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I would strongly advise that you reconsider having a baby at your age. Pregnancy is far from being a walk in the park, and taking care of a baby is a lot of work that will have to do in addition to school. I am very lucky to have my mother give me a lot of help. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, however. I think little Daisy is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I love her with all my heart, it's just being a parent is a big responsibility that some teenagers may not be able to handle.

Out of the names you have supplied, I personally like Sophie. I named my daughter Daisy because I wanted me baby to be named after a flower (I knew she was a girl before she was born), and the first flowers I thought of were daisies.

And like the song says, you really do need to find the right person to have intercourse with. My pregnancy was actually unplanned, even though I did have intercourse with my boyfriend, and it was the first time for both of us.

I find that, in general, people use a sperm donor either because they are in a same-sex (read: lesbian) relationship and want children, or because their significant other has sperm or genetic issues (ie, hereditary diseases). Every now and again, someone will use a sperm donor because they've never found the right man and are nearing the end of their fertile years - that would be around late 30's to early 40's. Considering you seem to be heterosexual and incredibly young, I doubt any of these reasons ring a bell for you.

I very much hope that you are just talking about future possibilities for yourself, because I'm with everybody else on the idea that you are FAR too young to deal with having and raising a child well at this stage in your life. If you *are* talking about having one soon, PLEASE talk to an adult about this idea, because I can't think how the situation would be good for you or the baby. Seven hells, child, I can't even think why losing your virginity at your age is a good idea, let alone having a baby as a result.


Here's the plan to follow:

1) Do not put out for anybody for any reason until after high school. This just keeps things simple. I don't care if everybody else seems to be doing it, it's usually a horrible idea and results in a lot of tears, fighting, and (if you end up having kids) legal battles. By avoiding sex altogether, you keep all those things off your list, and the people who didn't hold out will comment later on how jealous they are because you're so lucky.

2) After high school, either go to college or get a good job. This puts you in a place where you will meet nice guys who are either getting higher education or holding down a decent job - in other words, you know they're responsible people. That's a gold star on the list of things you're looking for in a future husband/father of your children.

3) Plan how you will fit a baby into your budget and work schedule. Babies are sweet and cuddly, but they also cost money to raise, and you need to spend a lot of time taking care of them (unless you want a lot of problems later). If you're not ready to stop going to parties yet, it isn't time to have a baby. That's not to say you'll never go to a party again, but I've only been to a handful since my son was born, and he's 3 now. My husband and I are just to the point now where we're able to put a little bit away for him for college (or a house, or whatever), which is a part of raising him to be self-sufficient, well-educated, and able to move the hell out of our house before he's 30.

4) Seriously consider being married before having children. I'm not going to preach about lifestyles or anything, but being married means you're with someone you trust who also trusts you, and he's someone who was willing to take your hand in front of God and everybody and say he wanted to love and support you and have children with you. This means he is also someone who will love you through your hormone swings and will probably also help out when the baby wakes up ten times in the middle of the night with colic and a stinky diaper.

5) Plans don't always work out. Maybe you'll have an accident and end up pregnant when you didn't plan to be. On the other hand, maybe you'll plan everything perfectly, have everything in place, and then have to try for five years to have a baby. These things happen, and sometimes you just have to suck it up and make the best of a bad situation. Just don't put yourself in a bad situation on purpose. It's tough to get sympathy for something you did on purpose.


Oh yes, and I love the names Sophie and Tyler. They sound sophisticated and are also easy for the child to learn to spell when they start kindergarten.

I'll start off by saying, no person is a 'hoe', seeing as it's a gardening tool smile

Now here's the big bit. Do NOT get pregnant at your age. Children are not all fun and games, they are hard work, including changing nappies, getting up in the night, sleepless nights, trouble getting them to sleep, figuring out what's wrong because they can't tell you.
You're 13 years old, (or near enough) you've got at least three - five years left of school, you've got college or uni or both you can do. You've got a job to get, your own place, settling down. You have a child you're putting all of that on hold, which means you wont be able to financially support your child. Yes, love is everything to bringing up a child, but you need money too. Being on benefits is not easy either.

I'm not against or a hater of young teens who have kids themselves, but I would rather see much less of those who are still in school getting pregnant. I had left school (we leave school at 15/16) when I had gotten pregnant, but unlike a lot of girls, I had family and boyfriend support. After a good 15 months of my daughter's life, I still find it difficult sometimes to cope, even with the help I get. I have had to put any major college on hold, which has dropped my chances of getting a job right down. Since I fell pregnant I have done two courses; one was a short four or five month course to gain English, Maths and First Aid certificates (basic first aid and lv.1 City and guilds). I got an extra certificate in basic IT as well.
The second one has been an 8 week computer course, which I took earlier this year, and that was only a lv.1 OCR in using MS programmes.
However God knows, if I was to turn back the clock to before I conceived, I wouldn't change a thing. Others may, or may not. But we can't turn the clock back, so if you have a child, you can't turn the clock back to change that.

As for wanting to have a child through using a sperm donor, for a start you're far too young to get it, secondly it does cost. Another thing is, if you did it that way, the child, once old enough, can easily find out who their biological father is. Now we all know sperm donors are donating sperm, they're not wanting the responsibility of a child from that. If you child later in life finds out who that sperm belonged to, they could get shot down by that person if they seek them out. And that is going to hit them like a knife to the heart.

You are young, you've got plenty of time to have children. Don't throw your own childhood away.

Goodness, no need to yell. eek You asked for our opinions and we gave them freely. You REALLY made it sound like you were going to do this now and that scared the heck out of us. Im sorry, but you are to young.
And Im not sure that you didnt mean right now, you say you gave up the idea, then say you meant when you were older.

We were all just trying to help you think it through since we are (most of us) parents and know the strife and how hard it is.

Best of luck to you in all you decide and I hope we werent to harsh. sweatdrop

whee heart Thank you ^^

i like sophie and tyler!

hey, i'm just posting for gold and all of you said all the right things!

actually i can relate in a way. i have known since i was 8 that i would be a mother regardeless of my career. as a teen i thought constantly about being a teen mom but the would have required someone who didn't think i was too hideous to date. then the boyfriend i did get at 16 was too nice to do that and it took convincing him when we were 18 to do the deed! And even then i used protection. hmmm.... 8 years later i marry my best friend (someone who actually thought i was attractive) and it takes us 14 years and in vitro fertilization to get our twins. i am glad in many ways i had my children at 42 insted of 16. there is alot to be said for the right place and time. 3nodding