Welcome to Gaia! ::

He walks down the street listening to his music. Its Ludwig van Before going into the moloko bar for some nice refreshing milk.

He walks over to her and says "Hello my dama droog! Would you like a peet?" ((Hello my friend, would you like a drink?))

I was having drinks at Nell's with Timothy Price and Craig McDermont when Luis Carruthers calls to tell us about a new, trendy nightclub that has opened. I never want anything to do with that doofus, but the night is young, and we have to spend the time somehow. We quickly leave Nell's and hitch a cab over to 6th and W50th Street, where the club is.

Timothy Price is saying something about his summer home in the Hamptons, but I do not want to listen so I put a pair of headphones over my ears and listen to my favorite compact disc, Bruce Willis' The Return of Bruno, on my Sony Discman which cost me about $200. That is when, for the first time that night, I finally take notice of what everyone is wearing. Price is wearing a linen suit by Canali Milano, a cotton shirt by Ike Behar, a silk tie by Bill Blass, and cap-toed leather lace-ups from Brooks Brothers. Meanwhile, McDermont, who I see is actually paying attention to Price, is wearing a woven-linen suit with pleated trousers, a button-down cotton and linen shirt by Basile, a silk tie by Joseph Abboud, and ostrich loafers from Susan Bennis Warren Edwards. Of course, I am the most tasteful and stylish, sporting a a lightweight linen suit with pleated trousers, a cotton shirt, and a dotted silk tie, all by Valentino Couture, and perforated cap-toe leather shoes by Allen-Edmonds.

We finally arrive at the club, Moloko, and I am relieved that I no longer have to deal with Price talking. Unfortunately, I am the one left to pay for the cab fare. After, jokingly, asking the driver if he would take AmEx, I give the disgusting a*****e exactly $12.85--no tip. I get nervous when I realize there is abolutely nobody outside the club--except for a bouncer. Is this place really popular?

I turn to my companions and ask, "Where is everyone?"

"Relax, Bateman," answers McDermont, "I'm pretty sure the inside is packed with people. Come on, Luis said this place is popular."

I cannot believe McDermont would be that stupid, to take Luis Carruthers' word. Price pays the bouncer the cover charge and waves us on. Panic strikes me again as I move into the club and realize what is being played over the soundsystem--classical music, one of the dullest things I've ever heard in my life. Oh my God, where did Carruthers lead us to? I cannot say I am the only one who feels this way, as even Price and McDermont were expecting to hear the latest Belinda Carlisle single or that Janet Jackson song I like.

"I'm going to go see if I can find someone selling cocaine," announces Price.

"I'll go see if I can find Luis," says McDermont.

I, on the other hand, decide to walk to the bar and order a J&B on the rocks. I hope Tim Price gets that cocaine.

"My name is Baby."
She takes a sip.
"I'll join ya. Do you think you could give me a ride home afterwards?"
As she takes another sip she notices another man walk into the bar.

"Well then my dama, peet skorry. ((drink quickly)) We have alot to do tonight." He goes and gets himself a glass off milk.

The bartender informs me that this place does not serve J&B. I turn around because if I even look at the f*****t behind the bar for another second, I think I might just snap. Right before me is a hardbody, early twenties, blonde, but she's obviously one of those "artist" types from the village who disgust me, and she is looking right at me! Oh my god, this place must be hell; no J&B, no catchy, commercial music, and surrounded by "artists" with bad fashion sense and a fake Russian dialect--just dozens of billions of people who passed over this planet. I reach into my coat pocket for a valium, tylenol, anything to suppress my urges to slit the throats of everyone in this room, then go find Carruthers and slit his throat, and then go to Courtney Rollensen's, his fiance who I am also seeing, apartment and shoot her in the face. Oh, how I would love to kill Luis right now.

Unfortunatley, my pockets are empty. I wonder if Price got the cocaine yet.

"Well baby, What do you skazat we itty now?" He said offering her his arm.