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 Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:52 pm
Well, this time, my dad is just being rude. My mom wanted to set up dates for me to go to her house for christmas, and I asked dad about the dates, and he said he wanted a letter and cut me off most of the times I tried to speak. The next day, he's mad about me getting a C in an advanced class where half the people are failing it. I am working on a proposal with him, and I said I didn't understand a metaphor he made and that the teachers wouldn't either, and he just said I need to work hard. He constantly badgers me and tells me to basically get almost perfect grades in every class, including some that are a year ahead of almost everyone else in my class. I don't know what to say to him, but I can't take him beating up on me anymore. If I stand up to him, he'll yell at me and punish me, and then I feel bad because it always seems to him as if I did wrong. I can only ignore him for so long, then I get angry at him and myself and depressed. What can I do to get him to back off?
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 3:52 pm
Well, if you're getting bad grades, you might either want to work your way up a bit more, or simply take an easier class (I used to be in an a**-load of Honors classes as well, but I just couldn't take it--I had to drop a couple). Besides for that, you can just ask your mom (they don't talk, though, from the sounds of it), or someone to talk to him about it. Some people (parents are not), are quite intolerable. Period. My mother is one of them, actually; but I'm lucky, because I don't see her alot, anymore (she works alot).
But, how you might want to deal with it is just not talk to him. If you don't understand something--as much as it bugs you--let it slide. Pretend like you know. Don't show him your grades, unless he asks; leave notes, instead of talking to him. And if he asks why, you can just write him a note TELLING him why!
By writing notes, he can't yell at you, OR cut you off. Also, you can tell him he's being way too inconsiderate towards you, and expecting way to much. By doing that, he might soften up (or get angrier; it's rolling the dice). But, like I said--by writing notes (not snippy ones; just nice little ones saying the things you need, etc.), he can't cut you off, and you two still communicate. :]
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:52 pm
I say maybe drop a few classes to CP instead of honors. And maybe talk to your grade level counselor about what's going on at home. Talk to your mom, if you can. And maybe have her talk with him. He needs to know, that this is YOUR choice. YOUR life. And if he doesn't agree, he can go screw a wall or something stare . It's not right for him to try and run your life. Talking to the counselor, will help you get what you want said out. And she/he can help you with how to say things to your dad, so it wont upset him. Remember, never put the other person on the defense, or they'll break. Let him know, that you'd probably do better in CP classes, and you'd get better grades. You'll eventually take the classes you are now, again, in later years. This is your life, not his.
heart heart heart heart heart
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 6:32 pm
i have to tell you i know where your coming from only thing we have diffrent is my mom is still with my jackass of a father. for 17 years he has abused me and mistreated me. blaming me for everything grounded me for no reason, he threw a tub of butter at my mom once and is always yelling at us. me i went to my brother and my freinds for support to help me get threw things for they always knew what to do what to say because they know you the most. i know the problem with grades my dad took me off the football team for getting a c and he wants perfection out of me in everything. so i went out and got a job that gets me out of the house and away from him. look for things to keep you busy and out of trouble. try not to raise your voice for all it will do is agrivcate him, and when it is serious get away from it and go see some close freinds. I know your pain your not alone on this one so if you need someone to talk to you can contract me i i will always lend a helping hand when i can.
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