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 Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:13 pm
Here is the first of my poems. If you enjoy reading it, please comment and I can post some more. Thank you!
The Case for the Prosecution
“We’d like to present our case” said the mind with a terrible grin,
“To prove how the defendant abandoned his duty and let only pain in.”
The heart stood up in anger. “Objection! I must protest!
I have committed no such crime, the mind is clearly obsessed!”
The soul regarded them wearily, waved words away with his hand
Said, “Please restrain yourself, heart, or you shall be removed from the stand.”
“I’d like to call my witness” sneered the mind, “Eyes, would you please rise?”
“We clearly saw the harm the heart caused!” the eyes stood and cried,
“We watched as the body suffered and gained nothing in reply.”
“I rest my case.” The mind concluded, and the heart gave a sigh.
“I call the ears as my witness” and they took their place in the dock.
The jury saw the mind swear, this came as quite a shock.
“We heard the loving tender words of the heart, there is nothing more true.
If there is anyone corrupted here, mind, my God it really is you.”
The court erupted. “Silence, silence!” yelled the tired soul now,
“I have heard enough of this, any more I cannot allow.
Jury, give us your verdict, and for God’s sake make it brief.”
They cried “Both are guilty!”, the soul sighed: “What a relief”.
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 1:33 pm
A Lifetime of Longing
Welcome to a lifetime of longing. May we take your name?
We have so many others like you who’ve earned this shame.
Please, take a seat; an old flame will be with you in a moment
Just to show you how much you’ve lost and exacerbate your torment.
Let us take your coat, and introduce you to the one of your dreams
The one who wouldn’t look twice at you though your heart gleams.
Would you like something to eat? Or drink, to drown your sorrow
Though you keep a spark of hope alive through the day after tomorrow.
Make yourself at home, just make sure no one falls for you now
We want you to be unlucky in love as much as we can allow.
Keep dwelling on your dreams, my dear, of the ones you’ve loved and lost
The ones you wished loved you, the names on your heart embossed.
And so concludes my speech. Now, new friend, a toast
To a lifetime of longing, to the ones you miss the most.
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Skeksys Beau Pre Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 3:10 am
Wow, those are really good. For me to actually feel good about reading poetry is a rare thing but I think what you write is a blend such that the form and rhythm of poetry is there but the sense of prose is there as well.
Very well done.
(I sound like some sort of school teacher)
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 11:33 am
Skeksys Wow, those are really good. For me to actually feel good about reading poetry is a rare thing but I think what you write is a blend such that the form and rhythm of poetry is there but the sense of prose is there as well. Very well done. (I sound like some sort of school teacher) Lol it's OK. Thanks! mrgreen
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Skeksys Beau Pre Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 7:16 am
If you ever want a critic, just ask smile
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 12:22 pm
Thank you! I've written a couple of plays I could send you for your opinion if you'd like. I would love your comments on those!
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Skeksys Beau Pre Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 4:01 am
If you'd like to send them privately, my address is skeksys@gmail.com .
Otherwise just post them here and I will comment on them. I hope to be using this subforum a lot more than I used to.
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Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:40 pm
one of the best poems i've ever read
if you want a second critic im your man. Over the years ive read poetry and plays but few poems have made me as interested as yours have made me
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