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 Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 5:25 pm
got any funny jokes? i wana her 'em! i would say some now, but my moms ranting me to get off the computor, so post 'em please! wink
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 6:37 pm
This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 10:51 pm
ok heres a pretty good one
a high school teacher is over viewing his students taking a test, he called for every one to put their pencils down, every one but one student did, so he humored the student and let him finish the test, the student tried to hand in his test but the teacher said, "im sorry sonny, but i cant allow you to, you exceded the testing time." the student tried to put the test in the pile once again, and the teacher said, "son, do you know who i am?" the student replied, "yes sir, Mr.Smith... but do you know who i am?" the teacher replied, "no", "good" said the student, shoving his test into the middle of the pile, he then walked out of the room blaugh xp rolleyes
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 3:32 am
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 9:04 am
Before I post any, what's the age rating on jokes posted? Wouldn't like to scare the kiddies... blaugh
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 10:34 am
Spigster Before I post any, what's the age rating on jokes posted? Wouldn't like to scare the kiddies... blaugh erm.... ummm... idk... most 12 years olds these days are filled to the brim with all sorts of crap... so 12 i guess...
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 3:20 pm
So Gandhi always walked around with no shoes on so he had really rough feet.
He is also renowned for his hunger strikes that made him very skinny.
He was also a very spiritual man.
But due to his poor diet he had very bad breath.
So what does that make Gandhi?
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 8:36 pm
purpleravenhawk So Gandhi always walked around with no shoes on so he had really rough feet. He is also renowned for his hunger strikes that made him very skinny. He was also a very spiritual man. But due to his poor diet he had very bad breath. So what does that make Gandhi? A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 9:39 pm
ok a bonde is rowing a boat in the middle of a cornfield, and another blode passes by on a bike and yells to the one in the boat, "ITS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME! AND IF I COULD SWIM, ID GO OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR a**!!!
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 6:00 am
Jesse Aaron Spigster Before I post any, what's the age rating on jokes posted? Wouldn't like to scare the kiddies... blaugh erm.... ummm... idk... most 12 years olds these days are filled to the brim with all sorts of crap... so 12 i guess... Hmm...I'll have to restrain myself then xd @ Purple: LMAO!! whee @ Jesse: Thank god I'm not blonde... blaugh
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 7:36 am
Spigster Jesse Aaron Spigster Before I post any, what's the age rating on jokes posted? Wouldn't like to scare the kiddies... blaugh erm.... ummm... idk... most 12 years olds these days are filled to the brim with all sorts of crap... so 12 i guess... Hmm...I'll have to restrain myself then xd @ Purple: LMAO!! whee @ Jesse: Thank god I'm not blonde... blaugh darn... oh well edit- i meant about the jokes, not the fact that you werent a blonde sweatdrop xp
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:51 pm
how did the blonde die raking leaves...*waits for answer*
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 5:08 pm
Lord Helseth how did the blonde die raking leaves...*waits for answer* she fell out of a tree... thats a lame joke...
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 7:43 pm
A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we're drinking together."
The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the guy's three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2005 6:08 am
@- kat- LOL!!!!!
ever heard of a dumb blonde joke? well this is a smart blonde joke eek surprised
ok so a blonde is sitting next to a lawer on a plane, the plane is due to land in 8 hours, and the blonde is trying to get some sleep, the lawer leans over and says, "hey? you want to play a little game?"
the blonde, still wanting sleep, says no, but the lawer persists, until the blonde finaly says yes
"ok" he says, "heres how it works, i ask yo ua question, and if you can answer you give me $5, and you do answer it, nothing happens, then you ask me a question, if i cant answer it i give you $500, ok?... ready to play? ok, exactly how many mile is the earth away from the sun?"
the blonde doesnt say a word, gets out her purse, annd hands him $5
"ok, your turn" the lawer says
"ok" she says, "what walks up a hill on 3 legs, and walks down a different hill of four legs?"
this question has the lawer stumped, he checks national archives, asks all his friends, googles it he does everything possible to try and find the answer! but he never found it, so he reached into his wallet and gave her $500
so after he handed her the $500 he says, "well?... what was the answer?"
not saying a word, the blonde reached into her purse and handed the lawer $5 rolleyes
and you thought all blondes were stupid xp
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