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 Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:35 pm
*It had been a good two weeks now and still Jack found himself padding back and forth; contemplating on what to do with his life. He had told Aysha, the black and white lioness that he had befriended a few weeks ago that he loved her! Had he gone mad? Kujack was no capable of loving someone, was he? His lime green eyes narrowed onto his white paws as he sat himself down under a large tree. The shadows kept him cooled off from the heat that covered the lands.
He snorted and swore under his breath. He blamed Ger really... Ger had changed him so much. He gave Jack meaning and showed him how to love again, he opened the bitter male’s heart. It was a pity… Jack felt again. He felt things he wished he didn’t. Love... Love had him completely upside down. He was a mess… he felt things when he was around Aysha, so to save himself he spent little time with her now. As selfish as that may have seemed… he did it to protect her. Leopards and lions didn’t mix- she would never have him... She was too good for him.*
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:47 pm
Aysha didn't understand. Why was Jack avoiding her? He may have been saying it was something else, that he actually wasn't avoiding her, but she knew better. She was scared. Was this another abandonment? First her parents, then that lion who had gotten her pregnant, then her son and her friends and now this? It was too much. Yet, despite all of her fears, she kept searching for Jack. Though it was very possible he could just leave her again, she kept going back.
Walking along, her head turning this way and that as she searched for him, she grew ever closer to where Jack was resting in the shade. Eventually she was but a few yards from him.
"..."
She blinked and just stood there, her ears folded back. She wanted to know what was going on, but she was afraid something horrible would happen. Finally she worked up the nerve to approach him.
"Jack..?" she asked, padding slowly forward.
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 4:11 pm
*Sitting still the male did nothing. How could he after running off like he had? His eyes narrowed slowly as he titled his head and looked away from her. The inside of his stomach rumbled and he felt sick every time he looked up. What had he done? He put his heart out and he knew he would get her. Softly he sighed, before moving himself up from his resting place. His dark bangs fell past his line of view as he padded over to Aysha. With a slow stop he stood in front of her and eyed her down. Though he looked as if he had seen death it’s self he kept himself strong and stood his ground.*
“Aysha...”
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 4:22 pm
Aysha waited for the leopard to walk over to him. He had avoided all eye contact with her before then, and it was beginning to worry her. To her, it only meant that he had bad news to tell her, and when she thought of bad news, she thought of all the others who had left her so far in her life.
When he finally stood in front of her, she nearly collapsed with nervousness. She wanted to ask him what was bothering him if anything, but she was afraid of what the answer might be.
"I... I've been looking for you," she began hesitantly, unsure of whether she should really be here or not. If he was trying to avoid her, then why not just help him out and leave? "But.. for some reason I feel like you've been.. avoiding me," she whispered, averting her eyes and looking instead down at the ground.
Okay, she had gotten that out. Now for the response..
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 4:37 pm
“I... have been... but it’s not because of you. I think...”
*His tone was very soft, so that only she could hear him. In a way Kujack feared other’s seeing him when he sowed emotion. His body moved closer to hers as he pulled his maw to her left ear, speaking to her so that only she could hear him now. His neck brushed against hers as he did this.*
“I feared rejection... I didn’t want you to dislike me... So I left..”
*With that said Jack slowly pulled himself away from her and with a soft nod he gazed at her deeply. He did feel sorry for running off like he did, he just couldn’t help himself.*
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 4:54 pm
Aysha's eyes began to water when Jack admitted to have been avoiding her. It was as if her worst fears were coming true. She could almost see the whole thing in her head right then and there: Jack would tell her that he needed to be by himself or something and then he'd leave. Forever.
Yet then he stepped towards her, nearly touching her, and whispered in her ear about how he had been afraid that she wouldn't like him. When he finished and stepped back, she blinked.
"Th-that's why?" she asked, her eyes searching his. "Well, I don't dislike you," she told him firmly, though inside all she wanted to do was cry and just collapse. "I was... I was just afraid you'd leave me. Like... like my parents and my son and.." She shut her eyes tight, all the memories of all those who had left her coming back, fresh, in her mind.
"I'm sorry," she sniffed, shaking her head as she sank down to her belly. It was time. She just couldn't take it anymore.
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:00 pm
“Your son?”
*Kujack questioned softly as he moved himself to her side. He had never heard of her son… until now. Jack didn’t even know that she had a son- Aysha didn’t look like she had ever hade cubs and she had never spoken of him… until now. With a deep sigh the male stood over her and gazed down at her softly. He didn’t understand why she held herself the way she did… until now. She feared rejection just as much he did… though... it was the fear of being alone that killed her- not the fear of being unloved. With a soft and caring nuzzled Kujack moved himself to sit beside her; rubbing his forehead along her side he spoke again, his tone soft.*
“I’m not going to leave... I just felt so small for letting my emotions out like that...”
*He pulled himself up again and sat beside her. He didn’t know what to say or do at this point, Jack was simply confused. With a soft gaze he looked over her and asked.*
“...Can I ask... about your son?”
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:20 pm
Aysha sniffled and looked up at Jack as he seemed to be a little surprised when she had mentioned her son. Thinking back on it, she had never really mentioned her son to Jack and so his surprise was understandable. Plus, it wasn't like having one cub could give a female that look of being a mother.
As Jack nuzzled himself against her, she blinked then leaned against him for comfort. She shut her eyes tight, trying to just forget all of her emotions and all of the trouble she had gone through in her life. She just wanted to forget it all, to start over and just have a normal life. Would she ever have that?
When he asked about her son, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I.. guess I could," she murmured. But what did he want to know exactly? Deciding to ask him, she said:
"What do you want to know?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 10:17 am
“What’s his name? How old is he? What does he look like? did you know his father?”
*Kujack knew that some times… females didn’t know the father of the cubs the birthed… some times; things happened that a female regretted. Was Aysha hurt? His eyes narrowed upon her as she spoke to her softly. He wanted to know because he wanted her in his life. Everything she had to say he wanted to hear.*
“…Why isn’t he with you now?”
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 10:27 am
Aysha listened to the stream of questions that came from the male. All of them she was comfortable asking, all of them but the last. Did you know his father? She blinked for a few moments, her mind just blank. That was the only question she dreaded. But she still had to answer them. She had said she'd tell Jack about her son, and so that's what she was going to do.
Taking a deep breath, she began. "His name is Ausi'shemshi. He is an adolescent now, almost fully grown. He looks like me only red instead of black." She paused when it came time for her to answer that last one. "I didn't know his father," she whispered, frowning then moving her head to rest it on her paws.
Then Jack asked why Ausi wasn't with her now. That was a good question, and she wished she knew exactly how to answer it.
"I don't know," she finally said, frowning again. "He just... left."
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 10:53 am
*As Aysha spoke Kujack nodded- Her son was older then he thought he was… maybe she gave birth to him at a younger age? With a soft frown Jack rested a paw along her back and sighed. When she spoke of her son’s father Jack felt himself grow a bit upset at himself… for being male. Why did Aysha have to go through that? Was that she was so hard to follow… her sorrow held her back? Jack didn’t want this life for her, he wanted to her happy… He wanted her to be happy.*
“…Maybe he is lost…”
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:02 am
Aysha pulled away from the leopard when he placed his paw on her back. Talking about Ausi's father had brought back horrible memories, and right then she just didn't want to be touched.
"I-I'm sorry," she whispered, her head hanging low in embarassment. She probably looked like a freak, Jack not knowing what had really happened to her and all. "Ausi's father..." She stopped. Shaking her head, she tried to clear it of any and all thoughts of that horrid male who had gotten her pregnant so long ago. It seemed like ages in reality, but in her mind the scene kept playing over and over, fresh.
"Yeah... maybe," she replied quietly, her tone that of doubt. Her son had left her, end of story. He had been old enough to not get lost when he had first disappeared. He wasn't lost.
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:10 am
“Aysha…”
*Her name was all that could escape him at this time. Kujack was left limp- he couldn’t even comfort her that way he wanted to. Looking away slowly the male stood on all fours; his dark bangs passed his line of view as a soft wind passed the two. He gazed over to her deeply and felt his heart ache. He loved this lioness… and it pained him to see her so upset. Tiling his head to the side he sat himself down and said nothing. Kujack feared harming it… he did.*
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Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 12:11 pm
Aysha sniffled and shook her head, trying to clear away all of her emotions. This wasn't the way she had wanted to spend her day. She had wanted to see Jack and to talk with him, be happy with him. This was not being happy.
"I'm fine," she lied, folding her ears back. "I was just... remembering."
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:56 am
“Aysha…”
*Kujack’s eyes laced along the back of her skull as he spoke; his body seemed to move into a circle stance. He didn’t want her to hurt.*
“I… I want to make you happy.”
*He feared saying such things.. Due to him being what he was… She was sad… hurt too, he could tell. Such things she went through must have been hard to overcome… and she seemed to still linger within the past. Jack wanted to change that.. .He did- he wanted to show her love. This was the most unselfish thing Kujack had ever done before.*
“I want you to know.. That I am here… and I care.”
*He was melt in front of her.. But right now it didn’t matter. He wanted her to know.*
“I love you.”
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