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 Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 12:09 pm
Like I've never Felt Before
-I can wear this mask no more
-Acting like i just don't care
-I feel like I've never felt before
-My heart skips a beat every time I see you there
-I cannot live within these lies
-Whenever I look into your eyes
-I drift away just like a dove
-What can I say it must be love
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Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 8:18 am
I don't like the last two lines. Dove's don't exactly drift. They fly. I'd try to find something else that fits. The first part of the last line, up until it, it seems like you couldn't find any other way to end it. The end is the most important part.
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 11:18 am
wow, i think it's actually pretty good. ya doves don't really drift though. these short poems aren't exactly my style though. i ussually write like full psge ones that are pretty much short stories that rhym. LOL
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:37 pm
i'm now stuck without poetic inspiration...ny muse has deserted me.
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 10:08 am
i like it...good lukc for the next ones
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:54 am
love it heart heart
though i do agree that you might have to do something about the end...
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