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 Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 11:43 pm
Yeah. So stuff goes here I'd assume.
Mmmm. Well, this is what happens when me and my friends are together in class without supervision. Our professor left us for ten minutes... we horsed around, then had a great idea. We challenged eachother to write a poem in under three minutes.... this was mine:
Slowly walking towards the light,
I think I'm seeking what is right,
but ere my dreams may take flight,
Something I realize is wrong with my sight.
Good causes evil, and evil, delight.,
I must aim for the mean of day and night,
Striving to walk a straight path with all my might
Seeking the balance between dark and light.
Enjoy. Or not. Just... no rotten tomatos please.
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Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:10 am
WOW! That Is A Incredible Poem! I Am Not Joking, That Is Simply Amazing For Being Written In 10 Minutes
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Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:08 am
Actually it was written in three. Terrible handwriting, but still... got it down. We had been talking about poems for several minutes, so I already had the idea, and first line or two in my head, but yeah....
I wish I had my friend's though. She wrote about a stream... and it made all the rest of ours look terrible. gonk That's the downside of having such awesome friends, they make you look pretty pathetic sometimes ^_^
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Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:47 am
Mendacii Actually it was written in three. Terrible handwriting, but still... got it down. We had been talking about poems for several minutes, so I already had the idea, and first line or two in my head, but yeah.... I wish I had my friend's though. She wrote about a stream... and it made all the rest of ours look terrible. gonk That's the downside of having such awesome friends, they make you look pretty pathetic sometimes ^_^
Psh,
I know how that feels... -.-
Lol heart
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Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:15 pm
I like it! Alot! Keep em' coming please 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:43 pm
Flower.
I glance around the room, my eye catching on a mirror,
In its faithful reflection, something I see that I hold dear,
A beautiful flower's image, reflected on the silver metal,
Truthfully shown, down to the last snow white petal,
I feel my eyes brimming, and down my cheek slips a tear,
My lonely thoughts are broken, a shrieking noise I hear,
Not the voice of a sorrowed soul, but only the sound of my kettle,
Numbly I take the teapot off, and watch the water settle,
Pouring it gently into my cup, I let it seep on the table near,
But ere the tea is finished, my eyes again have found the mirror.
Standing in front of it, I feel alone, abandoned, and full of fear,
The flower softly gazes at me, from it's vase of metal,
The friend it symbolizes, I know she'd want my mind to settle,
But I so long again, for her quiet voice to reach my ear,
For the warm and loving comfort, given by one I hold so dear. Dedicated to all the flowers that have wilted, and to all the blossoms the frost has taken before their time. Not that it's worthy tribute to the beauty lost, but I tried.
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:45 pm
crying
Water fills my eyes,
As I look upon this poem,
It's beauty shining bright,
Yes a wonderful poem,
I've indeed read tonight...
Some of the lines seem to be a little off,
In the flowing of the poem...
Makes the feel a little odd,
Just my personal feelings and opinions on it...
You asked for critiques, so I tried to give you some that I had...
"Pouring it gently into my cup, I let it seep on the table near,
But ere the tea is finished, my eyes have again found the mirror.
Standing in front of it, I feel alone, abandoned, full of fear."
That's an example.
It sounds beautiful...really beautiful...
But it seems a little...wierd,
Flowing wise...
Maybe I'm just singing it wrong.
Beautiful poem...
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:58 pm
Frozen Rain
Frozen rain, falls all around,
Frozen rain, without a sound,
Frozen rain, melting as you fall,
Frozen rain, fading with no trace at all,
Frozen rain, by a different name we know,
Frozen rain, why does everyone call you snow?
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:12 pm
Why I smile
When life seems to be all right, I smile.
When clouds hide stars at night, I smile.
When those stars shine ever clear, I smile.
When I'm surrounded by the things I fear, I smile.
When people with their warm hearts love me, I smile.
When my salty bitter tears I want no one to see, I smile.
When the dance of life has caught me in it's embrace, I smile.
When my nightmares come true in seeing a dead freind's face, I smile.
When at long last and through all it's challenges I've won life's race, I smile.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:53 am
Very Nice. I Think They Have A Nice Ring To Them, I Like The One About Falling Ice
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:38 pm
Mendacii Why I smile
When life seems to be all right, I smile.
When clouds hide stars at night, I smile.
When those stars shine ever clear, I smile.
When I'm surrounded by the things I fear, I smile.
When people with their warm hearts love me, I smile.
When my salty bitter tears I want no one to see, I smile.
When the dance of life has caught me in it's embrace, I smile.
When my nightmares come true in seeing a dead freind's face, I smile.
When at long last and through all it's challenges I've won life's race, I smile.
Thou hast created,
A beautiful work of art,
I pray it lasts forever,
From this world never to part,
So beautiful 'tis,
Though one thing I must say is,
A line thou hast written,
Just don't seem to be fittin'
"When my salty bitter tears I want no one to see, I smile."
There's nothing about those tears,
That seems to make real sense,
But it doesn't matter too much,
'Tis of little consequence.
Perhaps you'd want to change it to:
"With my salty bitter tears I want no one to see, I smile."
Yes???
Did you mean to say something else but did not?
Lovely poem, I really like it, and the frozen rain one.
I'll give you a critique on that too.
A critique now for Frozen Rain,
Flowing like a lion's mane,
But still something's not right,
And so I tell you now:
"Frozen rain, melting as you fall,
Frozen rain, fading with no trace at all,"
Seems to be a little off in the flow and rhythm.
I love snow ^_^
And I'm not a slave to rhyme,
Nor is rhyme a slave to me,
It is a force, a power,
That graciously allows me,
To wield its power,
And create beauty with words,
Just as language does.
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:29 am
"Fishing for truth"
Whispering winds of days gone by,
Laughing echoes of memories fond,
And I can't forget them, even if I try,
As I sit in front of this silent misty pond
Just sitting, with no purpose or reason,
Remembering, thinking, dreaming, wishing,
Of future and past, but never this season,
Friends don't understand, they think I'm out fishing
A small little lie, why did I create it?
I really can't say, sitting here now,
It annoys me, like a shoe that doesn't fit,
I wish I could change, and I wonder how
But not for long, because my mind soon strays,
It's always that way, I can never stay straight,
So my mind returns to memories of past days,
Meanwhile, the back of my mind ponders my fate.
Just sitting here, by this sad little pool,
Not doing anything, just sitting and staring,
Not doing anything, just acting the fool,
Up from the pool reflect all my flaws glaring.
With a sigh and a nod, I push that away,
Cursing myself never helped me grow better,
Other things were better to think of anyway,
Like that piece of paper on my desk, that half finished letter.
I close my eyes and shut my view out,
That's why I came to this secluded spot,
It's my way of getting my feelings out,
"God" I say out loud, "I miss her more than I thought"
But time is always short, there's never enough,
So I stand, and at the pond I look once more,
Time to head back home, and start acting tough,
Once I get back, I pause a moment at the door.
Overcoming my reluctance I open it wide,
An empty room stares at me and I sigh,
Stopping to throw off my coat as I step inside,
Silence now, broken only by the sound of some lazy fly,
The calm of the moment is destroyed too soon,
By the harsh ringing of my unmerciful phone,
It's Jake, he only calls once in a blue moon,
Picking it up "Hey man" I say in a casual tone.
"Where you been man" he says, "I heard you were missin' "
With a grimace I reply cheerfully "No, I only went fishing " What story do you think is being told...?
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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:43 pm
The truth you do bend,
All too well I know,
But the hands you lend,
And the kindness you show,
Are why I know,
What you really are,
Far away, yet shines so bright,
Just like a distant star...
Mmmm...
I believe this is about one who created a lie,
To keep somebody happy,
And they thought that because it made that person happy,
It would make them happy too...
But that one person slipped,
As good as a deceiver they were,
Caused pain...
Angered by their defeat,
They chose a secluded spot,
Troubled by what has happened...
Troubled by not being able to be,
What they tried...
And then they go home,
A friend calls...
And that person, being who they are,
Puts on a false smile,
And pretends everything is alright..
Why?
Because they don't want to show weakness,
Because they fear others...
They are proud,
Too proud sometimes,
But that doesn't stop them...
When they fail to accomplish something,
They refuse to acknowledge it,
By building up a lie,
To themselves...
Damn they're so good at it...
Please forgive me,
If I was too bold,
But I believe,
'Tis the story that's told...
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:43 am
under 3 mins thats frikkin awsome
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