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THE BOOK OF CHEESE HAS RETURNED TO THE FAITHFUL!

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DeanTheAdequate

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:10 pm


The collected Book of Cheese has been found in ancient manuscript! Behold!

Quote:
The Book of Cheese Chapter 1: Verse 1
"In the beginning, the Almighty Cheese GOddess created the Whey"

1:2
"And from the Whey came forth Edam and Cheese"


Quote:

1:14
"And yea, thou shalt find things with wich to put cheese on"

1:15
"And the people did scour the land and bring forth breads, biscuts, crackers, and the occasional crunchy vegetable. And it was good"


Quote:
4:10
"And thou shalt taketh thine jack cheese and add the humble pepper. This creation shalt be known as the peppered jack cheese."

4:11
"And the people did rejoice, and created the party tray for now they had the holy trinity of the cheese tray, the basis for all cheese trays to come. Cheddar, swiss and pepper jack."


Quote:
5:7
"And the peoples did set out to procure other cheese bearing animals and bacteria. They found the goat, and added it's cheeses to the pizza. And it was good"


Quote:
17:5
"And The Prophet did look upon the French, and scorned their adaptations of the names of cheeses, except for brie which he could pronounce"


Quote:
17:7
"It is not the one who obsesses about the cheese who shalt win."

17:8
"It is about who owns the most cheese"

17:9
"Or possably the longest aged cheese"


Quote:
25:9
"And the Italians did invadeth New Yorketh. They wished to practice the art of Mozzerella."

25:10
"But it was for naught. So they inventeth thy provolone and placed it upon a bun with steak, creating the cheese steak."

25:11
"And they did goeth to Philadelphia instead, and it was good."


Quote:
37:12
"And so it came to pass that the whey did seperate from the curd. And the Lord was not pleased."

37:13
"Thus he spake 'For these end times, this cheese shalt be known as the cottage cheese, most flavorless and yet healthy of the cheeses. It shal be mankind's cruelest torment for the sin in posseses."

37:14
"And there was a wailing, and gnashing of teeth at Weight Watchers"


Quote:
64:2
"But thou shalt not touch the hot plate of the fajita, for it will melteth thine cheese."

64:3
"So I give unto you another snacketh, thou shalt take thine cheese and lightly batter it in wheatstuffs of grinding. Then thou shalt add crumbled breads. Then thou shalt deep fry that sucka"

64:4
"And then the prophet made Homer-esque gurgling sounds."

64:5
"And there was much rejoicing"


Quote:
743:1
"But there were those who were dissatisfied with the fajita, for they wanted thier cheeses melted."

743:2
"But there was a solution. The prophet did consult with the Mayan/Spaniards and did come forth with a solution."

743:3
"'And Yea I bring forth the solution!' he spake 'I shalt create the fajita in another form, grilled on a griddle with cheeses meat and vegetabel on the inside already!"

743:4
"And I willst serve this dish with guacamole and the soured cream. It shall be called... The Quesodilla!'"

743:5
"And there was much rejoicing"


Quote:
1:53
"Thou shalt not covet thine neighbor's cheese"

1:54
"Thou shalt take up thine vat and borrow thine neighbor's bacteria"


Quote:
5:16
"And so it was to pass that the japenese had no cheese"

5:17
"And this made the Prophet sad, for he had hoped to spread the cheesey goodness across the globe, like a fine Borsoune."

5:18
"But the Prophet did know of Lactose intolerance, and the scourge it was that Satan put upon this earth to keep teh happiness of cheese from all"

5:19
"So the people made a cheese of thier own from the plant of soy. After experimentation, it was actually quite good. Truely a miricle!"


Quote:
21:21
"And the people did seek a place of their own. A place know only for cheese"

21:22
"And so in England they found their sacred burgs, the towns Christened as Cheddar and Widnslydale!"


Quote:
34:27
"The bacteria leaveth, the bacteria taketh away"


Quote:
21:47
"And the Germans did take their greatest assets and fused then together"

21:48
"It was called Bierkase in their touinge, but it was the Beer Cheese that took the ham sandwich to it's highest level. Amen"


Quote:
infinity:infinity
"Yea, O Cheese Goddess, why have you put forth the Limburger, the foulest of thine cheesey creations?"

infinity:infinity+1
"And she did respondeth 'My children, as thou shalt consume thine cheese thou shalt age. Thine tastes shall dull. Thou shalt need comfort in thine twilight years. The cheese of Limburger shalt be your salvation in those times, for you will recall the cheeses of past and be glad."


The rest shall be coming soon!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 1:13 pm


This book needs the cheese equivalent of Revelations.

Mr Spooty
Crew

Newbie Noob


ManyBlackHands

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 4:32 am


All That is said in this holy document is truth we worship the whey and the cheese goddess eek
PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2006 3:54 pm


I shall start worshipping the cheese goddess immedietly
heart heart Worships heart heart

Raining_Stardust

Aged Ladykiller

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NeoDax

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 12:40 pm


*Bows down before the awesome and magnificent power of the rennet form holiness that is cheese* rofl
PostPosted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 12:22 pm


cheese godess no way it wasnt even holy the book is to long for anyone but cheese to read anyway the cheese godess doesnt exist cheese hasnt taken over the world............................................................................................................................................................................. yet hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha twisted boom burning_eyes

trash-princess-liams-chan

Dapper Sleuth


Akienna

PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 1:37 pm


This gets more awesome every time I read it 3nodding
PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:49 pm


Omg! =o

*Bows down* I worship you cheese! >.>

The Power of Cheese


massimaleigh

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:01 pm


Wow this never gets old
never xd love it.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:12 pm


5:16
"And so it was to pass that the japenese had no cheese"
burning_eyes

LIES! YOU SPEAK LIES! The japanese are perfect in every way, in fact chuck norris fears them, that is how great their power is! ninja

dj7andrex


Whiny Technocrat

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:20 pm


PRAISE CHEESUS! *Worship, worship*
Reply
The Cheese Guild

 
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