This is for Kelsie's birthdaaaaaaaayyy! I heart you in the healthy friend way! ^o^
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Watch your sister, Kelsie, I have to go out for the day," said Kelsie's mom.
"Whatever.." she muttered.
AND HER DAY WAS FILLED WITH BORING THINGS! ..........................Or...so she thought.
About a half-hour later, she heard a squeal from Johnna. And then a familiar masculine voice yell, "OWW! OWW! OWW!!"
Kelsie stood up and walked slowly to the window where Johnna was pulling on something.
"Shavo?" Kelsie murmured, not fully awake.
"Yup," he said, taking his beard out of Johnna's hands gently. Shimi sat on Serj's back, who had just flown up next to Shavo.
"Can't you fly yourself?" he whined, as she waved to Kelsie.
"Yus. I just like flying you better!" Shimi said, smiling.
"Wow, you have the rest of them here?" asked Kelsie, looking down the window to see Daron, Devon, Megan, and John all waving at her.
"We're going to the mall, Sugar!" yelled Daron. "You coming?"
"I can't, I have to watch Johnna," Kelsie replied.
"Just bring her with you!" Daron shouted back.
".....Okay..." she said, and Johnna jumped at Serj.
"GAAAAHH! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!" he yelled, catching her and sinking to the ground.
Kelsie and Shimi got out of the tour bus, and ran up to Shimi's house, opening the door. Jake sat at the computer desk/table/thing.
"Ehhh...Hi..?" he said, a confused look on his face.
"We're going to the mall with System Of A Down, c'mon," Kelsie said, glomping him.
"No way," he said, eyes squinted.
"I'll go get 'em, if you want..." Shimi giggled, more than eager. She ran out, motioned for them to come, and ran back in. System came up slowly, and smiled at Jake once his jaw dropped.
"Nice hat," stoner-laughed Daron, taking Jake's hat off of his head, which was a red-flamey-fuzzy-sombrero-like-pimp-hat. He put it on his own, and laughed again.
"Dude, we're people too," Shavo said.
"But you're the infamous Jacob, older brother to the little Shimi," Serj said, putting his hands in his pockets, pacing infront of Jake, eyes on him.
"What did you say....?" asked Jake to a laughing Shimi.
"That you're the best big brother ever, now c'mon, we gotta go to the mall."
"Do you have Slipknot in there, by any chance?" he asked, stepping cautiously to the tour bus.
"No," John said bluntly, walking in. They all went in, and then started off.
"Is iiiiiiiittt...Daron's hat that he stole from Jake?" asked Shimi to Serj.
"Yes." he said.
"Okay, umm..I spy with my normal-sized eye something that is...YELLOW!!!"
"The lines on the road?"
"How the hell do you know?!"
"You've been sitting with your face pressed up against the window yelling "LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE!" for about 10 minutes."
"Oh...Right." she said.
They were finally there. And System didn't have to worry about being mobbed, because there were only old people and sheltered hicks at the mall on a Sunday! So, yeah. They started off, Daron yelling, "ONE ********! TWO ********! C'MON, YA BITCHES, PICK UP THE PACE!"
"We're going to a mall, not to boot camp," Megan said.
"Yeah, but I wanna go into Victoria's Secret. I told Shimi my plan..." he said, twiddling his fingers maniacally. Shimi copied him.
"Okay, we should like..Split up--" started John.
"Like, totally, gang," Devon giggled.
"Because I don't wanna go to Victoria's Secret."
Kelsie stayed with Shavo and Johnna, Jake followed Kelsie, John and Serj stayed together with Devon, then Megan, Daron and Shimi had their group.
"TO THE UNDERWEAR STORE!!"
Group 1~ Daron, Megan and Shimi
They took off full speed to Victoria's Secret. Daron dove into an underwear rack. A while later, a lady came along, and he said softly, "Oh no no no NOO, honey, blue is just NOT your color,"
She screamed and took off.
Megan and Shimi were stifling laughter as Daron put underwear on his head, and calmly walked up to the counter.
"Hello, do you have anything in size 82?"
"Sir, could you please stop scaring the customers?" she replied. Daron looked back at Shimi and Megan, who were laughing uncontrollably.
"Do you know who I am, sugar?" he asked, leaning on the counter.
"No," she said, looking un-amused.
"WELL THEN YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME AND ARE VERY SHELTERED, MA'AM. THANK YOU FOR BAD SERVICE." he shouted, throwing the underwear at the cieling and catching it on a water-sprinkler thing. He walked out, followed by Megan and Shimi.
"I'M CUPID, b***h!" he yelled. "******** 2~ Kelsie, Shavo, Jake and Johnna
"Kelsie I want ice cream!" whined Johnna.
"Yeah, Kelsie! Me too!" Shavo pouted, crossing his arms. Kelsie grumbled.
"I don't have any money," she said. Jake shrugged. Johnna pulled on Shavo's beard, who fished some money out of his pocket. He handed it to Johnna and said, "Run along, dear,"
"You can't do that! She's too little!" Kelsie said, running through the crowd of redneck ladies to get at her sister, who was making her way to the ice cream place. Shavo started laughing. Jake stifled his own laughter and walked over to Kelsie at the Ice cream place. Shavo followed.
"Smooth, Shavo, real smooth," Kelsie grumbled, slapping money on the counter. The lady gave her a strange look, as if she thought that Kelsie herself was..'with' Shavo. And he had that beard thing.
"Loosen UUUUUUUUP, Kelsie!" Shavo beckoned, handing Johnna her ice cream.
"My sister could have gotten kidnapped by a redneck serial killer, or something," she said.
"So you DO care?" Jake tried. She sighed.
"Seriously, though, lighten up. You're scaring me."
Kelsie smiled, and yelled at the top of her lungs, "FELLATIO!"
Shavo grinned. There were murmurs in the crowd of, "Whuts uh furrleysheeo?"
Group 3~ John, Devon, Serj
"OhMyGod, I have an idea!" Devon exclaimed.
"..Eh?"
"Let's sneak in to a movie!"
"Are you insane? We'll get kicked out of the whole mall."
"You're forgetting that 2 of uf are fairies and the other one is Santa."
"Oh. Right."
So they used their powers to get in! Serj and Devon became invisible, and John had the wonderful ability to charm people.
Lady: Uhhh...Sir..you need a ticket.
John: -Hypnotic Santa eyes- No, I don't.
Lady: -Is Hypnotized- I love you.
John: That's good. -Walks away-
"NICE," said Devon, slapping his hand. He grinned.
"So, what movie will it be?" asked Serj cheerfully.
"Hmmm...Lady In The Water looks good,"
"I really don't care," John said flatly.
"Woman in the liquid it is!"
-After the movie-
"Wow. That movie sucked." grumbled Devon. "I want my money back!"
"We didn't pay in the first place..."
"Oh..Yeah. But anyway..Maybe we should find the other peoples?"
"Sure?"
So, the trio trekked off, looking for other people.
Group 1~
"Hands on the wall! HANDS ON THE WALL!"
"What the ******** did I do?!"
"Harrassing people, fighting, vandalism.."
"YOU shut the hell up!"
Daron was against the wall, right outside of Best Buy, being handcuffed. Shimi and Megan were stifling laughter.
"Don't just sit there, help me!" pleaded Daron.
"Uhh...Hey sir, you look sexually frustrated!" Shimi tried. Megan stared at her.
"No, I'm not gonna screw him!" she whispered curtly.
He narrowed his eyes.
"What are you getting at?"
"Uhh...Daron, Megan and I..we..uhh..have a dating service! We're experts at these things. We can get you laid."
The idiot. He fell for it.
He was about to say something, when Daron slipped the chain of his handcuffs around the guy's neck and started choking him. He took the chain off quickly, and pushed him down an 'up' escalator.
They scampered away quickly.
"We have to find the other guys, or else the S.W.A.T. teams are gonna start chasing me!" cried Daron.
"Aren't you over-exaggerating?"
"Yes! But still! We need to find Serj John and Shavo!"
"Fine. If I were A Shavo-slash-Jake-slash-Kelsie, where would I be?" asked Shimi.
"Arcade,"
They ran inside, only to find that the arcade was empty.
"Damn!" yelled Shimi, wheeling around and bolting off in another direction.
"Hey, Shimi, what are you running for?" asked Jake, from afar.
"Daron beat up a security guard, we need to find everyone and run. You go get Kelsie, Johnna and Shavo, tell them to meet us at the entrance of the mall. We're going after Devon, John and Serj."
Jake nodded, running to Hot Topic, where Shavo was buying more spikey bracelets. John, Serj and Devon happened to be there.
"HOMGZ, SERJDEVONJOHNSHAVOKELSIEJOHNNAWENEEDTOGONOW," yelled Jake breathlessly.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jake, slow down." said ********!!! WE NEED TO GO NOW!" Jake repeated, even louder.
"Why?"
"NO TIME FOR THAT! THEY'RE GOING TO KEEEEEEEEEELLLL HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMM!"
"Kill who? DARON?!"
Jake nodded. Everyone broke out in a run for the mall entrance, to see Daron, Shimi and Megan being surrounded by security.
"If you're gonna do something, do it now!" yelled Shimi.
"Aww, ********, I was hoping I didn't have to do this.." grumbled Shavo, his bunny ears and tail popping out. He grabbed an egg grenade from thin air and hurled it. They scattered quickly, and then started to run out. Except for Daron. He sprouted his wings and rose into the air, fitting several arrows to the bowstring.
"Daron, WTF are you DOING?" yelled Kelsie.
"I'm gonna show these ******** whos' boss!"
In a flash of pink light, the security gurads started to profess their gay love for each other. Daron smirked and flew out, making his way into the bus with Shavo.
They all smirked, acting as if nothing happened.
"Well, that was enlightening," Serj commented.
"I'd do it again," Kelsie said, as the tour bus started up, and they drove away from the madness.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Watch your sister, Kelsie, I have to go out for the day," said Kelsie's mom.
"Whatever.." she muttered.
AND HER DAY WAS FILLED WITH BORING THINGS! ..........................Or...so she thought.
About a half-hour later, she heard a squeal from Johnna. And then a familiar masculine voice yell, "OWW! OWW! OWW!!"
Kelsie stood up and walked slowly to the window where Johnna was pulling on something.
"Shavo?" Kelsie murmured, not fully awake.
"Yup," he said, taking his beard out of Johnna's hands gently. Shimi sat on Serj's back, who had just flown up next to Shavo.
"Can't you fly yourself?" he whined, as she waved to Kelsie.
"Yus. I just like flying you better!" Shimi said, smiling.
"Wow, you have the rest of them here?" asked Kelsie, looking down the window to see Daron, Devon, Megan, and John all waving at her.
"We're going to the mall, Sugar!" yelled Daron. "You coming?"
"I can't, I have to watch Johnna," Kelsie replied.
"Just bring her with you!" Daron shouted back.
".....Okay..." she said, and Johnna jumped at Serj.
"GAAAAHH! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!" he yelled, catching her and sinking to the ground.
Kelsie and Shimi got out of the tour bus, and ran up to Shimi's house, opening the door. Jake sat at the computer desk/table/thing.
"Ehhh...Hi..?" he said, a confused look on his face.
"We're going to the mall with System Of A Down, c'mon," Kelsie said, glomping him.
"No way," he said, eyes squinted.
"I'll go get 'em, if you want..." Shimi giggled, more than eager. She ran out, motioned for them to come, and ran back in. System came up slowly, and smiled at Jake once his jaw dropped.
"Nice hat," stoner-laughed Daron, taking Jake's hat off of his head, which was a red-flamey-fuzzy-sombrero-like-pimp-hat. He put it on his own, and laughed again.
"Dude, we're people too," Shavo said.
"But you're the infamous Jacob, older brother to the little Shimi," Serj said, putting his hands in his pockets, pacing infront of Jake, eyes on him.
"What did you say....?" asked Jake to a laughing Shimi.
"That you're the best big brother ever, now c'mon, we gotta go to the mall."
"Do you have Slipknot in there, by any chance?" he asked, stepping cautiously to the tour bus.
"No," John said bluntly, walking in. They all went in, and then started off.
"Is iiiiiiiittt...Daron's hat that he stole from Jake?" asked Shimi to Serj.
"Yes." he said.
"Okay, umm..I spy with my normal-sized eye something that is...YELLOW!!!"
"The lines on the road?"
"How the hell do you know?!"
"You've been sitting with your face pressed up against the window yelling "LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE!" for about 10 minutes."
"Oh...Right." she said.
They were finally there. And System didn't have to worry about being mobbed, because there were only old people and sheltered hicks at the mall on a Sunday! So, yeah. They started off, Daron yelling, "ONE ********! TWO ********! C'MON, YA BITCHES, PICK UP THE PACE!"
"We're going to a mall, not to boot camp," Megan said.
"Yeah, but I wanna go into Victoria's Secret. I told Shimi my plan..." he said, twiddling his fingers maniacally. Shimi copied him.
"Okay, we should like..Split up--" started John.
"Like, totally, gang," Devon giggled.
"Because I don't wanna go to Victoria's Secret."
Kelsie stayed with Shavo and Johnna, Jake followed Kelsie, John and Serj stayed together with Devon, then Megan, Daron and Shimi had their group.
"TO THE UNDERWEAR STORE!!"
Group 1~ Daron, Megan and Shimi
They took off full speed to Victoria's Secret. Daron dove into an underwear rack. A while later, a lady came along, and he said softly, "Oh no no no NOO, honey, blue is just NOT your color,"
She screamed and took off.
Megan and Shimi were stifling laughter as Daron put underwear on his head, and calmly walked up to the counter.
"Hello, do you have anything in size 82?"
"Sir, could you please stop scaring the customers?" she replied. Daron looked back at Shimi and Megan, who were laughing uncontrollably.
"Do you know who I am, sugar?" he asked, leaning on the counter.
"No," she said, looking un-amused.
"WELL THEN YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME AND ARE VERY SHELTERED, MA'AM. THANK YOU FOR BAD SERVICE." he shouted, throwing the underwear at the cieling and catching it on a water-sprinkler thing. He walked out, followed by Megan and Shimi.
"I'M CUPID, b***h!" he yelled. "******** 2~ Kelsie, Shavo, Jake and Johnna
"Kelsie I want ice cream!" whined Johnna.
"Yeah, Kelsie! Me too!" Shavo pouted, crossing his arms. Kelsie grumbled.
"I don't have any money," she said. Jake shrugged. Johnna pulled on Shavo's beard, who fished some money out of his pocket. He handed it to Johnna and said, "Run along, dear,"
"You can't do that! She's too little!" Kelsie said, running through the crowd of redneck ladies to get at her sister, who was making her way to the ice cream place. Shavo started laughing. Jake stifled his own laughter and walked over to Kelsie at the Ice cream place. Shavo followed.
"Smooth, Shavo, real smooth," Kelsie grumbled, slapping money on the counter. The lady gave her a strange look, as if she thought that Kelsie herself was..'with' Shavo. And he had that beard thing.
"Loosen UUUUUUUUP, Kelsie!" Shavo beckoned, handing Johnna her ice cream.
"My sister could have gotten kidnapped by a redneck serial killer, or something," she said.
"So you DO care?" Jake tried. She sighed.
"Seriously, though, lighten up. You're scaring me."
Kelsie smiled, and yelled at the top of her lungs, "FELLATIO!"
Shavo grinned. There were murmurs in the crowd of, "Whuts uh furrleysheeo?"
Group 3~ John, Devon, Serj
"OhMyGod, I have an idea!" Devon exclaimed.
"..Eh?"
"Let's sneak in to a movie!"
"Are you insane? We'll get kicked out of the whole mall."
"You're forgetting that 2 of uf are fairies and the other one is Santa."
"Oh. Right."
So they used their powers to get in! Serj and Devon became invisible, and John had the wonderful ability to charm people.
Lady: Uhhh...Sir..you need a ticket.
John: -Hypnotic Santa eyes- No, I don't.
Lady: -Is Hypnotized- I love you.
John: That's good. -Walks away-
"NICE," said Devon, slapping his hand. He grinned.
"So, what movie will it be?" asked Serj cheerfully.
"Hmmm...Lady In The Water looks good,"
"I really don't care," John said flatly.
"Woman in the liquid it is!"
-After the movie-
"Wow. That movie sucked." grumbled Devon. "I want my money back!"
"We didn't pay in the first place..."
"Oh..Yeah. But anyway..Maybe we should find the other peoples?"
"Sure?"
So, the trio trekked off, looking for other people.
Group 1~
"Hands on the wall! HANDS ON THE WALL!"
"What the ******** did I do?!"
"Harrassing people, fighting, vandalism.."
"YOU shut the hell up!"
Daron was against the wall, right outside of Best Buy, being handcuffed. Shimi and Megan were stifling laughter.
"Don't just sit there, help me!" pleaded Daron.
"Uhh...Hey sir, you look sexually frustrated!" Shimi tried. Megan stared at her.
"No, I'm not gonna screw him!" she whispered curtly.
He narrowed his eyes.
"What are you getting at?"
"Uhh...Daron, Megan and I..we..uhh..have a dating service! We're experts at these things. We can get you laid."
The idiot. He fell for it.
He was about to say something, when Daron slipped the chain of his handcuffs around the guy's neck and started choking him. He took the chain off quickly, and pushed him down an 'up' escalator.
They scampered away quickly.
"We have to find the other guys, or else the S.W.A.T. teams are gonna start chasing me!" cried Daron.
"Aren't you over-exaggerating?"
"Yes! But still! We need to find Serj John and Shavo!"
"Fine. If I were A Shavo-slash-Jake-slash-Kelsie, where would I be?" asked Shimi.
"Arcade,"
They ran inside, only to find that the arcade was empty.
"Damn!" yelled Shimi, wheeling around and bolting off in another direction.
"Hey, Shimi, what are you running for?" asked Jake, from afar.
"Daron beat up a security guard, we need to find everyone and run. You go get Kelsie, Johnna and Shavo, tell them to meet us at the entrance of the mall. We're going after Devon, John and Serj."
Jake nodded, running to Hot Topic, where Shavo was buying more spikey bracelets. John, Serj and Devon happened to be there.
"HOMGZ, SERJDEVONJOHNSHAVOKELSIEJOHNNAWENEEDTOGONOW," yelled Jake breathlessly.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jake, slow down." said ********!!! WE NEED TO GO NOW!" Jake repeated, even louder.
"Why?"
"NO TIME FOR THAT! THEY'RE GOING TO KEEEEEEEEEELLLL HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMM!"
"Kill who? DARON?!"
Jake nodded. Everyone broke out in a run for the mall entrance, to see Daron, Shimi and Megan being surrounded by security.
"If you're gonna do something, do it now!" yelled Shimi.
"Aww, ********, I was hoping I didn't have to do this.." grumbled Shavo, his bunny ears and tail popping out. He grabbed an egg grenade from thin air and hurled it. They scattered quickly, and then started to run out. Except for Daron. He sprouted his wings and rose into the air, fitting several arrows to the bowstring.
"Daron, WTF are you DOING?" yelled Kelsie.
"I'm gonna show these ******** whos' boss!"
In a flash of pink light, the security gurads started to profess their gay love for each other. Daron smirked and flew out, making his way into the bus with Shavo.
They all smirked, acting as if nothing happened.
"Well, that was enlightening," Serj commented.
"I'd do it again," Kelsie said, as the tour bus started up, and they drove away from the madness.
