…”
“IT’S NOT THAT!”
“I DIDN’T MEAN TO MURDER OLD MAN JANKINS, THEASE THINGS JUST HAPPEN!” Jim broke out into tears, and the very angry mom settled down, picked up her sobbing son, went inside, put Jim to bed, and tucked him in despite the fact that it was 8:00am, and totally forgetting about Max.
The next day, Jim woke up about seven, and went outside.
“Sure is a good d-OH MY GOSH!!!”; Jim had just noticed that his good friend, Max, has been nearly killed by fall of roof. After a few seconds, Jim briskly ran over to Max. Max was whistling.
“What are you doing under a fallen roof?” Jim asked with stupidity.
“What do you think? After your little episode yesterday, I have been sitting here! All night, just waiting for someone to come along and rescue me but no, I have to be ignored by a stupid kid, and…” while max went on, Jim was thinking of a way to get max out.
“well, I could use a crow-bar.” Jim thought, “he he, I like crow-bars, they remind me of candy bars! I like candy bars, being all chocolaty and chewy and sometimes even crunchy! Maybe I could go get one from the candy store! But I don’t like candy stores. They always make me pay for candy. HEY! I JUST REALIZED! Candy rhymes with tractor! Or is that factor….I was never good at math…”
So while Jim stupidly thought, max was still having a conversation with himself.
Just then, Sam came outside to play.
“Whatcha doin‘?” Sam asked.
Jim replied, “Nothing really, you?”
“Nothing” Sam said.
Max interrupted his own conversation with himself long enough to yell at everyone.
“Get me out of here!!!” yelled max, but no one paid any attention to max.
“Hey Sam!”
“Yes Jim?”
“Would you like to go in and watch our favorite television show, Shut-it and Listen?”
“ok!”
So this is where our chapter ends, max is under a house, Jim and Sam are watching Shut-it and Listen, and Jimmantha, Jim’s mom, was doing who knows what?
SO JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR
J I M A N D S A M !!!
